Ledger shrugs. “He’s a bit of legend, isn’t he? Your whole family is. The Montez name is notorious.”
Stiffening, I frown at his words. I don’t like people mentioning my family. They’re infamous in Mexico and certain parts of the States. I remember during my teenage years, our name was all over the press, and we couldn’t trust anyone. My dad became deeply paranoid, and we ended up in hiding for almost a year. It was about that time that my brother was sent to Verona Falls, and my other brother had already left home, leaving me alone with our parents. That might be a few years ago now, but it affected me growing up. It was a time when I needed my siblings around me the most. During those awkward teenage years when men who should know better start to notice you, I had no older brothers around to watch out for me. Sometimes I wonder if that’s thereason I’ve always made myself fade into the background. I stopped wanting to be noticed when I was in my teens, and I never figured out how to step into the limelight again, or even if I wanted to.
I put my milkshake to one side and press my hands into my lap. “I don’t like talking about my family.”
This only seems to make him more interested. “How come?”
“I just told you.” My tone hardens, “I don’t like talking about them.”
He rolls his eyes. “Okay, jeez. I was only trying to make conversation.”
“Why don’t you tell me about your family, since you seem so keen to share stories?”
There’s a chill between us now, and I mentally kick myself. Why can’t I just lighten up a bit? Have some fun. I always take things too seriously.
He screws up his nose. “My family are pretty dull compared to yours, but if you’re done talking, I can think of something else we can do.”
I want to bring the fun back to the date. I remind myself it’s the whole point in coming out with Ledger this evening. I’m trying on a new personality for size, that of the fun, cool, easy-going girl. The type who has guys hanging off her every word.
Ledger leans in as though to kiss me but hesitates, waiting for my consent. I appreciate that. I give a tiny smile and cross the small distance between us to tell him he can.
I’m almost twenty-three and still a virgin. All my friends are out here having wild sex with multiple men—often at the same time—and I’ve barely been touched. I know that whoever my dad wants to marry me off to willprefer it if I come to him as a virgin, but the thought of never having sex just because it’s something I want, rather than it being an obligation, depresses me.
Not that I plan to have sex with Ledger tonight. Maybe I’ll never have sex with him at all. But it would be nice to think I have the option. If we have fun, maybe I’ll let him fool around a little. Better to do it with Ledger than some guy my dad has chosen for me.
His breath is sweet from the milkshake, and he’s not a bad kisser. I still feel like I’m going through the motions, though. Can he tell? If he can, he’s not giving any indication that it’s bothering him.
He maneuvers me so I’m flat on my back on the bed of the truck, and he’s on top. He covers me with his body, his mouth pressed hard to mine. I’m too hot, and he’s heavy, but I try to push down my increasing anxiety. His fingers knot in my hair, and he pulls it roughly, but not in a sexy way because he’s too close to the ends, and it hurts.
“Ow!” I exclaim.
“Shh.” He kisses me again, his tongue pushing into my mouth. It’s kind of gross, but I want to be wild, right? To live close to the edge and experience these things?
I reach for his torso, wondering if I’m going to pull him closer or push him away. He grabs both my hands and pins them above my head.
No, I’m not liking this. Not at all.
Maybe I thought I could go through with it, but nothing feels right. I’m uncomfortable, and even though Ledger isn’t technically doing anything wrong, I feel no desire for him. There’s no way I can have sex with him, especially not tonight, and I don’t want to lead him on. Isquirm underneath him, trying to yank my hands from his grip.
I twist my face away from his seeking lips so I can speak. “Ledger, wait, stop.”
To his credit, he releases me and sits up. “What’s wrong?”
I push myself to sit as well. “I’m sorry, but I want to go back to the college.”
His eyes grow cold. “What?”
“I’m not going to have sex with you, if that’s what you’re hoping. I want to go back now.”
Suddenly, I’m hyperaware of how remote our location is. There’s nothing around us, no houses or cars or people. There are only trees, and in the rapidly failing light, even those are vanishing from view.
“Seriously? After I made all this effort for you?”
I can’t help laughing at that. “Effort? Drive-through fast food so we could make out in your truck?”
“Wow, you ungrateful bitch.”
Pushing back to kneeling, he lifts both hands and rakes them through his dark hair, pausing to clutch at the strands as he shakes his head. The movement has also lifted the hem of his shirt, and I catch sight of the handle of a small gun tucked down the side of his jeans.
