I don’t know how long I’m staring vacantly at my computer screen, but it’s a long time, because when I lift my latte to my lips again it’s cold. I decide to break the company rules and call Sebastian. I need to tell him about this offer. I need to talk it through with someone, and he’s my best choice right now. I don’t want to bother Maddie. She’s too close to it. And I can’t tell Avery because…I don’t know what the hell I am to him or, quite frankly, what he is to me right now.
I dig my phone out of my purse and start to dial Seb’s number when my office phone buzzes. It’s reception. I hit speaker. “Mr. Archer’s desk, Stephanie speaking.”
“Stephanie, there’s an Avery Westwood here to see you.”
Oh, my God, he’s at my work. I stand up and lean toward the phone. “I’ll be right out.”
I turn to my boss’s office door and call over my shoulder. “I’m running a quick errand, Mr. Archer. I’ll be back in fifteen.”
“Okay,” he calls back as I walk as quickly as I can without looking like an idiot toward the front of the building. I’m feeling panicky and emotional, and I don’t like it. Still, I’m glad he showed up here unexpectedly, because I feel like it’s a good sign. He wouldn’t come all this way if he hated me, right? Oh, God, please let me be right.
I turn the corner in the hall and walk into the lobby. Avery is in jeans and a wrinkled T-shirt, his sunglasses still on, despite being inside. Letitia is typing at her computer behind the reception desk, but her eyes are glued to him. He’s chosen to lean against the wall instead of sit in one of our white leather Barcelona chairs. I can’t help but admire the lean, strong angles of his body and the golden glow the California sun has given his skin. His dark hair is perfectly mussed. He turns his head and spots me standing there. Pushing himself off the wall, he takes a couple steps toward me.
“Hi. Sorry to show up like this.”
“It’s okay,” I say quietly. I turn to Letitia, who is still staring. “I’m going to grab a coffee. I have my cell if anyone needs me.”
She nods. Avery gives her a half smile and her face explodes in a smile. I’m almost one hundred percent certain she doesn’t know he’s a professional athlete. She just thinks he’s hot. Because he is. He’s hot, and funny, and sexy and…probably not mine for much longer.
We walk wordlessly to the elevator and step inside when it opens, standing on opposite sides like strangers. The doors swoosh closed and the car quietly slides downward. I wish he would take off his sunglasses. I want to see his eyes.
“I talked to Larue,” he says quietly, but it fills the metal boxlike space.
“I didn’t sleep with him,” I say calmly.
“I know.”
The doors open; he waits for me to exit and follows behind. I head through the small marble lobby and out the doors into the sunshine. Traffic is whipping by and feels louder than normal. He must agree, because he starts to walk around my building to the quieter side street. I follow. He’s parked at the first meter on the street, next to a towering palm tree. He sits on the hood of his car, feet on the curb, and I stand across from him, my back against the palm.
“Why did you think he and I…you know?” I can’t help but ask. “Did you see him leave or something?”
He shakes his head and then scratches the stubble on his jaw. “I took you up on your offer to come see you as soon as I got home. I used the spare key like you told me to. I saw you two together in bed.”
“Oh,” is all I can say. I shake my head. “I didn’t know I was in bed with him. I was upset and drunk, and I think I passed out.”
He nods. “I know. Should you be drinking like that? Until you pass out?”
“No, but should anybody?” I reply. “And it’s only the first time in my life I’ve done it. I won’t be doing it again.”
“Do you need to…” He looks so uncomfortable right now and it’s breaking my heart. “I don’t know…talk to someone or something?”
“I’ve been clean for over five years, Avery. And it wasn’t alcohol; it was pills. Don’t be an asshole,” I say quietly. And it’s true. Last night was dumb and I know that. I have no urge to do it again. No matter what happens here with him.
He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down at the grass. “I don’t know how this works. I don’t know what you can and can’t do. I don’t know what I should worry about.”
“You should worry about whatever you worried about before you found out,” I reply, trying not to sound harsh.
This is exactly what I never wanted—from Avery or any person I fell in love with. I didn’t want them to look at me differently. “This can’t change the way you think about me or feel about me.”
We both stop talking and just stare at each other. I feel like I might cry again, only this time I’m not sure why…and I’m not sure I want to know why. I think my soul knows something inherently that my brain hasn’t caught up to yet.
“But it does.” His voice is deeper than normal. Thicker. Filled with something…something painful. “You lied to me about it.”
Those words physically hurt. They’re heavy and they press down painfully on my chest. “I never lied. I avoided mentioning it, but I never lied.”
“We don’t know each other as well as I thought we did,” he finally says, crossing his arms over his chest.
What is he doing? Is he…breaking up with me?
