I steer my hog around the back of the clubhouse, then motion toward the prospect to pull open the metal gate that separates the backyard from our housing. There are no lights on as I pull onto Warrior’s drive, but I know he’s in there.
Every damn year.
With a heavy sigh, I drop the kickstand and dismount my hog. I straighten my shoulders, heading up the stone steps, and don’t even bother knocking before heading inside and flipping on the light.
A pristine living space greets me, and there’s something about it looking so homely that has a strange emotion tugging at my chest.
A home without a family, is it really a home at all?
I make a mental note to start prepping my house. Noah and Cass deserve somewhere better than a fucking apartment block in a rundown part of town, and I happen to have the perfect location for them. It would grant them the security I want them to have, with me able to keep watch over them, and if Cass ends up with a baby in her belly, I’ll be close by all the time.
Something about that thought settles me, and I feel alive as I head up the stairs and turn right into the first bedroom.
He’s there as always, slumped on the bedroom floor of the blue bedroom, staring into space and reeking of beer.
“You think he’ll ever see it?” He motions toward the bike mural on the wall. The one he drew and hand painted, the one that took hours, and by morning, he’ll have ruined it, only to start all over again in a week’s time.
Of course, I tell him the same shit I do every year. “Kid will love it.”
He scoffs, and not for the first time, I wonder why he bothered to ask me that, given he always hates my answer.
His head lolls to the side, then he drops it back against the wall to stare up at me. “Do you think she’ll ever come back?” he rasps.
Jesus, I let my head fall back to stare up at the ceiling before I take a deep breath. I swear my eyes roll. The number of times over the years he’s asked this same damn question makes my head hurt, but I try my best to remain sympathetic. All while knowing the love of his life is now married and living the high life with some fancy-ass lawyer on the other side of Berry Hill.
“Yeah, you know I do.”
“Want her home, Killa.” I hear the emotion in his tone,and a dull ache spreads across my ribs, causing me to suck in a sharp breath.
It’s the only time Warrior ever shows raw emotion; tomorrow, it will be gone, and in its place, anger at the world.
“Know you do, brother.” I kick his hand, and he moves it, allowing me to sit down beside him. I rest my back against the wall, and we stare at the motorcycle on the wall. “Just need to get on with life between time.”
A solemn silence hangs in the air.
He turns his head, and the red rings around his eyes are proof of how torn up he is. “That what you’re doing with Cassidy?”
I flinch at him bringing her up. “Until you have answers about Alisha, you just getting on with fuckin’ her?” There’s no malice in his words, and I consider opening up to him like a damn pussy.
“Like her. Wish I didn’t.” The kid doesn’t have a damn thing on his own bedroom walls. That’s something I have to change. “Fuckin’ her bare.” I shake my head at my stupidity. “She’s bitchin’ about me getting her birth control.”
Warrior’s eyes widen. “You wanna knock her up?”
I raise one shoulder. “Want to keep her. Just don’t think I can trust her. She’s the enemy, you know.” I don’t know who I’m trying to convince more, him or me.
“You really think she knows something about Alisha?” The skepticism in his tone piques my curiosity, but like a damn fool, I refuse to delve deeper and continue with my one-track mindset.
“She’s keeping something from me, and whatever it is, is stopping me from wanting to go all in.”
He nods.
“If I could go all in with Olivia again, I would. I’d knock her up, stick a ring on her finger, I’d do it all. You need to embrace what makes you happy, Killa. You don’t know when it could be taken away.”
His words strike a chord with me.
He’s right.
He’s lost his entire family, while I have one there for me to take. To make my own and embrace them as such. To love them, and they love me right back, and I want that, now more than ever.
