“You know very well I’ll eat later, love,” he says.
I don’t miss the flush blooming on her cheeks or the subtle smirk playing on his lips as he looks at her. Then, he’s gone.
My sister-in-law clears her throat as she struggles to bring back her attention.
“The cook made…um…beef stroganoff. And blini for dessert—ever had it? It’s my favorite,” she says.
I shake my head, my bob tickling my cheeks as I look around the room aimlessly. I’m not really in the mood for conversation. But instead of getting up to leave like I usually do, I tell myself it’s better to stay, to force myself to be around people if need be. I refuse to let myself stay in this mood any longer.
“He’ll come back, you know. He always does,” she offers, her lips pressed together.
Shrugging, I pick up a piece of bread and rip a small bite.
“Of course he will,” I say. “Just not for me.”
I peer down at the blue diamond on my finger, a buzz of electricity coursing through me as I remember him in that club, feasting on my mouth with slow, languid strokes of that expert tongue.
“Trust me,” Victoria adds. “Even Wolf saw how different he has been since he brought you here. Mikhail cares about you too much. I think that might be his problem.”
“I don’t understand him,” I say. “One minute he’s hot, and then he’s cold, acting like he doesn’t even know me. I thought we were finally past that phase.”
A housekeeper brings me a plate of warm food, placing it in front of me. “Thank you.”
“You know, when I first got here,” Victoria says, “I thought he wanted to hurt me so he could get to Wolf. They fought over their father’s business, over who would becomePakhannext. But in the end…Mikhail wasn’t this monster he led everyone to believe. In fact, he was the only one who had my back, even though, to him, I was practically a stranger.” Victoria leans back in her chair under the dim lights of the table candles and chandeliers. “I don’t know what exactly haunts him, but I do know he looks at you like he can’t believe you’re real.”
I reach my hand out to her, and she takes it, squeezing lightly.
Victoria has been so good to me since I got here. She values my opinion and acts as if she, too, sees a friend in me. Usually, with Ms. Donatello, we always did things her way, and in the rare cases I disagreed—like with the wedding dress—she gave me the cold shoulder. I love my mentor, but it’s nice to have someone around my age be interested in my friendship.
“You’ll be fine,” Victoria says, rubbing my hand. “One day soon, when he gets his head out of his ass, he’ll hate himself for all the time you two lost. That’s exactly whathetold me when Wolf and I were going through a rough patch.”
My brow rises. I do wonder what happened in this house after she was forced to marry Wolfgang. God knows what she had to endure with no one by her side. If Mikhail was there for her, he must deeply care about his family, even if he chooses to put on this reckless façade.
Ugh. I don’t want another reason to think positively about him.
After dinner, Victoria and I curl up on the couch in the living room, streaming a Christmas movie on her laptop. With the fireplace burning nearby, warm cups of chocolate in our hands, and the snow piling up outside, I’m starting to forget about the rest, if only for a little while.
We make jokes and predict the movie’s cheesy plot twist together, and by the time the screen rolls the credits, I realize I’ve spent two whole hours just enjoying time with a friend.
That night, I climb under the covers a little lighter, and sleep pulls me like the gentle ebb of the tide out toward the open sea.
The next day,I go as far as visiting the estate’s stables with Victoria. She’s a professional equestrian, so she was able to teach me a lot in just a short hour.
I still haven’t mustered the courage to get on the horse, though. Besides, my mind keeps going back to Mikhail, and it’s becoming increasingly hard to stay present.
“She likes you,” Victoria says, brushing her mare’s dapple-gray mane—Alaska—while I watch from the sidelines. “Whenever you want, just let me know, and we can take her out for a ride.”
I nod, snuggling into my coat as the icy wind laps at the thick material. It’s beautiful to see how much my sister-in-law enjoys being here, surrounded by hay and horses. It reminds me of my study room, where I had everything that kept me sane.
“You know, I think I’m just going to go inside for now,” I say, peeling myself off the pillar I was leaning against. “I don’t know how you people handle this temperature.”
She laughs—a husky, comforting sound. “Go. I’ll finish up here, and we can do something else later.Insidethis time,” she drawls jokingly.
I smile, caressing Alaska’s snout before leaving them, crossing the white, empty patch of nature by myself back to the house. With every step, my boots drown in the thick layer of snow, sadness trickling into me like the cold spreading through my feet.
Where are you? Why did you leave me?
I look up at the gray sky, letting out a warm breath before continuing my trail. When I finally enter the foyer, I take off my coat and boots, rushing up the stairs into my warm bedroom. Icrack the door open, expecting to be hit by a wave of heat when, instead, my eyes widen in shock.
