I smile at her snarky comment and force my jaw to relax. “I really fucking hate sticking my life out there, but I thought if I had to do it I might as well bring them to one of my volunteer shifts at Daphne’s. I can turn the exposure I hate into exposure you need and make it bearable.”
“Are you serious?” she asks, excitement filling her voice. “That’s national exposure.”
“I know. So that’s a yes?”
“That is a yes!” She kisses me and then drops down onto my chest.
“Are you going to tell them why you volunteer here?” she asks quietly a moment later.
“Maybe. I don’t know,” I confess. “I’ll see if it feels right at the time.”
She snuggles closer and I start to trail my fingers up and down her back. This is our thing. We lie like this after sex for an hour, sometimes more, and then eventually I go home. I haven’t had a nightmare in a while—almost two weeks—but I still worry. I run my fingers through her long, silky hair, playing with the ends before dropping them and sliding through it again. My body is particularly wrecked after the game and the sex. I yawn. I need to head home soon, but she’s just so warm and soft and there’s something soothing about running my fingers through her hair…the last thing I remember is blinking.
“Babe?” Her voice is raspy and filled with sleep. “Alex?”
I must be dreaming. I feel her hand on my shoulder. She squeezes it softly. “Alex, I have to get up and make sure Mac gets off to school.”
My eyes flutter open. “What?”
Morning light floods through the windows. I sit up quickly, startled. She looks worried. “I slept over?”
“You slept over,” she confirms. “I didn’t even realize it. I fell asleep and when I woke up, you were still here.”
I glance at the small digital clock on her nightstand. It’s ten to seven. Holy shit. She slips out of bed and grabs her robe off the back of the door. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I nod and blink. I can’t believe it. I’m flooded with relief and happiness.
She walks over and runs a hand through my bed-head and smiles. “Just so you know, even if you have a nightmare, it’ll be okay.”
“I’m beginning to think you’re right,” I reply.
She leans down and kisses me quickly. I cup the back of her head so she can’t pull away and I kiss her again and then I tell her something that’s been on my mind for a while now. “And just so you know, whether you carry that gene or not, it’ll be okay too.”
I drop my hand and she stands up her beautiful face swirling with ugly emotions—fear, shock, maybe even a little anger. I stand up and reach for her hand. “It’ll be okay because I’m not having kids so I won’t leave them alone.”
“Sweetheart you have a kid,” I remind her softly. “You’re the closest thing to a good mother Mac will probably ever know, so you bet when you go, no matter how or when, she’ll mourn you the same as any biological kid now.”
She looks so pained, but I know this is a conversation we have to have. “Are you saying this because you want kids or something?”
“I just want you to know I’ve been reading up on this. Even if you have the gene, it doesn’t mean you’re going to get sick and people get cancer without the gene too.” I pull her into my arms and press my lips to her head for a moment before speaking again. At first the idea that she might be taken from me sent a cold flash of fear right through me. But I realized that it was a risk I had to take. I wasn’t going to walk away from the only woman I’ve ever loved—who has ever loved me—because of a what if. Any time with her was better than no time with her. “I’m saying this because I want you, kids or no kids, and whether you get the test results or you don’t, I’m always going to be here for you. You’re stuck with me.”
There’s a thump down the hall and then Mac’s voice bellows through the apartment. “Brie! Have you seen my backpack?”
Brie steps out of my arms and gives me a shaky smile. “Are you okay?”
She nods. “I am. I promise.”
She slips out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. I lie back and stare at her ceiling. I feel this overwhelming sense of peace, which is crazy because when I look at my life now, it’s like I’m a different person. I don’t even recognize myself anymore…but it’s no longer terrifying. It’s incredible.
Chapter 26
Alex
Are there always so many fucking people involved in this type of thing?” I growl as Luc and I watch ten people zip around the sidewalk carrying camera equipment.
“You act like you’ve never been on camera before.” Luc grabs my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. He saw how stressed out I was at the Barons family skate with the camera crew and producer following me around. I think he felt bad for me so he stopped by to see how I was doing while we film the final segment here at Daphne’s House. “You’ve done probably about four hundred postgame interviews in the locker room. Remember that.”
I shrug and run a hand through my hair, which makes the hair lady frown. I give her a quick apologetic smile. “In the locker room I’m in my element. I’m comfortable.”
