He reached out a hand towards her, his eyes full of longing, of pain. Worry flooded through Alianna as they interlaced their fingers.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her words coming out flustered, hurried.
“Ali. My Ali.” Rionan struggled to find whatever words he needed. “I….we…”
“Spit it out, Rionan,” Alianna pushed, stepping towards him now, brows pushed together. “What is it?”
Rionan dragged his other hand through his hair, looking up at the sky, before settling his gaze on her once more. He let out a long sigh, studying her expression, as if he were trying to commit it to memory.
“It is not safe for you to stay here, Ali,” he said, the words finally leaving his mouth.
Alianna stared at him, dumbfounded. Clearly, she had heard him incorrectly.
“Ali, I do not want this. You must know, I do not want to be away from you. But it is not safe for you to stay.”
Alianna gulped. Something in her chest was being cleaved in two. Silence pushed in around her.
She hadn’t misheard him. He was really saying this.
“What have I done?” she asked.
“You have done nothing,” he insisted, stepping towards her. “You have been nothing buteverything I have needed. Everything I have wanted.You have been nothing but perfect, Ali.”
“Then why are you saying this?”
Her words sounded so small. So broken.
“There is still so much to put right in Xanthia, Ali. We still have not found who possesses Rannirr’s power. No Lord hascome forward to claim the East or South. I have not inherited Rannirr’s power, so we must find who has.”
“Why is that our problem?”
“It is our problem because this is my Realm, Ali. My Realm that you saved.”
“Yousaved Xanthia.”
“I am simply a conduit for what you gave me, Ali!” Rionan’s face looked physically pained, as if this conversation were causing him anguish that Alianna could not see. “If it were not for you – the sacrifice that you were prepared to make – ”
“Why do I need to leave because there are only two known Lords? You will find whoever inherited Rannirr’s power,” Alianna spat athim, her voice now raised. “You have said it yourself that you hold the power of all of Xanthia, Rionan. You are more powerful than any of the other Lords. So why can’t I stay?”
“Because they will know what you are to me!”he shouted, the words a desperate plea. “They will know what you are, who you are, and what you did for us, Ali. You are the person I treasure above all else, and my greatest weakness. Whoever received Rannirr’s power – they will seek to use you against me. To harm you. We do not know if Rannirr had an illegitimate heir who may seek to avenge him. I cannot risk anything happening to you, Ali. It is because I care about you so deeply that I ask you to allow me to return you home.”
Return her home.
He spoke the words so plainly.
Return her home.
Aside from her friend and her dog, what was there in Porthan for her now?
It was not her home. Not anymore.
“This is my home,” she begged, tears streaming down her face. “You are my home, Rionan. I was always going to go back to get Shadow, but I was meant to stay here. With you.”
“I know,” he whispered, pulling her to him. She wanted to pull away, to protest, but she felt within her core that hewas not going to change his mind. “I promise I will return for you. You have my word, as soon as it is safe, as soon as we know that nobody seeks to harm you – ”
“How long will that take, Rionan? A month? A year? Five years? Ten?”
Rionan did not answer, his face unchanging. Alianna wrestled a sob, but could not hold it back.
