I don’t look at my dad as he leaves the room, focusing only on the boy in front of me… My stabby soulmate, my best friend…my reason for living.
Holding Lio’s hands in mine, it’s hard to ignore the bandages around his wrists. I don’twantto ignore them. I’m not afraid of them, or Lio, or what he tried to do. I understand the temptation of the abyss, the want—need—to escape the worthless feelings that consume you. I’m just not as brave as my Anima Gemella.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, this time it's so low that if my entire focus wasn’t on him, I wouldn’t have heard the words.
“Stop saying that,” I tell him firmly, probably more harshly than he needs right now, but I don’t care. “You scared the shit out of me, Amico Mio, but there isnothingyou need to apologize for.”
“But I…I hurt you. I did something I can’t ever forgive myself for, so how can you? I’m a monster…”
Looking into his moss colored eyes, I shake my head, hoping he can see the truth in my own dark green eyes. “No,” I tell him. “There is nothing you can ever do that will make me hate you. Not even…not even if you left me forever.” My voice wobbles and I can’t stop the fresh flow of tears.
We lock eyes and the tension between us grows…though, not in an unpleasant way. As I stare into Lio’s tear-filled eyes, I see everything I’m feeling for him reflected back at me.
Without thought, I lean forward and press my lips to his. Lio gasps, but doesn’t pull away. He kisses me back. It’s not rough, or demanding, or claiming. But…it’s more than the type of lips upon lips you give your friends—or the stamp of ownership Hollis gives out to those under his protection.
No, this kiss is soft, sweet, and everything I ever could have asked for from my Anima Gemella.
When we pull away, we simply stare at each other, our hands clasped together tightly. I give his fingers a squeeze. “I love you, Lio. You were the only thing keeping me alive in that hell. I…” My breathing stutters and my chest constricts as the feeling I had when I woke up in that cell returns.
“I don’t know if I would have survived what we went through without you. So, please believe me when I say there’s nothing I have to forgive you for. Nothing you need to apologize for. I hate what that bitch did to you, and that the fucking Senator screwed with your head further.
“But you and me? We’re okay. We willalwaysbe okay. Io e te siamo per sempre. Nulla si frapporrà mai tra noi. Li sfido a provarci.”
“I…it’s going to take a long time before I trust that, I think. But I don’t want to lose you, Roman. I love you, too.”
I’ve heard those words from most of my lovers, from my fathers my entire life, and yet, hearing Lio say them…knowing how hard he struggles with his emotions…nothing has ever felt so right before.
From the moment I learned about Lio—before we ever met in person—I knew he would be special. After learning everything Hollis dug up about him, I was intrigued. The reports we got of everything the Martellis went through…I wanted to meet him, to make sure he was okay.
For some reason, I felt a kinship with him the moment I heard his name. Then, when we finally met at the holiday party I convinced Cristian to put together, I knew we were destined to be friends.
Working together the last half a year, tearing down the old regime and building a new one…going through hell together…all my thoughts and feelings have since shifted. And now…I'm certain there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. Lio is my soulmate, in the very same sense that all my other lovers are.
He’s mine, plain and simple.
“Javi…my new psychiatrist, he’s been encouraging me to see people. To get back into a routine. I want to start family meals again…I’ve missed those.”
“Me too. I mean, we didn’t have them nearly as often as you did, but we tried to get together when we could. I’d like to have everyone together. Even…even Cristian and Allesandro.
“I want to see Cole. Dad said he’s my brother now, and I want to set a good example for him. So…yeah, I’m here for all of that. I was just…so fucking sad, Lio.”
He squeezes my hands, though it’s nowhere near as firmly as before. I hope Jayden can help him get his grip strength back. “I’m sorry you were alone while you were feeling like that. M—Allesandro said you weren’t seeing people? Or eating? I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“You can call him Master. I know that’s what he is to you. I don’t like him, but I will always support your choices—unless it gets you hurt. Then I’ll lecture you, and probably cry all over you.”
Lio huffs but smiles a little. “Is it true, Roman? Were you hurting yourself because of me?”
I shake my head then shrug. “Yes, no…I don’t know. It was very hard, Lio. Everything was foggy and wrong…everything except you. When I heard what you did, I…I didn’t know how to go on. You call Hol your light in the dark, your Angel, but you’re mine, Emilio.”
His breath hitches. “I don’t know what to say…”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just…be here with me.”
Lio nods slowly. “I…I have a lot of work to do. Javi said therapy is painful, and I don’t like how the medicine makes mefeel, though I know it’s important. I…” He takes a deep breath. “I need your help, Rome.”
“Anything, Amico Mio.”
“I need you to get better, too. You say you need me? Well, the same goes for me. I need to make sure you’re okay. I can’t live with the guilt of knowing that one day you might hurt yourself because of me. Please…don’t make me, Sir, Daddy, or Jude and Ignacio, live in a world that you’re not a part of.”
