“I’m not ashamed. I’m proud I got through it,” I tell him—what I’ve always said. What I’ve always believed. But somehow…the words don’t hold the weight they used to. “But that doesn’t mean I have to emotionally vomit everything at everyone all the time. Hey! Look at me! I’m a survivor. I was in the bell jar and found my way out.”
Sebastian tosses the last bite of burrito in the garbage and startles me by grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. “You’re worrying me, Stephanie. This thing with Avery is worrisome.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”
“He’s not an easy person. He’s constantly under pressure, and I’ve watched him make some harsh decisions because of his public image. It’s like he spends his life in between a rock and a hard place, you know?” Sebastian explains, and when he lets me go I nod. “The thing he hates more than anything is being blindsided—on the ice and off—so don’t blindside him. Your past shouldn’t matter to him. But…if it does, wouldn’t you rather know that now, before it gets too serious?”
“You think he might break up with me because of it?” My voice it high and weak, cracking on the last few words. My brother is voicing my biggest fear. The one I’ve had all along. The reason I didn’t want to get involved with Avery and the reason I didn’t tell him the minute we got involved.
“I know him well enough to know he doesn’t make the same mistake twice,” he replies. I know he’s referring to the fact that Avery once abandoned Shayne’s brother when he was going through rehab. Sebastian hugs me again. “I like to believe he’s honestly a good guy. But I also know trust isn’t something he gives lightly. He trusts you, and by not telling him everything you’re kind of lying to him. If he hears it from someone else first, he’ll feel betrayed.”
“No one knows.”
“Shay knows and Trey and Jordan and Jessie and—”
“I’ll tell him,” I promise, and Sebastian glances at the clock on the stove.
“I’ve got to get back to the hotel. We’re leaving in an hour. Busing it to Los Angeles.” He kisses my forehead and then musses my hair, causing half of it to fall out of the ponytail.
I yank out the elastic and follow him to the door. “Give my love to the Seattle gang. Especially my future sister-in-law.”
His whole face lights up at that comment, which warms my heart. He steps out onto the porch and glances at Avery’s door. “Let me know if you need me to introduce his face to the ice. I bet it would be kind of fun.”
“Sebastian!”
He just shrugs innocently and gives me a wink before adding, “I love you. If you need me, just call.”
“Je t’aime aussi, petit frère.”
Chapter 26
Avery
I glance at the phone in my lap one more time. Still no message from Stephanie. I texted Jordan on my way to the hotel to meet my dad to find out when their bus to L.A. left, and he said eleven. It’s almost one now, so whatever confrontation or conversation Steph had with Seb is well over. I thought she’d get in touch with me by now.
“Avery!” Don snaps in my face. I hate when he does that. It’s been his go-to move since I was a kid and I used to zone out while he taught me about set plays and shooting trajectories. When I was a hormonal, bitchy teenager I used to have to clench my fists to keep from slapping him out of my face. Today I just sigh.
“Sorry, Don, I’m expecting a text.” I reluctantly shove my phone in my pocket and force myself to focus on the sketches on the laptop screen in front of me. They’re of the newly redesigned clothing line.
“As I was saying, I think they got it right this time. The clothes are functional but fun,” Don explains, and points out one top in particular. “Look at the colors and pattern on this. It’s flirty and fun but also something you could actually do CrossFit or something in.”
I look up at him and bite back a smile. “Did you just say flirty and fun?”
His perpetually solemn face breaks into an uncharacteristic smile. “Your sister’s words when she saw the designs. But I thought they were fitting.”
I smile. “Yeah. They are. I’ll approve this.”
The designers implemented every single ounce of the feedback I gave them, most of which were Steph’s ideas. I can’t wait to tell her. Don shuts the laptop and sits back in his seat, picking up his drink, which I think is some kind of kale smoothie. We’re sitting on the patio at the restaurant in his hotel. We’ve been going over business for almost two hours. Since we’re playing again tonight, I really need to get home and start my pregame rituals, which include taking a nap, then heating up some chicken parmesan that I have delivered weekly from an Italian place nearby, followed by a blue Gatorade on the way to the game.
“So that’s it for now? Because I have to get back.”
Don looks perplexed. “To follow your ritual or find that girl who isn’t texting you?”
“Stephanie,” I say. “Her name is Stephanie. If you’re coming to the game tonight, you’ll probably meet her, so I suggest you write that down somewhere.”
Don frowns. “Don’t get flip.”
I stand up. “So I’ll see you tonight?”
