“Is that why you pulled away from me yesterday?” I asked, my insides coiling tight and breath stilling in my lungs. “Because you knew that kiss meant something and it scared you?”
“It meant nothing,” he said coolly, tone so steady I almost believed him. But his eyes gave him away, the ache so deep I felt it in my body.
“Liar.” One step forward brought me against his chest. My skin tingled and my pulse quickened. If only the emotionalbarrier between us could be closed as easily. “Itdidmean something. I know you felt it. I felt it too.”
“You felt lust and nothing more.”
I shook my head. “You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” Onyx gripped my lower back and lifted his other hand to my chin, forcing it up. “Even now, I sense that lust coursing through your veins. The arousal tingling down your spine.” The hand on my back trailed lower, sliding across my ass. “I must admit you’re quite the temptation, with your flushed cheeks and pretty pink lips. Perhaps I’ll throw you to the ground right here and fuck you until you can’t walk. Is that what you want?”
“No.” My throat burned.
“Then leave my sight.” His expression hardened again, and he released his hold on me. “I have no other use for you.”
The burn traveled up to my eyes. “Why are you being like this?”
“Because this is who I am, Evan,” he said. “The sooner you realize it, the better.”
“I don’t believe you.” The words came out rough as I held back tears. “Rowan was like this too. He fought his feelings and tried to push me away. Trust was hard for him. It took a while to lower his walls and allow love into his life.”
“I’m not Rowan.”
“True.” I nodded once, causing a tear to slip free. “You’re way more guarded. Maybe even a bit cruel.”
“Well, I am my father’s son.” He flashed a half-cocked grin, though his gaze remained hard. Empty almost. “Cruel is in my nature.”
“Wanna know what I think?” I wiped at my wet cheek and tried hard to pull myself together.
“I’m sure you’ll tell me regardless of my answer.” Although subtle, he seemed affected by the sight of my tears. Not enoughto keep him from being a butthole though. “Go on, then, and enlighten me.”
“Varys said you prefer to be alone,” I told him. “But I don’t think you actually enjoy it. You do it as a defense mechanism. No one can hurt you if you don’t let them in.”
“You know nothing.” There was a quiver in his voice. “I prefer solitude to avoid exhausting interactions such as this. I need no other company than my books and the occasional warm body in my bed.”
“But no emotional attachments, right?”
“Correct.” Lord Onyx retook hold of my chin. “Should you ever wish to be the one to warm my bed, I’ll happily oblige. But know that’s as much as you’ll get from me. I have no desire for love or attachments.”
“Fine.”
“Fine?” His right brow arched.
“Yeah. Fine. As in, let’s do it. I’m game.” I rose up on my tiptoes and leaned in, our mouths so close we shared a breath. “Fuck me hard and then toss me away like I’m nothing more than that. If you can.”
“Is that a challenge?” He grabbed my hips and brought me flush against his body. The heat of him seeped into my veins. “You believe you can change my mind? Make me want more?”
“That’s the thing,” I said, breath catching as he dipped his face to my neck. Woodsmoke lingered in the strands of his black hair. “I think you already want more. You said so yourself: I make you feel. You’re just fighting it. Fighting me.”
“Why are you so determined to win me over?” Onyx ghosted his lips up the side of my throat and to the base of my ear, his warm breath giving me goose bumps. “You have five men who love you. Men who have no problem appeasing your insatiable appetite. Is it that you want a demon for your collection?”
I chuckled at the implication. “Not any ordinary demon will do. Only you.”
“You can have my body, little bird, but never my heart.”
“We’ll see about that.”
That amused him. “So confident you are. I dread the moment when you realize you’re mistaken.” He caressed the top of my cheek. “Your face is much too lovely to be blemished by tears.”
