“Elodie.” My name was a warning growl on his lips, the sound sending an anticipatory shiver through me from head to toe. Before I could stop him, his arm was around my shoulders, pulling me gently to his side so he could help me support myself. Relief spread from every point of contact, the heat steadily draining away the longer he touched me.
Indignant, angry tears prickled at my eyes, but I blinked them away.
There was nothing in the world worse than being weak, and that was how I felt. Weak and useless.
My heat was coming, but so was a catastrophe. What if I was incapacitated at the worst possible time? What if the ODL descended on us as I was in the throes of heat, unable to function let alone fight? To add salt to the wound, I’d taketwostrong fighters away from my pack, because there was no way Valens would let me suffer through it alone while he fought.
It was unconscionable. The worst kind of dereliction of duty. And that was before you could get to how I felt about the priestesses knowing Narcissa was still connected to the stone, andnot telling the pack.Forcing me not to tell the pack.
I was a wreck. Or I was wrecked. Who could say?
“You’re cooling off. What can I do?” His words were whispered, and it was then I realized Valens—big, strong alpha male who commanded respect from everyone—had bunched himself against the wall with me, huddled behind a blackened suit of armor.
He hadn’t yanked me out of my hiding place.
He’d folded himself in, comforted me right where I was.
A sob escaped my throat against my will as another pain gripped me.
“Hey, now, it’s okay. You’re okay, I’ve got you.” A big, callused hand encased my jaw, his lips gentle as he pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. He turned us so his back faced out and I was even more hidden between his big, solid body and the wall.
Never had I felt so cherished, so protected. It was absurd and wonderful all at once.
“I’ve been reading up on heats. There’s a lot you don’t know if you’ve never been through it. Or, well, I didn’t know. Youmight have known. My parents died before I was old enough to find a mate, so they never told me anything about… any of it.” He shrugged, abruptly cutting off the uncharacteristic rambling, and I could tell the admission was painful for him. To know you hadn’t just lost your parents but a source of support, knowledge… the way of life as a wolf. It was so much more than grief.
Or maybe, that’s exactly what grief was. A complex tangle of pain that tied you up in ways you didn’t realize it would.
I understood that loss in a weird way, because I’d never had it to begin with. My adoptive family hadn’t wanted me, hadn’t ever intended to raise and love and care for me. They’d always intended to send me away to the enclave to spare their own blood daughter. It was like they’d intentionally kept me at arm’s length even as a child so they wouldn’t get too attached. Never mind that I needed someone, anyone, to be there for me.
I lifted a hand to press against his cheek, just like he had mine. And the contact, while innocent, felt delicious. A tingling warmth trailed up my arm, but I didn’t let myself lean into that. He was sharing his heart with me, and that was worth so much more than any one-night stand I’d ever had.
“I don’t know much either,” I admitted. He had lost the family I’d never had, but he wasn’t alone in this. And for the first time,neither was I.
“That’s okay. We can figure it out together.” Another soft press of lips to forehead, another rush of relief singing through my body, lighting up my nerve endings with new possibilities, new desires.
“What did you find out?” I asked, my clarity slowly returning the longer we remained in physical contact, the painful cramps dying off to nothing in his arms. It was smart that he’d looked it up. I should have thought to do that, and I vowed that I wouldtonight, once I was alone in my room. The little bit I’d read before clearly wasn’t enough.
“Your hormones and pheromones will be driving the ship for a while. Waves like this are going to happen more and more frequently this first time, until the heat fully sets in. Future heats might be more like a light switch, though. Less warning, more immediate.”
I nodded against his chest, having nothing to say to any of that.
“There is one more thing,” he said slowly, his hesitation piquing my interest.
I looked up so I could study his face. “What is it?”
Valens cleared his throat, and was that ablushon his cheeks? Holy shit, my alpha mate was blushing!
“That good, huh, Brute?” I asked, leaning back a little more so I could fully see him. I immediately missed having my cheek squished against his chest.
The color only deepened, and I held back a chuckle. He was putting himself out there for me, sharing things that couldn’t be easy. No way in hell was I laughing at him. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. No judgment.”
To my surprise, he laughed, a short, nervous sound. “At risk of sounding like I’m telling you this just to push things along faster between us… the article also said that more skin-on-skin contact will ease things for you. The closer we are, the less painful it is, and the more… enjoyable. To be clear, not specifically me. Any alpha. You know, pheromones. All that good stuff.”
I blinked rapidly a few times, amused thatthatwas what had him embarrassed. The idea of a little skin on skin sounded a step away from heavenly at this point, and not a damn thing to be ashamed of. But if he was embarrassed…
“You’re not a virgin, are you?” I blurted the question with absolutely zero grace, then winced.
Way to go, Elodie. If he is, now he’ll feel like shit telling you.
