And definitely not like a six-year-old girl.
“J-Jill!” he said, throwing out both hands and screaming again when he realised his palms were cupping two very wrinkled boobs. He went to pull away but Jill grabbed him and held them there.
“Hello, gorgeous,” she said with a huge, denture-white smile. “Come to help a girl out?”
“Um… Hi… Jill…” he said, still trying to pull away, but the old girl had a grip like a vice. He could hear Johnny snorting as Jill began to pull him towards the stairs.
Jill’s head snapped round. “Two!” she said, letting go of one of Taylor’s hands and replacing it with Johnny’s. “There’s two of you!”
“Oh, I… er…” Johnny began, trying to back away.
“Come, come,” she said, dragging them up the first few steps.
Their shoulders knocked, bodies squashed together as Johnny flattened himself to the wall and Taylor had a mobility rail jabbing him in the left butt cheek.
As Jill gripped his hand harder, Taylor realised her skin was red hot, and she smelled like maple syrup.
“Jill, I think we’d better?—”
“Get upstairs? Oh yes, I’d say so.” And it was quite clear that she wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
“We aren’t doing this again,” Taylor muttered, hip and elbow smacking the banister as Johnny’s stab vest left drag marks along the textured wallpaper. “We said no more threesomes. Not even with the elderly.”
“I don’t think Jill is giving us much choice,” Johnny replied. “Do you smell that?”
Taylor nodded. “Sweet, right? It’s the same as?—”
“This way!” Jill said, tugging them upstairs with more urgency.
There was a shelf on the landing with another row of those fucking cats. Taylor shivered and said, “She’s sick. I think maybe an infection? Oh shit, what if it’s sepsis? Old people get sepsis all the time, right?”
“Here we are!” Jill proclaimed, letting them go and throwing her arms in the air.
What they were presented with was a stockpile of…something—clothes and empty food packets scattered all around the medical grade bed. There were tubes and wires and some kind of dusty monitoring equipment that Taylor assumed must have been left by her previous mate, because Jill was definitely not bed bound.
“I’ve got us plenty of rations, so no need to leave the bunker,” she said, the smile on her face growing wide and dreamy. “Come on, the nest is ready.”
Oh no. Oh no, no,no.
Johnny threw up his hands, taking a step back. “Jill, you’re a beta. You don’t make nests.”
Jill looked suddenly heartbroken as her eyes began to water. “B-but I’ve made one foryou.”
Taylor scowled at Johnny, then looked back at Jill with a sympathetic expression. “Um, thanks ever so much,” he said, slipping his hand out of her grip as Johnny backed all the way to the end of the landing. “But I’m afraid we’ve got to get back to the Luftwaffe.”
“The Luftwaffe?” she said, looking confused.
“That was Germans,” Johnny hissed.
“Shit…” Taylor mumbled, trying his best to think back to GCSE history. “W-well, Jill, I’m afraid the bunker is compromised. They’re evacuating everyone and we don’t want to miss the buggy.”
His eyes flicked to Johnny, who gave him a subtle thumbs up.
Jill gasped. “Operation Pied Piper?”
Taylor’s mouth opened and closed. “Er, yeah. That’s right. Operation Pied… Piper.”
“Right you are!” she said, straightening and tipping them a salute.
