I was already down the hallway, duffel bag slung over my shoulder, when Eric caught up with me.“The cabin’s over three hours away.You’re not thinking clearly.At least let me drive you.”
I shook him off.“Don’t touch me.You never get to touch me again, Eric.”
I hurried out of the apartment building and got into my car.As I tried to leave, he got in front of my vehicle and stopped me.
“Mia!Stop acting like this!Go back inside and we can discuss this like adults.”
“Get out of my way or I’m going to run you over, Eric.”
He smirked.“No, you won’t.”
I saw red.
Eric must have seen something shift in my expression because his eyes widened.He backed up and out of the path of my vehicle, just before I gunned it and peeled out of the parking lot.
* * *
The drive was a blur.I’d called the nice lady at the cabin rental place and she said I could check in early.I figured if I’d already paid for the reservation, I might as well get the most out of it.And fuck Eric anyway!The interstate stretched before me, my hands gripping the steering wheel too tightly, the speedometer creeping higher with each mile.My phone buzzed repeatedly in the passenger seat.Eric, then Jade, then Eric again.Yeah.No.Not fucking happening.What a fucking night.
When I finally pulled into the driveway of the cabin I’d rented, I sat there -- not really sure if I wanted to get out or go somewhere else and start apartment hunting.I did not look forward to finding a new place.
The interior and exterior cabin lights welcomed me with a cheerfulness that felt artificial and mocking.This was supposed to be a lovers’ week away.The small A-frame sat silhouetted against the darkening sky, exactly as pictured on the rental website where I’d booked our romantic getaway.My hands shook as I reached for the instructions I’d received from the rental company with the key code for the door.With a sigh, I got out of the car and headed toward the cabin.
The door creaked open to reveal knotty pine walls and a stone fireplace, a large window framing the silver gleam of a lake beyond.Our romantic retreat.My lonely refuge.I stepped inside and locked the door behind me.
An hour later, I sat cross-legged on the cabin’s plush rug, back against the couch, drinking Cabernet straight from the bottle.The wine was meant for our first night here, a special vintage Eric loved.Fucker.
The phone buzzed in my hand.Eric calling.Again.I watched his name flash across my screen.The buzzing stopped.Seven missed calls now.Three voicemails.Thirteen text messages.
Fucker.
Almost immediately, the phone buzzed again.Jade this time.My thumb hovered over the screen.What could she possibly have to say?That she was sorry?That it meant nothing?That I should understand?
“Fuck you,” I whispered, pressing the power button until the screen went black.I hurled the phone across the room where it landed on a chair cushion.
I drained the wine bottle and stumbled to the bedroom.The king-size bed loomed, its white duvet like a blank canvas stretched too large for a single body.I collapsed onto it fully clothed, then rolled to one side.Yeah, I wouldn’t say I was wasted, exactly, but I’d finished off a bottle of wine in the space of a couple hours while I sat and let my new reality wash over me.Getting an apartment needed to be at the top of my list of things to do.
Later.I’d worry about everything later.Right now, though, I needed to sleep off the alcohol.
Sleep came in jagged fragments broken more than once by dreams.Around three in the morning, I gave up.I wrapped myself in a throw blanket from the foot of the bed and padded out to the porch.
The night air carried the sharp scent of pine and the earthy dampness of the lake.A nearly full moon hung above the tree line, casting silver light across the water’s surface, creating ripples of brightness that shifted with each breeze.I curled up under the blanket into an Adirondack chair.
How had I been so blind?The late nights at work.The suddenly password-protected phone.The way he’d stopped initiating sex months ago.Classic signs straight from an “Is Your Partner Cheating?”quiz in some women’s magazine.I had an EdD -- Doctor of Education for nonacademic people -- and was a reading specialist for early elementary-age children.I took research principles for helping kids learn to read and comprehend advanced works and applied them in the real world, and I was damned good at that.Yet I’d completely missed that my boyfriend was sleeping with my best friend.
And Jade.My throat tightened.We’d met in a special education seminar.Shared an apartment junior and senior year of university.She’d held my hair back while I puked when I drank too much after my first serious breakup.I’d helped her study for the LSAT.We’d joked about being each other’s maids of honor someday.She’d finished her law degree and joined Eric’s firm while I’d become the best reading teacher in Middle Tennessee.
Now I had no idea who she was.Who either of them were.Or who I was, for that matter.Well, other than the woman who’d lived in ignorant bliss with two rat traitors.
* * *
Morning came with harsh sunlight and a pounding headache.I made coffee in the French press I’d packed, forcing myself to drink it black though I normally loaded it with cream.The bitter taste matched my mood.
I found hiking boots in the bottom of my duffel and laced them with sharp, angry tugs.A hike.That’s what I needed.Movement.Exhaustion.Anything to quiet the loop of images playing in my mind.And yeah.The image of Eric’s bare back, Jade’s legs wrapped around him, their twin expressions of annoyance at being caught occupied my brain and had been seared into my optic nerve.
The trail behind the cabin started gently enough but soon rose steeply into the mountains.I pushed myself, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I climbed.Sweat soaked my T-shirt and plastered my hair to my neck.Good.I wanted to hurt physically.Wanted my muscles to scream louder than my thoughts.
Branches whipped my arms as I veered off the main trail, following a narrower path that descended toward the sound of water.Towering pines crowded the path, their dense canopy stealing the sunlight while thorny undergrowth clawed at my legs with each step.I leaned into this battle against nature, grateful for how it demanded my complete attention, leaving no room for thoughts of betrayal.At least, for a while.
