I finished eating my breakfast and proceeded to get ready for work myself. I was consumed with nervous energy for the book club meeting later today, barely able to sit still. I’d hosted plenty of book clubs before; this one shouldn’t be any different.
This was my passion.
The reason I landed the job.
The reason I took online business classes.
I was one step closer to making my dreams come true.
I took my phone out to text Grant. I knew he would know what to say to calm down my nerves.
Me
What if no one shows up at the book club meeting, and the owner decides I’m not cut out for the promotion?
Grant
Give yourself some grace. It’s the first one, and you’ve already connected with the author to offer signed copies. Readers love signed copies. And if no one shows up, then we’ll make a date out of it and have a two-person book club meeting.
But that won’t even be an option because it’s going to be a packed house tonight. You’re a pro at marketing on social media, so go in there with confidence. Okay?
Me
Okay, I got this!
His belief in me quieted my doubts, and my excitement grew knowing he’d be there. I loved being intertwined in each other’s lives. We talked about everything, well, almost everything. We both had deep-rooted trauma still too difficult to talk about. We’ve both made incredible strides in therapy and have been forthcoming in the short time we've been seeing each other. I put my phone away and focused on work.
Mikey walked up behind me. “It’s your big day. How you feelin’, girly?”
“Honestly,” I said, “I’m a nervous wreck. All I can think about is no one showing up and losing Carmen’s confidence in me. I mean, Grant will be coming, but I don’t want him to witness my failure.”
“What if it doesn’t fail? What if, instead, you fucking kill it?” His eyebrows raised.
“Grant said something similar. My brain loves thinking of the worst possible scenario and perseverating on it. I’m going to stay busy until it’s time and then hope for the best.”
Mikey leaned down and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “For what it’s worth, I wholeheartedly believe in you. I’m here if you need to vent or need someone to hype you up, okay?”
I let out a small smile. “I really do appreciate you, even if I can’t show it because my brain is preparing for an ultimate failure.”
He gave me a light kiss on the cheek and left me alone in the office area. I spent most of my shift contacting other authorswho may want to be featured or come to the store to offer signings. Before I knew it, there were only fifteen minutes until the book club meeting was to begin, and I hadn't even prepared the area. I ran out of the office in a rush, but the corner where we hosted book clubs was already set up, and Grant sat on one of the couches.
I couldn’t help but smile. “How long have you been here?” I asked, approaching him from behind. He instantly stood up and turned to look at me. He had the widest grin plastered onto his face.
He wrapped me in his arms and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I might have gotten here a little early so I could do some shopping before it started. But I ended up finding a book right away and decided to sit here and read.”
“Another romantic fantasy?” I joked.
“Maybe,” he said with a wink.
Mikey came up next to us. “Hope everything looks okay. I didn’t want to disrupt your flow in there.”
“It looks great, thank you so much. Mikey, this is Grant.” They shook hands and fell into small talk, so I snuck away to grab my notes from my office.
When I reemerged, four other people were sitting on the couches in the book club meeting area. I blew out a sigh of relief that people showed up. Although I was relieved, I still picked at the skin around my nails in anticipation.
Grant met my eyes from across the room and headed straight toward me. “Ready to do a power pose and remember that you totally got this?” he asked.
“What?” I asked incredulously.
