Her face twists for a second like I just told her something that was equal parts unbelievable and distasteful. Great. I clearly have a long way to go with her. However her face slips back into a friendly smile and she squeezes both my hands. “For the record, I hope I’m not right. Because you deserve the best guy ever. And if, sadly, I am right, I will be there to pick up all your pieces. I promise.”
“You won’t have to. I promise,” I reach across the counter and hug her.
“Cinnamon bun?”
“Three, please.”
Her eyes grow steely. “I am fighting the urge to tell you we have a one bun per customer maximum.”
“Fight hard, Cannon. I want three,” I reply and she groans, but walks over to the warmer where she keeps the buns.
I woke up this morning feeling mildly hungover but yet still better than I have in months. Holden was about to get in the shower, but I reminded him he had postponed sex. That’s all it took for him to delay his shower and make good on that rain check.
Before yesterday I knew I was done fighting the attraction I had to him. I’d made that decision the night my sisters were here and I snuck out of the cottage to be with him. But it was only yesterday, watching him coach those kids and then later enduring his sister’s skepticism, that I decided I was done fighting against the bond that we were so clearly forming.
I walk over to the coffee station and pour myself some dark roast and add hazelnut creamer. Back at the counter, Cat puts the buns in a box and rings up the total. “No discounts when I know my glorious masterpiece is headed for the belly of the enemy.”
“And his coworker,” I add with a happy smile and hand her the cash. She bites back her own grin and hands me my change.
I give her a wink, grab my goodies and head toward the door. The bells chime again as I swing it open, but I pause and turn back to her. “I promise to drop it, but let me just go out on this. I was just as skeptical and dismissive of Holden as you were. But I decided, just yesterday in fact, to believe him when he said he changed because I couldn’t deny the way he made me feel anymore.”
“You mean he’s good at sex?” Cat says. “You can’t deny the orgasms.”
“No,” I reply firmly. “I’m talking how he started making me feel pre-orgasms. Happy, safe, loved. He isn’t the same mean-spirited, dangerous asshole, because I wouldn’t be in love with him if he was. I’m a good judge of character. I like you, after all.”
Cat laughs. “Go back to your hoodlum and eat your cinnamon buns. Leave me to chew on your words of wisdom.”
“Bye!” I step out onto the sidewalk and hum as I make my way back to the cottage.
The early fall cold snap has broken and the weather is balmy and the sun is shining. Life is fucking excellent.
“You would love it here today, Dad,” I whisper to myself…and to him. The tears are ready to well up, but I don’t let them. Things are good, and that’s what he would have wanted. No tears required.
Dave and Holden are overjoyed to get the buns, and it takes away from the stress of Mike being too sick to make it today. I offer my services, since I have little else to do, but Holden declines. “You’re client adjacent, and I don’t let clients help in their own renos.”
I ask him if I can hang out in his trailer and he says yes, so I head in there and answer emails on my phone. Sadie emailed me to say she’s back and Mom was doing well. She wanted to talk about what I said to Dixie. Apparently, Dixie told Eli they should postpone the wedding, and he was not thrilled. I sigh. Right. I still have to handle that.
I call Dixie. She answers on the fourth ring. She doesn’t sound like herself when she says hello. She sounds depressed. “Listen, I was wrong,” I say immediately. “Don’t postpone the wedding.”
“Who is that?” I hear Eli ask in the background.
“It’s Winnie, and now she’s agreeing with you,” Dixie tells him and she sounds exasperated.
“Good! Now I don’t have to fly to Maine and scream at her,” Eli says loud enough that it’s perfectly clear through the phone.
“It doesn’t matter. I still think she was right,” Dixie argues and he swears.
“Dixie, you don’t,” I say. “You’re just hurting, which is logical, but postponing the wedding isn’t. Dad wouldn’t want us putting our lives on hold, especially the good parts.”
She doesn’t respond at first and through the silence I hear her sniff. My eyes instantly start to water and unlike earlier, I can’t stop them. “Dixie, I’m a mess too right now. That’s why I said something so stupid. But Dad got to give his blessing on your wedding, so you should do it. The cottage is going to look beautiful and he always hoped we’d get married here, so do it. Please. You won’t regret it. It’ll have moments of pain, but it won’t be painful. Please. Listen to me for once.”
A sob-laugh escapes her. “I always listen to you. And Sadie and even Jude, but don’t tell him.”
“And are any of them telling you not to do this?”
“No. It was just you.”
“I was wrong,” I say and wipe the tears from my eyes.
