He reaches out and puts his hand over mine on the edge of his bed. “I’m proud of all my kids for following their hearts and doing what they love. It wouldn’t matter if Jude was a fourth-line player on a farm team or if you were still an intern. If you’re giving it your all and passionate about what you do, that makes me proud.”
I nod and drop my other hand on top of his, sandwiching it between mine. His skin feels thin and his hand is cold. “I’m great at what I do.” I pause and find myself admitting to him something I haven’t even admitted to myself yet. “But I’m not sure I’m passionate about it anymore.”
Wow. It feels good to say that. I hadn’t realized how much this has been weighing on me until I finally said it out loud.
“Really?” my dad asks, obviously a little bit shocked.
“I went in there thinking I could change the culture,” I explain quietly. “And maybe I could, after a couple hundred more years. But now I feel like there’s things I’d have to give up that are worth more than the job, you know?”
I tilt my head to look right at him. He doesn’t look disappointed at all. He just nods and squeezes my hand under his. His grip is still strong and calms me. “Then move on. I want you to smile about your job the way you smile about that mystery boy.”
I laugh. “Is that your way of trying to get me to talk about him again?”
“Maybe.” He laughs and it turns into a cough.
“Rest, Daddy,” I command as my mom walks back into the room.
He has some of the water she brought him and closes his eyes. He starts to snore lightly, and a few minutes later Jude and Zoey appear at the door. I get up and offer Zoey my seat. She gives me a quick hug before sitting down.
Jude walks over and hugs Mom and whispers. “Everything good?”
“He still seems to be on the mend, thankfully,” Mom tells him. “Did you book your flight back to the team?”
“I leave tonight,” Jude says and he looks and sounds upset about it.
Mom pats his cheek. “Honey, he wants you to play. He’s out of the woods, and if that changes, I will call you immediately.”
“I know.” He still doesn’t seem convinced.
“I’m going to work tomorrow too,” I say to make him feel better. “I have a meeting at the ALS Foundation, and then I’ll spend the entire day in the office because he wants me to. You know how he hates disrupting our lives.”
He nods. I tell them I’m going to head home. Jude says he’ll walk me to the elevator. As soon as we’re out of the room he says, “So, Casco, huh?”
“Yeah. I mean, not right now, but yeah.” I try not to sound as awkward as I feel. My comfort zone around my brother is being annoying and bossy, not serious and vulnerable.
He pushes the button for the elevator and then leans against the wall across from it. His eyes land on mine. “You’ve got some pretty complicated choices to make.”
I nod. “I do.”
“Well, I just want you to know that I support you, no matter what.”
He’s being so damn sweet I can’t handle it. The last few days have been way too emotional already. So I give him my best smartass smile. “Good, because when it all goes to hell and I’m jobless and penniless, I am totally moving in with you. I can be a nanny for your little girl.”
The elevator doors open, and I jump in and hit the Close button, but I still hear him call out, “It’s a boy!”
26
Elijah
She looks amazing. It’s just a plain, short-sleeved navy dress. It’s not even tight or clingy. And a pair of low-heeled brown leather boots that hit at her knee. Somehow, though, what might look like librarian wear on someone else looks sexy as fuck on my Dixie. Which is why I don’t make eye contact when she walks into the locker room. “Great job, boys! Fifteen-minute media scrum, and then hustle through the shower because the bus to Ms. Bateman’s is parked outside ready and waiting.”
She marches out. I steal a glance at her perfect ass as it swings out the door. Levi nudges me. “You might want to wipe that drool from the corner of your mouth before someone sees it, little brother.”
I glance over at him and smirk guiltily. It’s nice to have him in the loop—and Jude too. It’s been three days since the hospital talk. I’m trying to get used to this weird holding pattern Dixie and I are in and not to dwell on how much it sucks, because there’s nothing I can do to change it. Jasper was called up last week when one of our forwards broke his foot blocking a puck, and they put him in the same hotel as me, on the same floor. I love Jasper and I’m happy to have him here and be playing with him again, and he’s a welcome distraction that keeps me from thinking about my romantic limbo.
“You like having a car again?” Levi asks me, because Jasper also drove my car up.
“Yeah. Definitely beats begging you for lifts.”
