“Perfect.”
16
Logan
Her laugh isthe best damn thing I think I’ve heard in my entire life. It’s light, not too high, and so filled with genuine joy that it makes me feel like a king when I cause it. She’s lying back in the snow, and she tugs off a mitten to wipe the tears from that unbridled laughter out of her eyes. I’m sitting up beside her, grinning like a loon as the snow falls, lightly now, around us.
“I can’t believe I’ve waited this long to try tobogganing. It’s fantastic!” she says when the giggles subside.
“And you still feel okay?” I double check. She should be fine, but concussion symptoms can pop back up days after a fall and sometimes even weeks.
“I feel great!”
She sits up and readjusts the hat on her head before putting her mitts back on and standing up and grabbing the rope on the front of the toboggan. “Let’s do it again. Just one more time.”
We’ve had about ten runs down the hill and my stomach is grumbling for the burger I have planned for our future. But if she’s going to smile and laugh like that again I am not saying no. I stand up next to her, take the rope from her with one hand, and use the other hand to hold hers as we climb the hill again. It’s a perfect night since the snow let up a bit. It’s chilly without being cold and there’s not wind.
“This is the first hill I ever tobogganed on. I was four,” I tell her as a kid zooms by on a Krazy Karpet. “We weren’t allowed those plastic ones because my mother thought they went too fast and we’d kill ourselves, so we used this bad boy.”
I nod my head at the wooden toboggan I’m pulling behind us. “So we used to pile two or even three of us on here at a time and took turns being the person in the back who steers. Except my brother Finn was banned from steering ever again at the age of eight because he steered us into a tree and busted Declan’s lip open and Terra went head-first into a snow bank.”
She gasps but I just smile. “Don’t worry Terra got even with him the next winter when she knocked him unconscious during a family snowball fight on this exact hill.
“Sounds like being a Hawkins sibling is pretty dangerous,” she replies, smiling.
“It has its precarious moments,” I reply as we reach the summit and I hand her the rope for the toboggan. She looks confused. “Go ahead. You position her and steer.”
I see a strong flicker of hesitation in those warm gray eyes. “I don’t want to steer you into a tree.”
“You won’t. I trust you, like you trusted me.” I lean my head down and give her a quick kiss on the cheek, then nuzzle my face against the crook of her neck and she giggles. “But if you do, the good news is you’re now pretty familiar with concussion protocol and can nurse me through it.”
I watch her position the toboggan and then climb on. I wait patiently as she struggles to position herself behind me. Her tiny legs are barely able to make it around my body on either side. I’m a hundred percent certain she can’t see around me so when she sighs in defeat and admits it, I’m not shocked. We both get up and switch positions so she’s in front of me and I’m behind. As soon as she is snug against my chest I whisper against the shell of her ear, “I like this position better anyway. You fit really well like this.”
She shivers and I give us a shove and we begin our careen down the hill. Her squeals of delight make me happy and hard at the same time. I could tell from the second I met her there had been a lack of joy in her life. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to her. I get Chloe. Even if I don’t know why she’s like me, she is.
I’m doinggreat at steering until we hit a bump I didn’t see coming and suddenly we’re flying as the toboggan comes right up off the snow. As we land with a thump, we wipe out completely and there’s a second of flailing limbs as the toboggan continues down the hill on its own and Chloe and I come to rest in a heap in a fluffy pile of snow.
I roll us over so Chloe is directly on top of me. “Are you okay?”
She laughs. “I officially love this, and Maine winters don’t seem so bleak anymore.”
And then she kisses me. It goes on way longer than it should considering there are kids and parents here, but I’ll be damned if I’ll stop it. Finally, she pulls away and glances around. The way the pink hue to her cheeks instantly darkens I can tell someone spotted our PDA. I turn and follow Chloe’s guilty gaze then lift a hand and wave. “Hi Mrs. Cofax!”
The restaurant regular, who is constantly trying to pimp out her daughter’s speed dating, is standing a few feet away holding a toboggan in one hand and her grandson in the other. She waves at both of us, her mouth curved up in a smile that somehow looks sad. We both wave back and Chloe remarks, “Is it just me or does she look disappointed to see us?”
“She’s disappointed she can’t recruit me for her daughter’s speed dating,” I reply and press my lips to hers again, playfully this time.
She breaks the kiss, and glides a mitten-covered hand over my cheek. “You’re getting ice crystals on your stubble and I thought your stomach rumbling was a bear in the woods on the last run. Is there somewhere we can get a burger and a hot chocolate?”
“Just when I think you can’t get more perfect,” I say and pull us both to our feet. I swear to God, she may just be my soulmate.
We don’t make it home until after eleven, but I’m not tired. I’m happy and excited, and the more time we spend together, the deeper those feelings become. There’s been no lull in conversation, no weird vibes, no uncomfortable moments. We share stories about growing up, we talk about our jobs. We laugh so much my belly feels like I’ve been doing sit-ups. It’s so easy and comfortable I don’t even feel guilty or weird avoiding the secret in my past. We have so much else to discuss, it’s easy. It’s the part I like best because I’m suddenly a horny teenager in the way we both, accidentally-on-purpose, touch each other all night. I brush her hair back when it falls in her face, she wipes ketchup off my lip with her thumb, I hold her hand as we walk. It’s all so natural and easy. God, I hate that word, but really, it is. I could stay up all night with her. I don’t want to say good-night.
When I pull into the driveway I notice the stairs I shoveled earlier need to be shoveled again. I look over at her and cut the engine. “You should head upstairs.”
As soon as it leaves my mouth, her face falls. I can see it clearly, even in the dim light in my car. She’s disappointed. “Oh. Okay. Well, thanks for everything. I had a really great time.”
She thinks I’m ending the date. I undo my seatbelt and lean closer and brush my mouth against hers. It’s a struggle to keep it soft and light. “I was hoping the date wasn’t over. I was hoping we could hang out more after I shovel the stairs.”
