“Wait! Stop! Okay, noteverydetail. Keep it PG-13, please. I’m not ready for all that yet.”
As if we summoned her, Mildred walks up and kisses my cheek before sitting in the chair. “Hello, dear. Is Horace giving you a hard time? Do you need me to put him in his place?”
“According to him, you apparently did a few nights ago.”
Mildred slaps a laughing Horace on the knee. “Do you want to traumatize that poor girl?” she scolds before turning her attention to me. “But yes, I handled Horace just like I handle all the hotties here. I got Horace, Frank,andPaul that night. They just love it.”
“Wow…” My face flushes as the pair laughs in tandem.
“Well, we were all worked up over our new visitor!” Horace says, fanning himself. “Whew, I’m getting hot over here just thinking about him. Mildred, are you ready for round two tonight?”
She rolls her eyes back, a visual I could have lived my whole life without seeing. “Oh God,yes. The things I would let that man do to me. And baby, you’d better believe when I was your age, I would’ve had him in my bed before the night was over.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt you!” And after learning what this woman is doing with a strap on in her nineties, I’m confident young Mildred could pull anyone she wanted. Not to mention, I’ve seen pictures of her when she was younger, and she really was a total knockout.
“I’m telling you, Ellie, when I say I would have climbed him like a tree—”
“Speaking of trees, he was a redwood. Wouldn’t you say, Mildred?”
“Oh, atleast,” Mildred scoffs.
“Okay, you have me intrigued now. Who is this new visitor?”
Mildred frowns. “Well…I don’t think I ever got his name. Do you remember it, Horace?”
“Hell, I was just calling him sexy all night…” Horace sits for a minute, tapping his knee before turning to the rest of the room. “Tracy!” he yells, successfully gaining her attention.
Tracy hurries over to our group. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you remember the name of that tall hunk of a man who came to see me at my party earlier this week?”
“Unfortunately, I do not.” Sighing, Tracy flops down in the chair beside Mildred. “Oh, you would havedied. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more attractive man.”
“I have,” Mildred and Horace say in sync.
“Oh, he was up there, don’t get me wrong, but you didn’t live through the ’40s…Now,thosewere some sexy men. I was just a teen of course, but boy, did I want to—”
“Mildred!” Tracy gasps.
“No, she’s right, Tracy!” Horace says. “The forties was an amazing decade for sex. And unlike Mildred, I was just old enough to play around.”
“Guys, can we get back to the super-hot man you’re trying to tell me about who lives in this decade, please?” I ask.
Tracy opens her mouth, but Mildred beats her to it. “He was sobigand sopretty. He had wavy chestnut-brown hair that I just wanted to run my fingers through. He was at least a foot taller than me, which I love by the way…no offense, dear.”
“None taken, love.” Horace takes Mildred’s hand and kisses it. “I like a tall man just as much as you do. You know that!”
Mildred smiles at Horace and bats her eyelashes. “Yes, my dear, I know you do.” She turns back to me. “Anywho, he was broad and so muscular. He must be an athlete of some sort because menwho just go to the gym don’t look like that. He had deep blue eyes that I memorized only because his stare was so intentional. And his smile could just about melt a lady. I’m pretty sure he had a dimple on his left cheek.”
“Oh, he had a dimple,” Tracy chokes out. “And did you see toward the end of the night when he was calling bingo? He pulled out those thick-framed glasses to read with.Phew!”
“Tracy? Aren’t you married?” I ask, and I can’t help but laugh when she doesn’t answer. I look between my three friends, all lost in some sort of daze at the memory of this man. “Are you guys telling me that the most attractive man of this decade walked through these doors andnobodygot his name?”
“That’s exactly what we’re saying. Trust me, I asked everyone who came to the party, and the only response I got that was even close to a name was ‘Roosevelt.’ And I’m pretty sure the twenty-sixth president of the United States didn’t waltz in here disguised as this year’s sexiest man.”
“Fine,” I sigh. “But if he ever comes back, please, for thelove,get his name. Ooo and his phone number.”
“You want his address too, sugar? You can sneak in when he’s asleep and—”
