“Coach says I don’t have to be back until Sunday afternoon practice.”
“So Julie is local?”
“Yeah.”
He seems to think about it. “Tessa is there, remember, so don’t bring your girl there and make a shit ton of sex noises.”
I laugh. “No sex noises. Julie has her own place. I just need a place for my bag.” I think about it. Dixie doesn’t know I’m coming. She might have plans or maybe not want a round two…especially after what I have to say, but I have to try.
He smirks. “I’ll let Tessa know. You still have your key?” I nod. “Here’s hoping you just need it for your bag. Oh, and wear a condom.”
“What? Yeah! Of course. Shut up.”
He laughs deeply, waves to both of us and heads out the door.
“Casco is intense, Casco,” Jasper says and leans back in his chair.
“Yeah. I know.” I grab my phone and start texting Dixie. “I didn’t really want him to know about Julie yet.”
“Why not?” he asks as we both grab our jackets and get ready to leave.
“Because it’s complicated, and I’m honestly not sure how she feels about things,” I explain as we make our way to the door.
“Are you kidding me? You two have been texting each other a billion times a day for over a week,” Jasper says as we step out into the blustery late October morning, the streets much more bustling than they were before. “What happened last night? Was the sex bad?”
“Fuck no. Far from it.” I button up my coat and try not to groan because we’ve started climbing that damn mountain of a hill. “It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“So…?”
I look at Jasper and then shrug. “It’s complicated.”
“Yeah. You said that. I get it. She’s here and you’re in Sacramento, but not forever,” Jasper reminds me. “But it could be worse. She’s not your teammate’s girlfriend. I mean, ex-girlfriend, or any of that other shit that Levi mentioned. Holy smokes this hill is a bitch.”
“Yeah, the hill is a bitch,” I huff. I take a minute to get up the thing before adding, “And you know Levi’s right about those rules he listed. But he also broke them intentionally, and it all turned out okay.”
I don’t know why I’m saying these words out loud. They’re not for Jasper, they’re for me. “I’m betting if you asked Tessa, Levi and Jude, they’d do it exactly the same if doing it differently meant the results would be different.”
“True.” Jasper checks his phone for the time. “My flight is in a couple hours, and I want to catch a nap before I pack.”
I nod and follow him into the hotel. “I’m just going to throw my stuff in my suitcase and head to Levi’s. See you back at our apartment tomorrow before practice.”
“Sure thing. Good luck, buddy.” Jasper smiles. “She’s lucky to have you.”
I grin. “I hope she feels that way.”
Inside my room I stare at my screen. She hasn’t responded to my text. Weird. She’s always pretty snappy. Up until last night I thought she slept with her phone in her hand. I’m beginning to worry my text was too typical for us. Like I should have sent something better—something more—after last night. Maybe I should have sent something other than Hey my name’s Microsoft, can I crash at your place tonight?
But seriously, what am I supposed to say? Sex with you just made me like you more. I want to have a secret long-distance affair while I’m in Sacramento because I can’t quit you. Are you in?
I mean, even that isn’t really the truth. Sex with Dixie was fantastic, but being with Dixie in general was amazing. I could have stayed there last night and watched her sleep until dawn. She looks like an angel when she sleeps. I know this can’t go on forever, but it can go on a little longer, and I need it to. I hope she does too.
8
Dixie
I’m fighting back tears that are so intense my nose burns and my eyes sting profusely. I refuse to look at my sisters or my mother and concentrate on my dad—just his face. Just look at his face and nowhere else. “Daddy!”
I bend and he lifts his arms and engulfs me the way only he can. It always makes me feel safe and loved, even now. Oh God, I’m going to lose him. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Do. Not. Think. “You look too thin, Little D. Have you been eating?” he asks.
