“I’m heading back to Toronto actually.”
“Why?” she asks with a curious expression across her freckled face.
“Because I live there,” I reply, confused by her confusion. “I was only in San Fran to be with my dad. Now…I’m going back to my life.”
It doesn’t feel right when I say that and Cat must agree with me since she just looks more confused. She places the last bun in the box. “Oh. Is Sadie heading back to Canada too?”
I shake my head and watch as she closes the box and begins to tie it closed with string. “No. She’s staying in San Francisco. She’s going to live with my mom for a little while longer while Mom adjusts to…the change. And then I’m betting she’ll move in with her boyfriend. I’ll be flying solo in Canada.”
Cat hands me the box and I take it with one hand and start digging cash out of my purse with the other. She moves over to the register and freezes for a second. “Wait. What about your boyfriend? He still lives there, right?”
Right. Ty.
“Yeah. Right,” I reply and nod, letting out a weird sort of laugh, like even I think I’m silly for forgetting my longtime boyfriend. “I meant solo as in no family.”
“You guys have been together for what? Like seven or eight years, haven’t you?”
“Ten going on eleven,” I reply.
“He’s basically family then,” Cat surmises and I nod in agreement because that’s how it should feel.
I place the box on the counter and head over to the coffee stand and pour myself a large cup using an ample amount of their complimentary hazelnut-flavored creamer. When I get back to the register, the amount she’s rung up is far less than it should be.
“Locals’ discount,” Cat tells me with a smile. She’s wearing her trademark red lipstick, which looks stunning against her pale skin and nearly white-blond hair.
“I’m not a local,” I remind her. “I’m one of the dreaded summer people.”
Cat laughs. “You feel like a local to me. Your whole family does. You guys love this place as much as we do. I always thought that your mom and dad would retire here one day…I mean before.”
She looks awkward suddenly, like she thinks she said something wrong, but she didn’t. I reach across the counter and give her hand a squeeze. “I’m glad that his love of this town was so evident. Dad did want to retire here. I want to too one day.”
She smiles. “You should just move here now. Don’t wait for retirement. It’s quiet in the winter. Actually, it’s kind of a ghost town, but I’m here and we could get into all kinds of fun. Like when we were kids.”
“Oh, if only I could,” I say softly, handing her the paltry four dollars she will allow me to pay for the buns and coffee. I really am not looking forward to going back to Toronto. But the idea of going back to San Francisco is even less appealing. Dad got sick in Toronto and he died in San Francisco. Staying here…that actually sounds like something I would enjoy as much as I can enjoy anything, which is barely at all.
“You leave today?” Cat asks, and I nod so she walks around the counter and gives me a hug. “Safe travels.”
“Thanks.” I hug her back before picking up my coffee and buns and leaving. The sun is up and there’s a soft, salty ocean breeze. I inhale deeply. It’s the only thing left that still gives me the slightest sense of peace.
I get back to the house in less than two minutes and can tell, as I climb the stairs, everyone is awake now. I can hear them all talking and walking around. I step onto the porch and see Ty first.
“Hey, babe. Where did you go?” he asks.
“Buns.” He smiles, and I hand him the box, which he carries through the house to the dining room in the back.
I follow. Dixie and Eli are drinking coffee at the dining room table. My mom is in the kitchen in her bathrobe, but comes wandering in as Ty puts the buns down on the table. She smiles at me. It’s tired. “Oh Winnie, how sweet of you. Let me get the plates.”
“It’s okay, Enid,” Zoey says from her position on the floor in the sunroom playing with Declan. “I’ll get them. You just sit.”
“Who needs plates anyway?” Jude asks and gets up from the couch in the sunroom, walks to the table and immediately confiscates a bun.
Moments later we’re all gathered around the table, eating buns and talking. So much talking. The problem is that they’re talking to try and feel normal again. To force everyone forward. Past this. Past him.
“So have you set a date yet?” my mom asks Dixie and Eli.
Dixie nods. “We decided a few weeks ago that we’d get married next year. July first.”
“Canada Day?” Sadie says with a smile. “Good choice. And it gives you almost a year to plan.”
