Dr. Ranlen clears her throat. “I’ll be going now. Call me if you need anything, Benjamin.”
The doctor leaves and it’s just my Topolino and me.
He licks his lips and the thread of desire fades as he asks, “Lio is really okay?”
I nod. “Yes, he met with the psychiatrist today—just an introductory meeting, so he could get Lio’s history and a baseline of what Doc and Dr. Ranlen have already done; he’sgoing to proceed from there.” Checking my watch, I say, “He’ll probably be moving on to Hollis any minute now. I wish the poor bastard luck there. Hol is…well, he doesn’t like people fucking with his head, unless it’s me, of course.”
“Do you think Hollis will resist help?” Worry crosses his face.
I sigh. “Yes and no. Hollis…he knows he needs support, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. He’s agreed because he wants to be here for us all, and knows he can’t do that if he doesn’t take care of himself. Doc was very clear he doesn’t get a choice in the matter—and it’s always better to do something of your own volition than allow Doc to drag you around. Things never end well for you otherwise.
“I only know what Hollis told me of his past when that bastard came after him a few years ago. I won’t push for answers he doesn’t want to give, so…whatever’s in his past that’s still haunting him…I’m hoping between the psychiatrist and the therapist, they'll be able to get him to open up and finally move on from the nightmare, rather than shove it down.”
Benjamin studies me carefully. “I’m surprised you’re so willing to trust a therapist, let alone a psychiatrist.”
I shrug. “I don’t have anything against psychiatry. The doctors I met in the hospital weren’t corrupt—well, not all of them. While the asshole who Sergio Amato paid off caused a lot of damage, he couldn’t control the whole system, just enough of it to keep me shackled. I’ve quite enjoyed the last few decades of scaring off the therapists assigned to me. I hear half of them quit the profession.”
He snorts. “You’re twisted, I love it.”
I grin at him. “Well, that’s good.” I sigh. “I don’t want to leave you, but…”
“You want to see Lio.” He gives me a small smile. “I understand. Go.”
“You’re sure? I can wait until later. Maybe while?—”
“Do not say while I’m sleeping.” He glares at me. “It’s bad enough that I’m stuck in this stupid bed. Knowing you feel like you can’t do anything unless I’m asleep? That makes me feel as if I’m holding you back, like I’m truly alone. I’d rather you go now, while I am conscious and know what you’re doing, than wake up and wonder if this is the time when you won’t come back.”
“I should stab you on purpose,” I tell him flatly. “I will always want you, need you, come for you. If you think otherwise, then I’ll kill you here and now.”
“I’m sorry. I’m trying, it’s just…it’s going to take me a while to wrap my head around it.”
I sigh. “I know. I won’t apologize as we both know I don’t mean it, but I’m here with you, for you. Remember that.”
“I will. Go, Lio needs his Daddy…and I need to know he’s okay. Please, I trust you.”
I kiss him again, making him bleed once more, enjoying the sweet taste of him.I wonder if the puppy will taste as sweet as the mouse?
Pulling back, I gently trace the bruises on his face, enjoying seeing my mark on him as much as I enjoy the blood on his swollen lips. “I’ll be back later.”
“I love you, and tell Lio I love him, too.”
After one last lingering kiss, I leave Benjamin’s room and head to Lio’s. My lips tingle from Benjamin’s kiss, even as my spine straightens and I clench my fists as the anger at the situation courses through me.
There’s nothing I hate more than being helpless, and as I stand outside Lio’s door, I realize that's exactly what I am. It grates.
Taking a breath, I knock once and then open the door. Lio and Soren both look up when I enter.
“Leave,” I sign, not looking at the nurse, my focus on my Baby Boy. “I don’t give a shit what Doc says. Unless he wants to be Daddyless, you will leave us.”
Lio’s big, moss green eyes don’t stray from me as I make my way to his bedside. His lips tremble and as soon as I’m within reach, he lifts his arms and throws himself at me. I catch him, holding him close.
“Daddy,” he mutters into my throat.
With one hand on his back, and the other in his too-long hair, I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of his slight frame against mine.
Distantly, I hear the door to his room close, knowing I’ll probably catch hell from the docs later, but not giving a shit. Soren, of all people, knows how important it is for me and my Baby Boy to have this time alone together. They can put their suicide protocol into place when I’m not around. I trust my Little Monster, and I would never let anything happen to him.
“Shh, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you, Baby Boy. Ti ho preso, e non ti lascerò mai andare, Amore.”
