My eyes can’t help but follow the hem of the tank as it rises up his torso revealing ripple after ripple of well-defined muscle. I feel like the Count onSesame Streetas my brain shoutsone ab, two ab, three ab, four ab, five ab, six ab…ah, ah, ah!
And of course, as the shirt rises higher and higher so does the heat in my cheeks. By the time he’s shirtless I know I’m the color of a first degree sunburn. Daisy lets out a laugh followed by a snort. “You should see your face!”
“Why is he getting naked?” I croak and stare at his face, which is barely visible yet somehow—in the recesses of my mortified mind—I feel like I should know him. “They clean in their underwear,” Jasmyn says and Caroline giggles maniacally beside her.
“What? Why?” I squeak as his hands goes to the button on his loose jeans and my eyes follow. “Oh my God.”
I cover my face as the sunburn color deepens to second degree. My roommates are all laughing so loud at my reaction I consider moving out. “Jerks!”
I can’t stop myself from peeking through my fingers though. He is totally just in his underwear now. A pair of snug, black Calvin Klein boxer briefs.Sweet Mother Mary and Joseph.The man isfine. Daisy moves beside me and slings an arm over my shoulder. “Hey cowboy, you can start in the kitchen. We bought the full meal deal, for the record.”
My hands drop and I glare at her. “What does that even mean?”
Before she can answer I turn to our masked, mostly naked guest and say. “You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I mean, we’re not like…this is so…we won’t touch you or anything. This is a safe space. I’m so sorry.”
I’m rambling on like a complete insane person at this point, drowning in embarrassment. Jasmyn is laughing so hard tears are streaming down her cheeks and Caroline is doubled over, leaning on the wall for support. Daisy stares at me like I have lost my mind. “Full meal deal means he’ll do the dirty dishes and clean the toilets as well as mop and dust. Get your mind out of the gutter, sis.”
I look at her and back at him. He holds up a feather duster. And tucks the handle into the side of his very tight, very complimentary boxer briefs. My embarrassment sunburn shade kicks up to third degree. “I’m going to go hide in my room.”
I start down the hall but Daisy grabs me. “Oh no, honey, we didn’t hire him to do this without an audience. Show him where the kitchen is and supervise his work.”
“This is ridiculously sexist,” I blurt out but she’s dragging me down the hall and I’m letting her because, if nothing else, I can protect him from my suddenly lecherous roomies.
“They have topless maid services, you know. Hell, they even have a topless coffee shop in Maine,” Daisy argues calmly. “Those have been in existence for years, so this service is just balancing the scales. We’re actually being feminists by using it. Keeping things fair and equal.”
“I think you need to enroll in law school because that’s the best argument I’ve ever heard, even if I don’t believe a word of it,” I reply.
He’s right behind us as we enter the kitchen but he stops abruptly when the sink comes into view. It’s as gross as it was earlier and now I’m aware of the smell I must have blocked out before. The room has a faint odor of rotten vegetables and musty water. We’re lucky he’s got seventy-five percent of this face covered so we don’t have to witness his look of disgust. Even though it’s saving me from further embarrassment I question it. “Do you have to wear the costume? Can you even see in here with sunglasses on?”
He turns his head toward me but doesn’t speak. He just gives me a curt nod and walks over to the sink. There is something about the way he moves—his walk, the shape of his broad muscular shoulders and the round curve of his bubble butt…this guy doesn’t just work out to get that body. He plays a sport. Or he did. He moves like an athlete.
“We’re busy, hardworking women, cowboy, so we just don’t have time for dishes,” Jasmyn says leaning on the door frame and full-on ogling this poor dude. He glances over his shoulder at her but doesn’t seem to mind. I guess if this is his job, he’s used to it.
“Thank God a big, strong man like you is here to clean our plates,” Caroline says and it sounds so bloody cheesy even he groans. And it’s not only sexy but also familiar. I’ve heard that groan before…recently.
How have I heard that groan before?
“So are you from around here?” I ask as Daisy sits at the kitchen table, chin in her hands and stares blatantly at his ass.
He isn’t even attempting to answer me as he scrubs a pot. Caroline doesn’t like that. “You’re dressed as a cowboy, not a mute. Is talking extra or something?”
He glances over his shoulder and looks in my general direction and shakes his head.
“Okay so you’re not from here. But you must live nearby?”
“Maggie this is a cleaning service not a dating app,” Daisy says sternly. “Save your questions for your next Tinder date. Maybe next time you’ll swipe right on a cowboy instead of a cop who tells you he arrested your grandpa.”
I start to turn red again which seems to delight my sister. Caroline and Jasmyn are finally paying attention to something other than the naked hottie. “What? Your grandfather was arrested?”
“And you’re dating a cop?”
“Yes and no. I’ll explain later,” I reply and my eyes go back to the Cowboy.
“Explain now,” Jasmyn begs.
“Our asshole neighbor, George Adler, has always gone out of his way to push Clyde’s buttons and, long story short, they got into a fist fight at city hall,” I mutter. “And I found out when I went on a date with a cop.”
“I don’t even know what to say about that,” Jasmyn shakes her head. “Was the cop at least hot?”
