And then shakily exhaled, willing my tears away. The more than two decades I’d spent in Ilasall had ingrained a set of five principles in me.
One. Regardless of the state you were in, you pushed through all obstacles.
Two. If strength left you, albeit temporarily, you pretended it didn’t.
Three. Logic was more important than anything.
Four. If someone hurt you, you pushed it all down, to the deepest pits of yourself, where no light could bring it back up.
Five. You never allowed yourself a display of vulnerability.
Failing any rule meant handing your opponent an advantage over you. And I couldn’t afford it. Not when it?—
Gedeon wrenched my blue cotton candy away from me.
Next thing I knew, strong arms enveloped me. “It’s okay.” Stroking my back, he murmured, “Breathe.”
His body heat seeping through the thin material doused the hail storming in my gut.
Sticky hands or not, I clutched him like my next inhale depended on it. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You are allowed to feel how you do. You don’t need to reason it.” His chest expanded as he squeezed me,crushedme, but it convinced my pulse to slow.
“But—”
“No, Kali.” He cradled my head, and the gentle grasp mollified my warring insides. “Getting overwhelmed is normal, especially during or after sex. You don’t need to hide it from us. It won’t make us think any less of you.”
“Why?” I snorted, and a little bit of snot flew out of my nostrils. Hopefully, Gedeon wouldn’t notice as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. “I’m already worth so little?”
“Fuck no.” Clasping my nape, he roughly maneuvered me to look at him. “Is that what you believe?”
“You did leave us without hesitation, Gedeon.” I dropped my arms to my sides. “What else am I supposed to think when you spent no time weighing your options?”
“That I would die for you.” He fisted my hair, drawing his nose to mine. His breaths mingled with my own, a torrent of heavy inhales and exhales, the exchange of air an echo of the fire in his words. “The rest of the world doesn’t matter to me. You want me to kill every single citizen in the city? I will help Zion slit their throats myself. The seven Heads of Ilasall’s government? I will rip out their bones, from clavicles to femurs, one by one, in any order you want.”
My insides flipped. “You would do that?” Catching the t-shirt hugging his waist, I savored the feel of his rigid muscles shifting. “For me?”
He relaxed his grip on my locks. “Yes. I would. That and more.” The shadows dancing on his austere features painted the story he’d told me. “Similarly to how I’m pretending that you did not wipe your nose on my t-shirt a minute ago.”
Embarrassment flushed the tips of my ears, and I cringed at the wet spot on the neckline of his t-shirt. “Sorry about that.” Thank the gods the smear hadn’t damaged the strawberry patch on the back of his clothing.
“I’ll survive.” Gedeon’s lips ghosted over my forehead, and the affection tickled my belly. “I can pretend the stain is from the rain.”
“You’ll keep the t-shirt?”
“I willincinerateit.”
The reference to Zion’s methods coaxed a giggle out of me. At least it wasn’t my wardrobe this time.
“Now go get—” Gedeon cut off.
Following his line of focus, I turned around, preparing to deal with whoever?—
Zion.
Of course it was Zion.
His eyebrows scrunched as he tried to free the wooden stick stuck to his pants. A shred of blue peeked out from the corner of his lips, the hue identical to how my cotton candy had looked.
