“Ha. Ha.”
“And also, for the record, since you can’t see this clearly either,” Clara tells me pointedly. “When you click with a woman in and out of the sheets, that means she’s girlfriend material.”
“Yeah, Frankie is girlfriend material, but I can’t handle a girlfriend,” I reply. I can’t. I really can’t have a girlfriend. I swear.
“Okay. So this off-season when she goes off and finds herself someone that can manage a career and a girlfriend…” Clara pauses and her dark brown eyes narrow. “You’ll be fine with that?”
No. No I will not. In fact, just thinking about that makes me want to puke.
“Who says she wants a boyfriend? She’s got two all-consuming jobs and trust issues,” I argue.
“Yeah, and she let you in, so she’ll eventually let someone else in too,” Clara says to me and shakes her head at my level of stupidity again.
“Shut up. I need to focus,” I say and dig my headphones out of my hoodie pocket.
“You mean you have to distract yourself from the cold hard truth,” Clara mutters.
“Shut up.”
* * *
When we getto the track, we go through the usual procedures in unusual silence. I’m not mad at Clara. I’m annoyed she’s right and knows she’s right. We run through some coordination drills and neck stretches and then she heads to the cafeteria to get me my favorite green juice, and I change. I’m on my way to meet her when I run into Lady Ava Markham of… some fucking British place. She’s as beautiful as ever with her long, perfectly posh blonde hair and bright, inquisitive blue eyes accented in subtle make-up … all of which still pale in comparison to every single thing about Frankie Castera. Ava smiles so brightly I almost squint.
“William, honey!” She opens her arms and leans forward, and before I know it, her lips are on my cheek and her arms are around my shoulders. Antonio walks by with Rocco, and they both smile. Antonio even gives me a thumbs up. I want to groan in protest but manage to simply pat her back and untangle myself. “Hi Ava. Should I curtesy or bow or something?”
“You asked me that the first time we met.” Ava giggles and leans a little closer again. “And I told you, you can do either as long as you’re naked.”
Oh right. Fuck.
“I hope you enjoy the race today,” I say with a friendly but hopefully dismissive smile as I start to climb the stairs. “I have a schedule to follow right now. I’m sure you understand.”
“Yes. Of course,” Ava says but she starts to climb the stairs right next to me. Fucking great. “I wouldn’t want to pull you out of your routine. I just wanted to thank you for the pass and say that I hope to see you after the race.”
“Hopefully,” I reply vaguely. We’re on the landing now, directly in front of the large opening that leads to the cafeteria, where it seems almost everyone who works at Mirabella is gathered at this current moment. Including Frankie. I can see her, standing about five feet away, listening to Joaquin as he points at something on a tablet. I glance at Ava. “It’s going to be a bit of a weird race, with what happened to Lucia Castera yesterday. So I mean, I’ll probably spend a lot of time with media regardless of whether I podium or not.”
“I understand,” she replies, and damnit, she’s walking alongside me again. I like her. She’s nice and means well, but ugh. I don’t need this on top of everything else. “I saw footage of you at the hospital yesterday. It was so kind of you to go and check on Lucia.”
“She’s part of our team,” I say honestly because I would have checked on Lucia with or without my feelings for Frankie. I mean, maybe just by phone if I wasn’t in love with her sister, but still. I would have checked. “And her dad is like a father to me.”
“You were the only driver to go, you know,” Ava tells me. Her eyes soften a little and she looks suddenly embarrassed as we join Clara in front of the juice bar. “I thought maybe it was about more than being a teammate.”
“Me and Lucia?” I sound completely flabbergasted because I am. I can’t remember one minute of time where I was alone with Lucia, anywhere for any reason. Why would Ava think I was dating her?
And then I hear it. A snicker. My eyes dart to the left and I see Frankie, who has stepped into line behind us. And she’s covering the smile on her mouth with her hand and pretending to read the juice list on the wall.
“I mean, I wasn’t sure. It’s not my business anyway, I just...” Ava’s usual cool, collected British decorum is failing her suddenly. Her cheeks are pinking. If Frankie is watching this at the very least, it’s easy to tell Ava has a crush. But Frankie is astute and probably reads more into this. Because there was more once. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your pre-race routine. But since you’re single, I just wanted to give you this for luck.”
And then she kisses me. On. The. Mouth.
It’s quick, a peck really, butfuck. It’s a kiss. It’s in front of Frankie and everyone, and it’s not okay. Clara steps in. “Ava why don’t I show you the view of the track from the balcony?”
Without waiting for Ava to answer, Clara takes her arm and pulls her away. I turn to Frankie. Her eyes are glued to that Juice of the Day board like it’s the only thing in the room. But I know she saw what happened. “Frankie… I didn’t know she was going to do that.”
“But somehow it didn’t look like a first time thing,” Frankie comments, eyes still on the board.
“No. It wasn’t,” I admit and then, I see it in my mind. The door is open. The door to having the conversation that will end this. I just have to step through it. “But it’s not something that has happened recently. Or frequently.”
“Not my business,” Frankie says. It’s not biting or sharp, though, which I was expecting. And finally, those hazel eyes leave the menu board, and she turns to me. “We’ve both had pasts, right?”
