Tennant tries to put the oxygen mask back over my face as Ignacio keeps his hands on me. “No!” I thrash. “Please… I need him…” Tears fall down my cheeks, as I struggle to catch my breath, and my throat is rough from my efforts.
Between the two of them, they’re able to hold me down. I scream, my throat already raw from the smoke.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Doc’s voice is sharp.
“He’s having a hard time,” Tennant answers.
“You’re okay, Roman,” Ignacio tells me, trying to soothe me.
I shake my head, flinching away from his touch when he tries to smooth a hand over my hair. Doc pushes Tennant aside, and ignores me when I try to move away from him.
“I will drug you,” Doc warns. “Be still.”
“Lio…” I whimper.
Doc sighs, putting the oxygen mask back in place. “If I have you moved, will you chill the fuck out?”
Immediately, I nod. “Please…”
“Fine. Stay put for a moment while I go get things ready. Okay?”
I nod again, letting Doc finish his examination before he leaves the room.
Tennant and Ignacio both take my hands as more tears fall, and the pressure in my chest seems to keep me pinned to the bed. I want to enjoy having my lovers here with me, but I can’t.Not until I see Lio with my own eyes. I need to make sure he’s okay. Nothing matters except for that. I am nothing without him.
Soren and Kail come into the room and help move me from the bed to a wheelchair. I’d protest but the look Tennant gives me says I better behave. Not that he has to worry, with the promise of seeing Lio, I’ll do anything.
They switch me from an oxygen mask to a nose cannula. I want to reassure them I’m fine, that I don’t need the oxygen, except there’s still a pressure in my chest and I don’t know if it’s from the smoke inhalation or the panic.
Tennant and Ignacio follow as I’m taken from my room to another. I don’t pay them any mind, though. I don’t even do more than glance at Hollis—who sits next to Lio—my entire focus is the still-sleeping boy in the hospital bed.
They move me over to the other bed that they must have just moved into the room, but I fight them when they try to put me in it.
“Roman, please,” Ignacio begs. “You said you’d rest if you were moved…”
“I need Lio,” I argue. “Please…”
“Let them,” Hollis says in a wrecked voice. “It’s fine.”
“Doc—” Soren tries to protest.
“Can deal with me,” Hollis tells him. “Roman needs this, and Emilio does too.”
The nurse sighs, but they help me into Lio’s bed, and I immediately curl into him. Even though he's not awake, feeling him against me, hearing his breathing and taking in his smell, it helps calm my racing heart, and the pressure in my chest eases.
More tears fall, but I ignore them. Especially when Hollis comes over to my side of the bed and leans down to kiss me softly. “You're okay, Amore,” he whispers. “You're both okay.”
Are we though? I'm not sure I'll ever be okay again. What happened to Lio and I…it changed us. Brought us closer together as friends…as more.
Lio might not be my lover, but he is embedded deep into my soul now. A part of me I know I'll never be able to live without.
Hollis settles into a chair, setting his hand on my hip as I cuddle into Lio. Tennant moves to sit on the other side of the bed, taking Lio’s hand in his. And Ignacio sits next to Hollis. He doesn't touch me, but I can feel the caress in the way he looks at me, his dark eyes so soft and full of love. All we're missing is Jude, but for now, it's enough. Most of the people I love are in one room, safe and whole.
Some broken part of me knits itself together a little, and I don't fight it when my eyes begin closing.
Safe. Something I never thought I'd be again, but maybe, just maybe, I can get through this. With Lio and those I love at my side.
Panic wakes me up. The nightmares chase me into reality. I jolt upward, fighting against the weight on me.
