First thing tomorrow morning, whether we have any information about Ledger or not, she’s gone.
She can be Dean Rossi’s issue.
10
CAMILE
I clampmy hand over my mouth, hoping I haven’t been too loud. I always seem to be too loud when I climax—I lose control of myself—and I wonder if it would be the same if it was a man bringing me to my peak instead of my own fingers.
Since it’s something I’ve never experienced, I have no idea, but the thought of having someone witness me screaming the place down is mortifying.
When I first lay back in the bath, I hadn’t been able to help my hand slipping between my thighs. I’d felt so relaxed, reclining in this huge tub, and it had been as though I’d been surrounded by Jack. The scent of him filled the space, and, instead of using the body products he’d gathered from the women in the compound, I’d used some of his body wash to lather myself. My head had been filled with thoughts of him, and my body had reacted.
He’s the most masculine man I’ve ever met. He exudes maleness from every pore. I’dfound myself in his space, and all I could think of was how he’d also been naked in this exact same spot. His big, muscular body had been standing here recently, with water running down his skin, and his hands sliding over himself. Could he have masturbated right here? I imagine the size of his dick is as big as the rest of him, and my mouth waters, my pussy clenching. Is it any wonder I hadn’t been able to control myself?
Why had he wanted me here, anyway? There had been a shower attached to the room I’d been in last night. Admittedly, it hadn’t been exactly luxurious, but I could have used it. Instead, he took me to his home. He’d seemed angry with me—I assume for spending time with Ace—yet instead of sending me away, he’d pulled me closer.
I’ve never felt wanted, cherished, desired. My whole life, growing up, I’d simply felt like a product that was being raised to sell when I hit my prime. Any protectiveness I’d experienced from my father had simply been because he’d been watching out for his asset. I genuinely can’t recall a time he’d ever shown me true affection or told me that he loved me. Emotionally repressed was an understatement. My eldest brother had been distant and moved away as soon as he could, but my other big brother had been a little better. He’d stepped into those very empty shoes my father created by giving me affection growing up, but it hadn’t been the same, and ultimately, he had grown hardened by the same world. I’d watched him go from being a happy kid, to a sullen teenager, to a hard man. It was natural in our world for that transition to happen, but it had still hurt me as a little kid, watching the brother I had grown close to slowly pull away and not really understanding why. Iguess all the men living these kinds of lives do that. They have to become hard to survive the world, and it means they don’t make for very emotionally connected human beings.
I sigh and sink lower into the bubbles, my hair fanning out around me. The initial hormonal high from my orgasm is already fading and being replaced with the worry that’s been my constant companion since last night.
Jack clearly wants to keep a closer eye on me. Does that mean he’s gotten word that Ledger is somewhere nearby? The possibility twists my insides with anxiety. I can’t bring myself to believe he’ll still be stalking me. What possible reason can he have for this level of obsession? The two of us barely know each other, and it’s not like I’m some highly sought-after girl at school. To be honest, I was completely shocked when he asked me out. I’m someone who blends into the background, while my closest girlfriends are the ones who have men chasing after them, and who will do anything for them. I’d convinced myself that I was okay with that. I knew what my role was in life, and I didn’t want to make things harder for myself or my family.
But then Ledger asked me out, and I thought, “Why not?” Why not allow myself this one little break for freedom?
Truthfully, I’d been flattered. Some asshole paid me a tiny bit of attention, and look at all the trouble it’s gotten me into. Why am I so easily swayed? It’s pathetic. Anger at myself takes a firm hold, and I blow out a frustrated breath. I’m a girl so starved for attention and affection I almost got myself killed for it.
I can’t even go to my own family for help. My fatherwill be so livid I went on a date he’d probably shoot me himself.
My chin wobbles at the reality of how empty of love my life is. Vani has no idea how lucky she is to have such an incredible man as her dad. Yeah, maybe I have daddy issues, but can anyone blame me?
I find myself blinking back tears. I’ve gone from an orgasm to crying in less than a minute. What a complete fuck-up I am.
A light knock comes at the door, and I let out a gasp of surprise and sit up too fast in the bath. Water almost sloshes over the sides.
“Yes?” I call.
Jack’s gruff voice comes through the wood. “Checking everything is okay in there.”
My face is already hot from the water and the orgasm, but now it’s positively on fire. Oh, God, did he hear me moaning? I thought I’d been quiet, or at least I’d tried to be.
“Yes, fine, just… umm… got some bruises from last night that are a bit painful.” I cringe at myself, and slide back down into the water, contemplating submerging myself completely and never coming back up.
“Oh, right. Do you want me to get you some Tylenol? I can leave it outside the door with a glass of water.”
“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.”
“Sure thing.”
I wait with bated breath as his footsteps leave the door, and then let out another groan and cover my face with wet hands. He must have heard me. How mortifying.
Needing to finish in the bath and put on some goddamned clothes, I get to work washing and combingout my hair and rinsing off again. When I’m done, I pull the plug and climb out. I wrap myself in a big, fluffy towel, towel-dry and comb my hair, and then figure out what I’m going to wear.
It’s kind of strange choosing to wear someone else’s clothes. The tops are probably sexier than I’d normally pick for daytime attire, but I’m grateful for the pair of white sneakers in my size.
I check myself out in the mirror. My hair is still wet, but overall, I don’t think I look too bad.
Maybe good enough for Jack to notice? Or Ace? Or maybe even Rook or Ghost?
