There. For some reason being added to the family group chat feels like more of a commitment than moving in with Ben. It’s not something that can be done this casually!
Ben
Gabe thinks you left the group because of him
I left the group because of you, Benjamin!
Ben
That’s not what Gabe thinks
Then tell him it’s because of you! I didn’t want to be in the group!
Ben
Poor Gabe. He’s going through a rough time right now, too.
Goodbye Benjamin.
I toss the phone onto the other side of the couch and go back to studying. This semester has been difficult but invigorating at the same time. I love that we are finally diving into criminal psycho analysis and applying our learning to real world case studies.
This is exactly what I’ve been itching to do for as long as I can remember. Following this career path feels morerightthan engineering ever did. Honestly, it feels like so many things are lining up exactly the way they are supposed to.
So much so, I might even let Ben add me back into the family group chat. After I process what that would look like and maybe have Ben do the recapping thing for a few weeks…
Baby steps.
Since missing the first week of classes, I still feel like I’m playing catch up so I decide to pop into Dr. Daly’s office hours the next Monday morning. His office is cozy, with a large wooden desk and two leather chairs across from where he sits. Mismatched textbooks line the shelves behind his desk and a photo of him, another older man, and a dog sits framed among the various knick-knacks scattered around him. Unlike Dr. Winthrop’s office, Dr. Daly’s feels lived in—welcoming.
He greets me with a smile and we have a rousing conversation about Eysenck’s theory of criminal personality.
“Don’t you think Eysenck completely overlooks the whole nurture part of nature versus nurture? I mean, he’s scientifically accurate when it comes to some of the biology of criminals if we were to look across a wide pool of subjects but what about their background? Previous trauma? Education? We can’t overlook those things when thinking about actual humans and not just case studies.”
Dr. Daly beams at me across his desk. “Excellent point, Ms. Russell. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Indeed, Eysenck had some good points and many researchers used his work as a jumping-off point, but there is a gaping hole, in my opinion. We don’t have all of the pieces to the puzzle if we don’t take external factors into account.”
“Precisely!” I agree, closing my laptop. “Thank you, this was really helpful.”
“Anytime, Ms. Russell. I appreciate you stopping by. This is one of the main reasons I went into academia—getting a chance to converse with brilliant minds.” He chuckles jovially, pushing to stand.
“Well, I will definitely be back then. I’m a verbal processor so talking through the reading a bit helps create a deeper understanding,” I say as I stand as well.
He crosses his arms behind his back, leading me to the doorway. “Excellent. Looking forward to seeing you in class soon.”
I thank him again before exiting his office, deciding to take the stairs down instead of the thousand-year-old elevator. Bonus points because I’ll have to pass by Dr. Bardot—I mean, Elaine’s office on the way out, and I’ve been rehearsing a conversation in my head with her for the past week.
Dr. Bardot, thank you again for having me over to your home. The murder mystery party was great. Yes, sorry, I promise I’ll start calling you Elaine. Congratulations on your newest grandchild, he’s very cute!
The last part is a lie, hopefully she won’t see through it.
When I get close to her office, I realize it’s a different familiar voice that’s drifting into the hallway. A voice that whispers the dirtiest words to me followed by nonsensical French endearments. A voice that sounds distressed.
Several thoughts run through my head at once. I should just keep walking but I want to say hello, and it’s Ben, so why am I nervous? Maybe I should hang out in the hallway and wait until he leaves, act surprised to see him coming out of his mom’s office. I should, I should, I should…
What I definitely shouldn’t do is plaster myself to the wall and lean as close as I can to the open door without announcing myself. I definitely shouldnotdo that.
However, that is exactly what I decide to do.
“Ben, you need to tell her.” Dr. Bardot’s voice is calm, drifting through the open doorway. It’s the complete antithesis of how my body reacts to the phrase she just uttered.
