Chewie gets down and trots past me into the apartment. I hold the door open for Nova, who is holding a Tupperware container full of something. “I told Terra I made cookies for River, and she gave me your new address and asked me to deposit Chewie. I sent you a text about it.”
“Didn’t see it. I was napping,” I explain and close the door as I follow her into the kitchen. Her dark brown eyes sweep the place, her brows knitted as she takes in every detail.
“It’s still a work in progress,” I say self-consciously because I haven’t fully furnished the place yet. “I could go to Ikea and fill it full of crap, but I’m looking for vintage pieces. Stuff with character. It’s my first real home. I’ve always had roommates or squatted with Finn and Mom and Dad.”
She turns to me with a smile. “Look at you, using big, designer words like vintage and character. Declan must be rubbing off on you.”
I try not to frown at that. She hates the rift that exists between my brother-slash-her husband and me, and she constantly tries to find things we have in common. Like the fact that we both are into furniture or both like cookie dough ice cream should somehow overcome the bigger differences. “Well, your house is incredible. You guys did a great job.”
She nods. “It’s all Declan. I know nothing about complementary paint colors or crown molding or what furniture is from what period,” she says as she puts the Tupperware of cookies on the counter by the microwave. She proceeds to open the lid and offer one to me. They’re snickerdoodles, River’s favorite.
“I can’t. I’m just getting ready to go out for brunch,” I explain and run a hand through my damp hair. Nova acts surprised. She’s the best bartender and waitress I’ve ever met but a terrible actress.
“Oh. Really? Meeting Jake and Finn or…someone else?”
“Shut up. I can tell Terra told you I had a date,” I say and Nova’s innocent face turns sheepish. “She probably sent you over here just to get it out of me, but it’s not going to work. Thanks for the cookies, River will love them. And thanks for bringing Chewie home. I know Declan hates dog fur on his leather car seats. Now out.”
“Can you at least give me a hint so that Terra thinks I tried harder?” Nova asks, her whole face lighting up in eager expectation. “Personally, I don’t care who you’re going out with, I just hope you have a good time. You deserve a good time.”
“Thanks.”
“So has River spent the night here yet?” she asks, changing the subject and leaning back on the countertop. “Do you want me to talk to Bethany?”
I shake my head. “No and no, but thank you. The courts will figure it out. Besides, you two aren’t exactly friends anymore.”
Nova sighs and tips her head back to the sky, closing her dark eyes briefly. “She was like a sister to me before she became so vindictive. Yeah, it didn’t work out between you two and that sucks, but you gave her River. I couldn’t imagine ever hating someone so completely who gave me a child. I mean, he’s perfect. He’s a gift.”
Her tone is off. She’s a bold, sometimes loud, and very fiery person who always speaks with confidence. Right now, she sounds…melancholy. I take a step toward her.
“Everything okay with you? It’s been a while since we’ve really talked.”
“Yeah, I’m working a ton and so are you,” she says and I can see the struggle on her face to put on a smile. “It’s all good. I’m just…I just think Bethany is lucky and even if you are her ex, there are worse exes to have.”
I smile. “You’re biased. I’m family.”
“You’re a great dad. He’s a great kid because he’s half you and she should, at the very least, acknowledge that fact,” she replies and bites her bottom lip for a second before she blurts out. “If Declan and I had kids I would forever be grateful to him, no matter what happened between us.”
Whoa. I suddenly stop worrying about the time, and my date, and focus completely on Nova. She just dropped a bomb. “I thought you didn’t want kids.”
“I didn’t,” she admits and nods but it’s shaky. She sighs. “I was sure of that. But now…I’m not as sure.”
“Oh.” Yep, that’s definitely a bomb. Declan and Nova have both always said no kids. “Have you talked to Declan about this?”
“Declan is still certain we’ve made the right choice,” she replies and her tone evens out suddenly. “He’s probably right. I’m probably just having some weird hormone imbalance. I swear I don’t even like kids, well except yours. And Declan and I don’t have the time or the energy for kids. I’m at the restaurant twelve hours a day, and he’s spending so much time in Boston networking and going to marketing conferences. And in his spare time, he’s training for marathons, and I do love my lazy mornings sleeping in when I don’t work. It wouldn’t be fair to throw a baby into that. I’m just romanticizing the whole thing because River can be so cute.”
She turns away and walks toward the door. I stare after her for a second, struggling with what to say next. I can’t tell her the truth, which is that you find the time and the energy because it’s your kid and you love it more than you even realize is possible right now. I can’t tell her I wasn’t ready to have River when I did and definitely didn’t think I was capable of being a father, but yet I am, and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t say those things because it’s not what she needs to hear, because it’s not what Declan wants, and it will create more problems, not less. She wants to want what her husband wants. I can see it in her doe-like brown eyes and the forced ‘everything is fine’ smile on her full mouth.
“I should go and let you make yourself all pretty,” she says and her boisterous tone and bold smile are back. She opens the front door but before she steps out, she turns back to me. “Just tell me if she’s a blonde, brunette, or redhead so I can give Terra something.”
I walk toward her with a small smile and reach out to hug her good-bye. She melts into my embrace and I can feel the sorrow in her. “Are you and Declan connecting on other levels?”
“When I see him, yeah. We’re the same as always,” Nova replies. “Like I said, we’re both busy, but he’s still my best friend, and I’m happy. Really.”
I feel her head against my shoulder give the smallest, weakest little nod and then I hear someone else. Chloe. Her voice is happy and bright and getting louder with every word. “Logan? Hey, I was thinking you should totally—”
Time stands still. Chloe is frozen on the cobblestone path just outside the open front door. Her eyes are wide, and her mouth is open in a weird shape as she stopped speaking mid-sentence. Nova tenses in my arms as if she turned to stone. The weight of how this looks—I’m holding a woman in the middle of my apartment in nothing but a towel—has me unable to move as well.
Chewie breaks the tension of the entirely awkward situation when he barks in excitement at seeing Chloe. She jumps. Nova steps away from me and I leap back from her.
