“Yeah.”
“I’m going to head home,” Len announces from behind me and I feel her give my shoulders a squeeze. “Happy birthday.”
Mackenzie looks up at Len and her eyes start to water and she looks away. A minute later I hear the front door close. I lean against the archway, suddenly exhausted. “Why would you do this?”
Alex stands up and reaches for me as he glances over at Mac, who is staring at the floor. “Tell her what you told me,” he demands before pulling me off the wall and giving me a strong, warm hug and kissing the top of my head as he gently pushes me down into the chair he vacated across from Mackenzie.
“Mac,” Alex says her name sharply. “Tell her what you told me.”
“I couldn’t do this fucking birthday thing,” she says in a choked voice. “You made a fucking cake and you were all going to get me presents and there’s no point. I don’t know what’s going to happen down the road, but chances are at some point I won’t have a house and I’ll probably end up pawning whatever nice shit you give me because I’m not going to get into Daphne’s House. Not anytime soon and you’ve got him now, and you’ll want to get your life back and be a normal couple. You’re too young to have a kid like me. You were just doing him a favor probably because you liked him. And now you’re, like, together which is great because you’re both awesome, but I’m a third wheel and the stupid asshole judge won’t let you put me in Daphne’s House and I don’t have anywhere to go. I stayed up all night worrying and then I realized I needed to just go. I shouldn’t hang around because it was just going to make it worse. So I left…”
“You created a whole shitload of drama in that head of yours, Mac,” Alex says.
“I told you, it’s not drama. It’s fucking fact.”
“Language!” I bark and she looks stunned by that, like the rules suddenly don’t apply. I reach across the table and grab her hand. “Are you happy here?”
“What?”
“With me. In this house. Are you happy?”
Her tiny shoulders lift toward her ears and then drop. “I hate school, but I always hate school wherever I go and I’m too young to drop out yet, so it is what it is. But I finally like coming home from school. I mean…you aren’t mean or high and the rules aren’t stupid.”
“Because I love having you here and I want you to stay.” I squeeze her hand under mine. “If you’re okay with it, I think we should decide to forget talking to the judge about Daphne’s until next year, when you’re sixteen. He’s more likely to let you live there then anyway. And so let’s both agree to keep this arrangement and we can discuss it again next year. Discuss. Together. Do not assume you know what I’m thinking and make a decision on your own, okay?”
She nods, but she looks skeptical. The scar weaving its way through the caramel skin of her forearm catches my eye. I lean farther forward and lay my hand over it. “Here’s a little secret I haven’t told you. The only kids I ever intend to have are foster kids. Now granted, I didn’t expect to have one so soon, but I adore you, Mac. I’m happy with this. With you.”
She tears up again but quickly brushes them away with the back of her hand.
“I told you, you big dummy,” Alex says to her, trying to be lighthearted but his voice is thick.
Mac gets up and leans into me, hugging me tightly. Every single fiber of my being warms like it’s in the hot summer sun. “Go to bed.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers before she pulls away.
“Get some sleep because we have a birthday do-over in the morning,” I say and watch her disappear from the room. Then I cover my face with my hands and exhale a shuddering breath. I feel Alex’s hands under my elbows and he pulls me to my feet and into his arms.
“I didn’t know you don’t want to have biological kids,” he murmurs against the top of my head. I try not to bristle because I can’t decipher his tone and that makes me nervous.
I look up at him. “Ovarian cancer and breast cancer can be caused by a gene mutation that can be passed on to children. Even though my grandmother died of ovarian cancer and had the mutation, my mom didn’t get tested.”
“And she had it.”
“She did and she died.”
He studies my face and I can see the color drain from his. “And you have it?”
“I was tested.” I pause and feel that familiar sense of frustration. “And then I decided I didn’t want the results yet, so I never picked them up from my doctor’s office. I’m a coward like my mom. I want to live in oblivion. But I’m smarter about it because I’m not going to orphan any kids if I do have it and get sick.” He looks at me with a strange expression I can’t read, and I’m too exhausted to try. “I need sleep.”
“Me too. I have to meet with those stupid producers tomorrow,” he tells me and keeps his arm wrapped around me so I’m snugly tucked under his shoulder as we walk downstairs to the front door.
I hesitate as we reach the front hall. “You can stay. It’s got to happen eventually so why not tonight?”
He shakes his head. “No, baby, not tonight.”
I feel a wave of disappointment, but I’m too tired to convince him with words so I just tilt my head up and kiss him. I think I meant for it to be a gentle, quick gesture but as soon as my lips press to his, he takes control and his intentions aren’t subtle. His tongue finds mine and with that one hand wrapped around my waist, he lifts me off the ground and walks us back toward my bedroom, his mouth never leaving mine.
Chapter 21
