“You may not return for years. I will keep getting older, Rionan. I could be so much older by the time you come back for me. And you – you will be exactly as you are now. Is ten years of my human life just a passing moment to somebody like you?”
Rionan winced, like she had struck him with a blow.
“I’m sorry, Ali,” he spoke the words softly, full of pain and regret. “I’m sorry. I will come back for you. I will never stop thinking about you. Never stop seeking answers, so we can be together again. I promise you this now.”
Alianna studied his face. Scrutinised the tone of his voice. The feelings shared between them through their bond.
He wasn’t changing his mind on this.
He was really going to send her home.
She let loose the sob that she had been trying so hard to hold back, unleashing the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm her, and had done all day. He pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly against him as her cries wracked through her. Rionan stroked her hair, inhaling her scent one more time, and Alianna wondered if it was so he wouldn’t forget exactly how he would find her again.
***************
She had not said goodbye to Thallax.
She couldn’t stand more goodbyes.
She simply nodded at the general when they walked past each other in the hallways of Rionan’s palace. He had offered her a sad smile in return.
When they reached Rionan’s room, he offered her his hand, a mask of seriousness.
Alianna contemplated refusing to take his hand. Refusing to go. But she suspected he offered her his hand not out of necessity, but out of politeness, looking for her consent.
“I love you,” he mouthed to her as she studied him.
Alianna clamped her mouth into a thin line. Without saying another word, she took Rionan’s hand. There was a bright, iridescent flash, and the sensation of drifting into unconsciousness quickly overcame her.
50
The Letter
When Alianna opened her eyes, she was in her bed, staring up at her apartment ceiling. Although her vision was blurry, it seemed to clear much more quickly this time, like her body was getting used to this process of jumping between Realms.
She sat up, looking around for signs of Rionan in her bedroom. When she found none, she slowly made it to her feet, walking into her living room.
Her heart sank into her stomach when she noticed a letter on the table, and a mobile phone next to it.
Grabbing at the letter, she unfolded it with shaking hands, tears dropping down onto the words written in such elegant handwriting. She had not seen his handwriting before, she now realised, her fingers fumbling with the paper.
Alianna cursed at herself, angling the letter so as not to get it any wetter than she already had.
My Ali,
Please forgive me.
As I watched you sleep, I considered for a long while whether it was best that I stay with you until you awaken, or return to Xanthia as you slept.
I decided the latter. The prospect of letting go of you now is already hard enough. To do it while staring into your eyes, whilst holding you against me, breathing you in – I try to think of myself as a brave male, Ali. A male who is able to make the right choices. But I am not sure that I would do it.
I have promised that I will return for you, and it is a promise I intend to keep.
If you wish to create a life without me, I understand.
But know that every day I am without you, I will be thinking of you. Dreaming of you. I will not rest until I see you again. When I am able to bring you home to Xanthiawith me, should you still wish for it to be your home too, I will ensure it is a safe Xanthia for you to live in.
If you change your mind, and you decide to stay within Porthan, I will never resent you for it.
