I press my lips into a tight line, refraining from laughing until after we’ve passed him, though I can’t help but let out a storm of giggles that carries us out into the venue’s hallway. Niko and Rodion come into view, smoking cigarettes.
“Ah, thank fuck she said yes,” Rodion grumbles, “or I would’ve dropped to my knees and literallybegged. I’m so fucking bored.”
“Or you could just drop dead,” Niko offers. “Unless… If you really want to drop to your knees?—”
Rodion shoves a finger in his face. “Do not fucking finish that sentence.”
“Gentlemen,please,” my husband chastises, amusement coating his voice. He still holds my hand, and it’s warm, big, protective. I’m not used to this kind of affection from anyone, let alone a man like my husband. “My wife has chosen to delight us with her presence tonight, so stop being idiots, yes? Get. The. Car.”
I watch them bicker and mock each other, joking around, and suddenly, I feel lighter. Rodion and Niko no longer seem like threats, but more like Mikhail’s family.
Will they even want me around them? Won’t they think I’m spoiling all their fun if I come with them?
But as a Bentley rolls up in the driveway and we step out into the crisp air, Mikhail covers my shoulders with his suit jacket, and Rodion opens the backseat door. Then, there’s only silence, save for the incessant distant traffic of New York. They’re all waiting.
For me.
I look up at Mikhail, his expression relaxed. Patient. I get the feeling that if I told him to take me back to the penthouse, he would, no questions asked.
Ask for anything, anytime,he said.
I take the few steps toward the car, wondering if I’ll ever get the courage to ask for him.
21
Cecilia
Deep, vibrant R&B music reverberates against my skin, pulling me into Mikhail’s world—a dimly lit Bentley that races through time and space as if there’s no tomorrow. Tendrils of burning nicotine curl along my face like an intoxicating caress. It’s clinging to my tongue, forcing me to admit I like the taste. Maybe it’s because my husband is smoking the cigarette.
He’s splayed across the leather seat, head tilted back to the ceiling, a lazy smile hanging from the corner of his mouth at something Rodion says. His knees are parted wide, his left one almost touching mine. The air around me crackles with my heightened emotions.
It’s euphoric, but it’s maddening to be around him like this, in this environment. I don’t know who I am here, though that thought alone feels incredibly liberating, at least for now.
“For some reason, Damien’s little sis keeps blowing up my fucking phone,” Rodion complains from the driver’s seat. Heextends his hand over the backrest, throwing his phone at Mikhail.
A pack of cigarettes is handed to me. “Hold this,” my husband says casually while adding a lighter to the mix. “And this.” I take both objects, holding them as if my life depends on it.
Mikhail works Rodion’s phone, texting as he mutters the words out loud over the music. “I’m an idiot with low self-esteem, so I cannot love you. There,” he says, throwing the phone back to the front of the car. “Problem solved.”
Rodion laughs. “You fucking asshole. Not only will that not work, but now, she’ll think she can fix me.”
“Maybe she should try,” Niko growls. “It’s our last hope, honestly.”
“Ah, fuck you,” Rodion says.
I don’t realize I’m grinning until I catch my husband’s gaze on me. His lashes lower, as if they’re hiding a forbidden fire—a scorching, living blaze that’s beginning to burn him. My breath stutters. To the outside world, he’s just looking. To me…he’s seeing—seeingme.
Something pulls at the edges of his relaxed mask, at that sharp jaw and his wicked mouth. It’s subtle and dark and...and sultry, maybe. I don’t know. My skin tingles, calling out for another touch. I want him to touch me, even if it’s only by accident.
Stop this. Look away,I tell myself.
A strained sound echoes from my throat in protest. I don’t hear it over the music, but I feel it shaking my chest.
Suddenly, the car comes to a stop, and the music, the lights, the smoke, everything dissipates like a drop of rain in the ocean. Rodion and Niko get out while my husband cocks his head at me, as if something just dawned on him.
“Cecilia…” he murmurs, his voice a little rough at the edges. I wait for the rest, clinging to the silence between us as my heart soars. The continuation, however, never comes, and this fickle heart of mine sinks as the door to the backseat is yanked open.
From the car,we go straight into a high-end club. More loud music and dim red lights welcome me, as if the earlier atmosphere was just a prelude. The place is crammed with people looking like a million bucks, spineless dancers and pretty waitresses delivering drinks to the VIP booths in the corners.
