His voice cracks as he asks, “What are you saying, Madison?”
I blow out a breath. “I’m saying I need time. I don’t know how much, but I want to be left alone. I don’t want you texting and calling or, God forbid, stopping by my house. Truthfully, with the way I’m feeling right now, I don’t know if I even want this relationship to continue.”
He looks aghast. “You can’t be serious,” he says, his voice shaky.
I stay resolute, though, telling him, “I am serious.”
He tries to reach for my arm but then thinks better of it.
Softly, he says, “But I love you, Madison. You can’t give up on us this easily.”
A spike of anger igniting, I point at him and grind out, “Hey, don’t put this on me, buddy. I’m not the one who gave up on us. You did by not trusting our love enough to be truthful with me in the first place.”
“Fair enough,” he says quietly, sounding defeated. “Take however much time you need. I’ll leave you be. But know that I’ll be here. In fact, I’ll wait for you forever, babe.”
I can’t say anything back.
I have no more words.
My heart is crushed.
I turn and walk away quickly—from my love and the life I thought I had.
Life without Madison in it is…not good.
My black eye heals, but my heart doesn’t.
It stays fractured and broken.
Iam broken.
I try to keep busy. I play lots of hockey, score more points, get in a few rounds of golf with the boys. You name it, I’m there trying to do it, all in an effort to keep my mind and body moving.
But none of that matters.
My life, my accomplishments, my pastimes, they mean nothing without the woman I love by my side.
I am lost without Madison.
“How did I ever get like this?” I ask Shane.
We’re on the fifteenth hole at our favorite golf club. There are clouds rolling in fast and furious. We’re hoping to get in this full round before it starts raining, as Phoenix storms can be fierce this time of year.
Easton couldn’t make it today, so it’s just me and Shane on the links.
It’s probably for the best.
Even though Easton hasn’t said one bad word to me about what happened with Madison and our subsequent breakup, I know he’s thinking somewhere inside that it was all predictable. Because I’m an asshole and a jerk who couldn’t just be honest from the start.
But I’m not a jerk!
I’m really not.
I was once, but no more.
I’ve changed so much.
And I owe it all to Madison.
