Stop thinking. Just breathe.
Lowering into the warm water, a gasp slipped out. Heat permeated her skin, drawing out the ache in her muscles, but it couldn’t reach deeper. Couldn’t touch the parts of her that felt hollow. Her arms folded tightly over her breasts, shoulders curled inward.
You’re not here. You’re somewhere else. Anywhere else.
Sadia dipped a cloth into the water, squeezing it out before gently wiping at Elora’s arms. “I’ll be quick, alright?” she whispered. “If you need me to stop, just say so.”
Elora nodded, throat too tight to speak. Every drag of the cloth was like peeling away layers she didn’t want exposed. Her mind flitted back to the woods, and she clenched her jaw until it ached.
You’re safe now,she tried to tell herself. It didn’t stick.
Tears welled up, blurring her vision.Don’t cry. Not again.But a single tear slipped free, trailing down her cheek. Sadia remained silent, simply continuing her work with quiet care.
By the time Sadia helped her out of the water, her limbs felt heavier than when she’d gone in. Clean skin, dirty mind. That’s all it was.
Sadia wrapped her in a soft towel, rubbing gentle circles over her arms to warm her. “Almost done,” she murmured. “You’re doing good.”
Good.What a strange word for this moment.
As Sadia dressed her in a fresh ward’s uniform, Elora stared blankly at the floorboards, mind adrift. The world outside kept spinning. Hers had stopped hours ago.
Chapter 27
Elora
Elora kept her eyes down, but every inch of her was on alert. Every face, every shift in the corridor, every flicker of movement in her peripheral vision made her hands shake more. She clawed at her flesh so hard it hurt.
Her mind still screamed about Tehvan’s absence.You’re still wearing the ring. How could you not know?She wanted to be angry at him. He was supposed to protect her, but she knew she had no right. Even if he’d known something was wrong, he couldn’t stop it. He was unable to oppose Thorn. But would he have?It doesn’t matter now. He didn’t know. He wasn’t there.
Her feet stopped at the threshold of the ward’s quarters. Her body wouldn’t move forward.
I can’t go in there.
Amara’s hand was on her shoulder before she heard her voice.
“There you are!” Amara wore a big smile, her slightly crooked teeth on full display.
She was wearing the typical boring gray uniform, but there was a string of pink and purple flowers around her neck.Twenty pink andseventeen purple.The numbers and colors floated around in her head.
“I was wondering where you’ve been. You missed dinner.”
Elora tore her gaze away from the garland, pushing the memories from her head. Missed dinner. As if she were simply running late, as if her body weren’t still sore, still filthy in ways a bath couldn’t fix.
Amara tilted her head, her expression shifting as she took in Elora’s face. “What happened? You have a—” she pointed to her chin, where a slight scratch must’ve remained.
Elora hadn’t even realized. She hadn’t dared look at her reflection back in Sadia’s room.
“I’m fine,” she blurted. Too quickly. Her body was already turning toward the direction of the bedrooms. “I… I just want to sleep.”
But Amara wasn’t hearing it.
“No, no, you can’t go to bed yet,” she insisted, looping her arm through Elora’s. “There’s a celebration tonight, for the Harvest of Light! Come on, it’ll be good for you.”
Please, no. I don’t want this. I don’t want to be around anyone.The words stayed locked inside her. What was the point? Amara wouldn’t listen unless she gave her a reason. And she couldn’t.
As they entered the communal area, the warm glow of firelight and the scent of freshly baked fruit pie filled the air. Wards were gathered around tables, talking and laughing, some playing cards, while others clinked mugs together in celebration. The atmosphere was almost festive, almost normal. It all seemed wrong. The world was moving forward, but she wasn’t.
And then she saw him.
