Ignacio brushes his fingers across my cheeks, collecting the tears there. He leans in to kiss me softly. “I love you. I’m here for you; please, don’t shut me out again. I don’t think my heart can take it. Jayden was five seconds away from tying me up.”
I laugh a little. “So Carter said. I’m sorry. I just…Lio is my Anima Gemella. He’s what I lived for while Cecily had us, and it’s hard to let that go, especially knowing he’s in so much pain.”
“I know, Little One. I know. He’s…not okay, but is getting there. His Owner, Daddy, and…Master, are giving him what he needs.”
I nod. “Yeah, Carter told me. I’m glad he has them.”
“Will you let me have you? I know Hollis and Tennant are busy right now, and so is Jude, but I also know, despite that, they’d drop everything for you should you ask.”
“They would. I don’t need them to, though. Not yet. I do want to see them…soon, but right now, I have you, right?”
“Always, Little One.”
He kisses me again, a little harder this time, making me moan as the love for him swirls through me, but that’s it. My head’s too much of a mess and my body is too exhausted to do more than want him next to me.
Besides, he’s not cleared for sex yet.
Pulling away from the kiss, I ask, “How are you? You’re walking on your own now?”
He smiles. “A little. I still have Jayden or Nico hovering over me whenever I do, and I have to use a walker or wheelchair after my PT because it wears me out too much. But for someone who should have died, I’m doing well.”
I scowl. “I’m so fucking sorry. I know Cristian had his reasons, and I don’t disagree with them…but there were other ways to get his point across.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. Is it fucked-up? Yeah, it is. I will never deny that. He took things too far, but…he’s a burning man, Roman. He came and apologized to me…well, it was half an apology, and half him trying not to have a fucking breakdown.
“He’s hurting, Roman. He made some good points about what he and Sandro came back to. They expected us to be waiting for them in our normal places, but instead, we changed the rules of everything. It doesn’t excuse either of them, but gives some insight into what they were thinking—or more how theyweren’tthinking—at the time.”
“I still don’t forgive him. I’m glad he apologized, but I feel weird because I don’t know if he did it because I asked him to, or if he really feels bad about his actions.”
Ignacio sighs. “I don’t have the answer to that. You’ll have to ask Cristian. He…I think he regrets taking it as far as he did, but he thought he was doing what was right. Things just got fucked up and I paid the price.”
“Never again,” I tell him fiercely. “You will never be the casualty of someone else’s fuck-up again. I will burn the world down for you before I allow that to happen.” First, Benjamin, then Cristian… Ignacio has been hurt two times too many, and the next person who even looks at him funny, I will show them why I am Lio’s stabby soulmate.
“My fierce Little One.” He smiles and kisses me again. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, but I will always welcome you at my side.”
I sigh and snuggle as close as possible, sad I can’t get into his lap, but unwilling to compromise his healing. “I love you.”
“And I, you, Roman. Forever and always.”
Ignacio may be Chaos, but for me, he is the balm to my shattered soul. The calm to my turbulent emotions. The piece of my heart I didn’t know I was missing, and I will never let him go. Death or jealous lovers…kidnapping or the dark abyss that keeps trying to swallow me whole…none of it matters with him at my side.
For the first time since coming home, I feel as if I can climb out of this hole I find myself in.
I’ll get better. I will. For Ignacio. For Lio. For my dad and brother. For my other lovers… And for myself…
Because I refuse to allow them to feel the way I do, so…I'll do whatever it takes to feel Ignacio’s love around me forever.
“I’m just pulling up their driveway now,” I tell Ely in between yawns. Fuck. I’ve been busy rearranging my whole damn life for this. They’d better be grateful. “It’s so…ostentatious. I mean, I knew the Martelli Mansion was bad, but hell, I had hoped the Council would at least have better taste.”
“Try not to get yourself killed,”my cousin drawls.“Pissing them off…may not be the best way to go.”
I snort, knowing she’s asking the impossible. “They want me, they’ll getme. I’m not going to dance to their tune. No, they’re my test subjects. I’ll be in control, like always.”
My cousin sighs, and I can picture her rubbing her head as she tries to stop worrying.“Remember, most prefer to be called patients, or better yet, clients. Test subjects…doesn’t have quite the right ring to it.”
I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. Fuck that. “If they wanted someone with manners they should have gone elsewhere. Anyway, I’m here. It’s time for me to meet with whoever they chose to be the welcoming committee. Once they realize I’m in charge, it’ll go easier.”
“Javi…”Ely warns, but I roll my eyes.
