She also liked to read. I couldn’t help but smile because we had a common interest that could serve as a conversation starter.
“Hello again.” I tried to sound more confident than I felt.
She looked up from her Kindleand gave me the brightest smile, which reminded me of a candle gleaming in an otherwise dark room. “Hi!” she exclaimed, sounding as eager as I felt.
“What are you reading?”
She hesitated. “Would you laugh if I said it was a cowboy romance?”
I chuckled. “No judgment here because I tend to gravitate toward fantasy romance myself.”
The sound that came from her mouth was loud and joyous—a laugh I didn’t know I needed to hear until I heard it.
“Now who’s the one making fun?” I teased.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting that from you.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know—books about big, strong men saving the world or something,” she said with so much confidence.
Why was talking to her so easy? I didn’t want our conversation to end. “To be fair, there are a lot of big, strong men saving the world in the genre.”
She laughed lightly. “I guess that’s true.” She looked away shyly.
“Your appointment is probably soon, but before I leave, can I have your number? I’d love to hear what other types of books you think I’d be into.” Time stood still as I waited for her response.
“That would be nice—to talk about books, of course.”
“Of course.” I smiled and wanted to jump up and down like my middle school crush finally noticed me. She gave me her number, and as I walked out the door, our eyes locked onto eachother. I could get lost in those storm-cloud eyes and sunshine smile forever.
SEVEN
AGE 12
Iwish I was wrong, but the year my mom has been with Andrés has been an absolute nightmare. My mom couldn’t fathom how Andrés wasn’t the man she thought he was, so she ignored my concerns. The house wasn’t home to me since he arrived; it was a prison I couldn’t wait to escape from.
At the beginning of their relationship, my mom would be gone for three days at a time, but the length of her trips kept increasing. Initially, Andrés left me alone because he slept all day while I was at school, and then he was gone for the rest of the night—I assumed he had an overnight job. When my mom was gone for longer stretches, I started feeling uncomfortable. His eyes would linger a little longer than necessary, and he would make inappropriate comments about what I was wearing. I wanted to sink inside my skin and disappear.
For the most part, I was able to ignore him until he began working the day shift and staying in our home in the evenings. I wondered if he would follow the same plan as the other menmy mom had dated. Once they weaseled enough money from my mom, they’d be gone, and we’d be moving again. And as much as I didn’t want to move from the friends I made, I desperately wanted to be away from Andrés.
As time went on, being around him made me feel uneasy. I hated the sick feeling in my stomach every time I had to be home alone with him.
The comments about my clothes grew more vulgar, asking who I was dressing all sexy for. I only knew what sexy meant from the romance books I read, but it was used for couples, never from an adult to a kid.
He would get a little too close when I was in the kitchen, which was the only time I came out of my room. He would find reasons to touch me, saying he was wiping something off my shoulder or lower back. The more I brushed him off or said, “excuse me,” when trying to get around him, the more he pushed.
When my chest started developing, he was constantly bumping into me and wouldaccidentallyreach for my chest. He even tried to catch me changing.
My heart raced, and tears welled in my eyes the first time I heard him try to open my bathroom door when I was in the shower before school.Should I shower in a swimsuit?
I would get to school an hour early to avoid him. Emma would be there early, too, since she had a complicated home life, too. We sat outside our classroom talking about boys before Shawn, Jacob, and Zac arrived. This group of kids had become my best friends, and without them, most of my life would be absolutely insufferable.
I was so thankful for my friends and tried to act normal, playing hackie sack, which I was not built for. I stared off into the distance, distracted by thoughts of going home weighing on mymind, wondering what I'd haveto endure the moment I stepped through the door
“Hey, are you okay?” Shawn came over to stand next to me. I wanted to be honest with him, but I was also scared and embarrassed, so I gave him some breadcrumbs.
“My mom’s boyfriend is being really weird. My mom hasn’t been around because she’s out of town for business, so I’m home alone with him a lot.” I shifted from one foot to the next, unable to stand still.
