“I know,” I said. “Usually, I’d assume something is wrong with him to stay single for so long, but I think whatever happened to him made him afraid of getting close to people.”
Mikey nodded. “That’s a reasonable explanation, but I don’t think it would hurt to talk about your feelings and any doubts you have about getting back out there again.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “He may be feeling the same way about whatever his situation is.”
“You’re probably right. I’ll talk to him tonight.” The owner called for assistance at the register.
“I’ll go, you focus on organizing and your book clubs tonight.”
I tilted my head to the side with a thankful smile. “Thank you, you are a literal gem.” He hugged me again and headed off to the front of the store.
I spent the workday doing exactly what Mikey advised. I worked alone organizing, cleaning, and stocking the new supply. The two book clubs went great; the first one had ten attendees, and the second had seven. I came alive during the book clubs.
My anxiety increased as I prepared to talk to Grant. I needed to preface my thoughts so we could be on the same page about taking our relationship slowly when he returns.
“Hey, sad, pretty girl,” Grant said as he answered the phone
“Oh, I’ve been promoted to pretty, huh?” I asked with amusement.
“You were at the highest level of attraction the day I met you, but I figured we were at the point where I could start telling you so. Hope that’s okay?” I heard the smile in his voice, which mademe more nervous about the discussion I needed to have with him.
“I appreciate the compliment. You’re pretty, too.” I laughed and put him on speaker as I prepared to shower.
He chuckled lightly. “I don’t think anyone has called me pretty before. I like it. How was your day?”
“I had a rough start to the day, but I facilitated two book clubs at work, which went really well.” I grabbed everything I needed for a shower and went to my bathroom. “I’m getting ready to jump in the shower right now. Is it okay if we keep talking while I shower?”
“Of course. Do you want to talk about your rough day? No pressure, if not, you can tell me about your book clubs instead, you choose.”
I took a deep breath. I needed to confide in him about my doubts. “I’d like to talk about my rough day. I’ve been having some anxious thoughts when it comes to building a romantic relationship.”
“What kind of anxious thoughts?” he asked timidly.
“In my last relationships, they tended to move quickly. I gave too much of my energy to men who weren’t all that invested in me. I let them break me down and turn me into someone I didn’t recognize…”
Grant cut me off. “Are you worried I may be the same?”
“My anxiety is tied more to myself than it is to you. Because I’m still stuck in my head about previous relationships, I don’t want to lead you on. I want to move slowly and make sure I’m focusing on healing before I jump into something too serious and end up sabotaging it. Sorry, I’m rambling. Does that make sense?”
“We’re on the same page, Serenity. I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured to jump into a relationship right when I get back.” He cleared his throat. “I want to spend time getting to knowyou even more and spend time together in the same space. Not that I don’t love these phone calls, but an in-person conversation sounds great too.” He laughed softly.
I smiled as my nerves eased. I should have known Grant would understand. However, when we start spending time together in person, the pace may be out of our control. We had a deep connection and have been magnetized to one another. I haven’t stopped thinking about kissing him since our pizza date. The way he licked ranch off his lips made me want to cover myself in ranch and receive the same treatment.
“So, I spent the whole day anxious to have this conversation for nothing?”
Grant laughed deeply. “I’m a patient man, Serenity. And I know when someone is worth waiting for.”
My body tingled with goosebumps. His empathy was unwavering.
“And Serenity?” he said in a questioning tone.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“I may barely be getting to know you, but I don’t think you deserve the treatment you received from exes. I’m proud of you. Some people will stay in abusive relationships for a decade or longer because they grow accustomed to the mistreatment, and when you’re in love, it blurs the image that’s right in front of you. Now you know what you deserve and won’t settle for anything less, right?” I nodded my head, forgetting that he couldn’t see me. “Serenity?
I cleared my throat. “I’m here.” My voice cracked. “No one else has validated me so eloquently before. Except Emma, my roommate and best friend. Probably my only real friend now.”
“I only have one friend too!” he exclaimed. “Twinzies.”
I laughed. “You’re such a dork.”
