“So don’t settle down,” Len says with a shrug. “Keep it casual.”
I take a long slow breath and even though I might regret admitting this, I tell her a truth I have barely admitted to myself. “I don’t do that kind of thing. I have nothing against it I just can’t. I can’t turn off my feelings.”
Her big blue eyes somehow get even bigger and she starts gripping my upper arm again. “Are you falling for him?”
“No. But he has this side of him I’ve seen a few times, like with Mac, that’s way more appealing than the cocky, flirty side he shows everyone,” I confess. “I think I could develop feelings for that Alex and that’s not a good idea. He’s…not ready for that and probably never will be and even if he was, it probably wouldn’t be with me. He thinks I’m some spoiled brat.”
She looks confused. “So tell him about your childhood. Pre-Bennetts.”
“You know I don’t really talk about that,” I remind her. “It upsets my mom when I bring it up. You can literally see her heart breaking.”
“So don’t tell him in front of your mom,” Len says with a shrug. “Are you worried he’ll be like Vic and think it makes you somehow less?”
“No. I know Alex won’t react like that,” I tell her. “But I don’t like to bring it up with just anyone.”
“Yeah, but if you’ve got feelings for him, he’s not just anyone.” Len looks excited and I know I have to squash that hope before she gets carried away.
“I said I don’t have feelings for him,” I remind her. “I’m trying to avoid developing them.”
Len looks undeterred. “But he’s kind of like a friend now, right?”
I think about all the phone conversations when he was on his trip and how they easily morphed from talking about Mac to talking about ourselves. I found myself looking forward to hearing his voice. Because of that I can’t help but give Len a nod of confirmation.
“So confide in him as a friend,” Len suggests. “He’ll definitely stop thinking of you as a spoiled, rich princess. And it will probably bring you closer. I mean your friendship.”
She uses her fingers to make air quotes when she says “friendship.” Her not-so-subtle way of telling me she’s still holding out for some star-crossed lovers action. I give her yet another eye roll. She has a bit of a point. Telling Alex about my own foster care experience might change the way he sees me. But then again, it might make him resent me more. I got the life he was never offered. A safe home and loving parents.
The lights dim and the crowd gets to its feet as the players funnel onto the ice, music blaring, fans cheering. I spend the entire game watching Alex. My eyes refuse to leave him whether he’s on the ice or sitting on the bench waiting for his shift. He looks incredible out there. He skates so fast and hits so hard. One minute he’s all aggression and the next the supportive, jubilant teammate, like when someone scores. By the time the game is over, the crush I’m not supposed to have on him is bigger. I really should not have come tonight.
As the players leave the ice, he stays at the bench and finally turns toward us and waves and smiles at the group. His eyes sweep over our row but they stop short of meeting mine. I know it’s on purpose. He waves Len closer to the glass instead of me, which stings a little. Okay, a lot. She leans in and I pull out my phone and pretend I am checking texts or emails or something. Better than staring at him longingly while he ignores me.
I look back up as I see Len straighten out of my peripheral vision. Alex is heading down the tunnel and Len is grinning as she turns to the kids. “You guys want to see the locker room?”
There’s a resounding yes out of every single one of them. “Alex said we can come down. Follow me.”
Len starts up the stairs to the main concourse. She’s so excited she’s bouncing more than walking. “I wonder if any of his teammates are single?”
I laugh. “Len, this isn’t your own personal Tinder.”
“Why not? Romance can strike anywhere.”
She’s adorable in her wide-eyed optimism. I, on the other hand am feeling the burn from being ignored by Alex and am debating even going down with them to locker room. It stung enough being ignored by him with Plexiglas between us.
Everyone piles into the elevator but I don’t move. Mackenzie looks at me, her face is so excited. She looks happier than I’ve seen her since I met her. I know if I don’t go with them it might disrupt this moment for her and I don’t want to do that so I step into the elevator.
Len gives her name to the security guard standing in front of the steel door when we get off. He checks a list and then counts us and nods, opening the door. We’re suddenly in a long concrete curving hall and there’s another security guard smiling at us. He doesn’t take us to the locker room though; he puts us in a room with leather couches, big screen TVs and a long buffet table filled with fruit, chips and candy. Of course, every single one of the kids head straight for it.
“Don’t go crazy just because it’s free!” Len calls out.
“Mr. Larue will be here in a minute to start your tour,” the guard tells us and disappears. There’s a few other people in the room. Mostly beautiful modelesque woman who must be girlfriends. Although some are wearing giant rings so I assume they’re wives. A couple are chasing toddlers or holding babies. On a couch in the corner I recognize Rose from the party. She’s sitting with two other women.
I walk over to say hi, hoping it’ll distract me from the uneasiness in my gut about facing Alex. She looks up as I approach and her face bursts into a smile as she stands. “Brie!”
She pulls me into a hug. “Hi. Alex gave the kids at Daphne’s House tickets and I tagged along.”
“That’s awesome.” Rose turns to the women she was sitting with. “These are my sisters, Callie and Jessie. Their husbands play on the team too.”
“Wow!” I can’t help but blurt out. “That’s got to be uncommon, you all with hockey players on the same team.”
