I nod, my lips forming a thin line. “Once was enough to ruin my life forever. To ruin Mom’s life.”
“Bambina mia,” he sighs. “Sometimes these things happen. It’s just life, and whatever happened between me and her is in the past. You need to let this go and live your life?—”
“No,” I snort. “It wasn’t ‘just life’. It was a choice you made. You chose to break our family apart. You chose to let that woman into our lives, knowing exactly what she was. My God, how pathetic. You call yourself a powerful man, yet all I see is a lying, cheating bastard.”
Silence. I can almost picture him pointing that wrathful finger at me and his temple throbbing with the vein that always shows up before he explodes. This time, however, shock replaces his temper, his next words a quiet drawl. “First, a killer. Then, an ungrateful little brat. I didn’t raise you to be like this?—”
“You didn’t raise me, period. Your mistress did. And since you’re so naive as to trust a single word coming out of her mouth, she’s the one who killed Mom. She told me herself before I shot her.”
Another pause, longer this time. “No. That can’t be true. She had no reason to?—”
“She had plenty of reasons, but I won’t be the one to tell you the details. You’ll find out soon enough anyway.”
“What the fuck does that mean? Listen to me! The business is going through a rough patch. I don’t know what that husband of yours is filling your head with, but I am still your only family. If he throws you out one day, it’s me who’ll have to take care of you. So if you know something?—”
I shake my head, nostrils flaring. “I know plenty of things now. Like the fact that I’m not the kid you can control anymore. That I’ve grown into the woman you were supposed to help mebecome but didn’t. I just wanted to call and let you know. You loved me once, but I loved you always. It wasn’t fair, and I deserved more. I’m not doing this because I still want that love, but because I already found it with the monster you threw me at.” I smile. “I won, and I am never, ever going back to that cage you built me. Goodbye, Father.”
“Cecilia—”
Breath shallow, I look up at the ceiling and come back to myself. It’s done. And much like throwing that corpse out into the lake, telling my father to fuck off is just as liberating. I still need to practice reeling in my overwhelming flow of emotions, but even so, I did the hard thing. I stood up for myself and shoved the past back where it belongs.
I block my father’s number and turn off my phone, making a mental note to change my number.
A fresh start.
I walk downthe familiar hallway connecting us to Wolfgang and Victoria’s wing, the house breathing quietly. The wind bellows against the frosted windows, and I snuggle into my oversized sweater, feeling warm and cozy. My husband said he needed to be somewhere for an hour or so, and I let him go, needing to right another wrong.
It’s three in the afternoon, which means my friend is probably in the library, binge-reading a book she loves. And sure enough, when I push open the heavy mahogany doors, Victoria’s face twists with pleasant surprise as she sees me.
“Cecilia…hi.” She smiles, putting down her book.
She wears long, knee-high socks underneath an even bigger sweater, her platinum-blonde hair like a silver waterfall flowingdown her shoulders. Her plump lips widen as she straightens, scooting to one side of the divan sofa to make room for me.
“Didn’t mean to disturb you,” I say. “But if you’ve got a minute, I’d like to talk to you.”
“You didn’t disturb me. Come on, sit. How are you feeling?” she asks. “I can’t tell you how many times I went to your door and turned away. Mikhail kept saying you needed to be alone, and I didn’t want to?—”
I shake my head, offering a smile as I take a seat. “I really appreciate the care and how you’ve always been here for me. I shouldn’t have pushed you off me that day. I wanted to say how incredibly sorry I am.”
She plants a hand above mine, warm and steady. “I know. It’s alright.”
“You’ve been such a good friend. I want to be that for you too, if you’ll let me.”
“Oh, Cecilia.” She beams before pulling me into a hug. She holds me close and tight, like she means it. I return the hug, closing my eyes, relishing in the bond I know we’ve developed.
Growing up, I didn’t have many friends. The ones I thought I had weren’t truly my friends, but rather people put in certain places, tasked with watching over me. Victoria, however, is one—my very first friend, whom I love and want to be around.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she murmurs, still wrapped around me. I never realized it until now, but she smells like lilies in the valley, like my mother’s favorite perfume. I inhale greedily, and when she finally pulls back, I feel my eyes stinging with tears.
“Thank you. I’m glad too. I thought that was it for me…but I made it to the other side. It’s not so bad here after all.”
She laughs, wiping the tear from under my eye.
“Good. Because Alaska misses you. I miss you. And this book, Cecilia? Fuck me, it’s delicious. Let me tell you all about it...”
48
Mikhail
