Chloe’s jaw drops. “Mama never lets us get the shapes!” She drags a chair over to the counter to help me unpack. I rummage around until I find a pot to start boiling the water, not stopping when I hear Thea clear her throat.
“Cole, um… Sorry this has just been a very overwhelming day. You really don’t have to do this.”
“Listen, Sassafras is a weird-ass place??—”
“Language!” Chloe interrupts. Guess I’ll need to be careful about that.
“Right… a weird—” I cannot think of another word to replace ass. “‘Bleep’ place, and the Bardots tend to be fairly persistent, but they are also some of the best people in the world. Benjamin excluded, of course. Chloe and I are going to make our Frozen-shaped, cheesy-pasta deliciousness. You go… do whatever you need to do.”
I look meaningfully at the test still lying on the counter. Thea contemplates it for a moment, finally giving in. “Fine,” she growls before walking out of the room.
Satisfied, Chloe and I continue making dinner. When Thea comes back out, her face is ashen. I don’t ask, but I don’t need to. We eat, I distract Chloe long enough for Thea to pull herself together, and by the time I leave, I think I’ve successfully made two new friends.
The problem with attempting to date in a small town—especially when I stupidly chose to go on a date with someone in my master’s program—is that there’s a one-hundred percent guarantee that you will see them again. Sure enough, Brody and I not only have several classes together, but we also seem to run into each other every time I leave my apartment.
So far, I’ve successfully avoided speaking to him, but unfortunately that ended today when Dr. Torres paired us up for the midterm project.
It has been over two months since our coffee date… honestly, thank God we didn’t sleep together. That would have made this ten thousand times worse.
Our partnership, however, along with Ben’s stupid ability to infiltrate my thoughts at the absolute worst moments, is serving as a reminder that I need to stay the course in my quest.
The quest to find a partner before my birthday, that is.
Because after twelve years of leaving me the fuck alone, of course he’s becoming a regular annoyance right when he’s decided that hedoesremember the pact we made as teenagers.
And clearly, I am a grown-ass adult and, as much as I loathe him, I know Ben would never hold me to something that I don’t want.
It’s just that… maybe I do want it.
Not with Ben, obviously. But, maybe having a partner again would be nice.
Brody chooses that moment to plop down in the seat next to me. “Hi, partner.”
I can’t help my cringe, hearing him use the word I was just thinking about in a different context.
“Cole.” Brody sighs. “We went to coffee once. It was a really bizarre experience, but this doesn’t have to be weird. We can be partners in this project. I can be cool—can you be cool?” he asks, giving me a wink that I think is intended to soothe my nerves.
The problem is I am the opposite of cool. I mean, I work my ass off to present as cool—aloof even—but I’m like an iceberg. Well, not the cold part of the iceberg but the fact that it looks approachable on the outside, but if you get too close it will destroy you.
That’s not even speculation. That’s a cold, hard fact.
Instead of going down that rabbit hole with Brody, however, I just give him the answer he wants. “Yeah, I can be cool.”
And I’m probably not lying to him. I don’t particularly care about Brody, so I can be cool. Cool as an iceberg.
Brody nods, and I can see his shoulders relax a fraction of an inch. “Great. Let’s set a time next week to get started.”
We do just that, and I’m so proud of how totally and completely normal I acted around a man that I went on one date with, that I make the decision to download a dating app when I get back to my apartment. I’ve never used a dating app before. Both of my previous relationships have been friends of friends—the type where you’re around each other so frequently that one day you look at the other person and think,Hmm, I guess I tolerate you. So using an app is… foreign.
Ernest snuggles next to me as I scroll through my camera looking for a profile picture. It needs to show that I’m hot, but approachable. The hot part is easy. My college roommate, Jess, let me know that I’m conventionally attractive. Symmetrical, unique hair, full lips. Things I didn’t realize made me pretty but that’s what Jess said, and it didn’t occur to me to question her insight. I also learned that other girls don’t like you when you are pretty. Which might be part of the reason I’m not great at making friends… I haven’t quite figured that part out yet.
It’s the approachable part that is more difficult to capture in a photograph. Or in real life.
I settle on the picture of Ernest and me that Ben liked on Instagram. Dogs, I’ve heard, make someone appear more approachable. Not sure if that logic applies to dogs like Ernest, but he’s the only one I’ve got.
Okay, picture is done. I think I’ve managed the perfect mix of approachable and hot. Up next… hobbies.
Hmm. I look around my apartment, the jigsaw puzzle three quarters of the way done spread across the coffee table. My small TV that I really only use to streamDateline. A stack of text books mixed with my favorite fantasy novels.
