His shoulders had stilled, his head turned slightly towards her over his shoulder, and his hand still rested against the wall.
“I love you, Rionan. The magic between us knew that before I did. Now that I’ve realised it, I am not willing to let you leave without me. So please. Take me with you.”
The air around them stilled, the impact of Alianna’s words hanging between them. Ali felt like she was going to be sick with the apprehension of waiting for him to say something.
“When I met you,” Rionan started, his voice coming out low and husky, “when I started getting to know you. Started enjoying your company, and craving more of it. I tried to tell myself I was not selfish.”
Rionan dropped his hand to his side and turned to face Alianna. He wore an expression of devastation that made Alianna tremble.
“But I was wrong, wasn’t I?” he continued, “I am selfish. Because I find myself bonded to a beautiful woman – a human. You are so fragile, so breakable, Ali. You ask me to take you into our world, which poses such a risk to you,” Rionan looked at the floor. Alianna felt a rush of self-disgust that she knew was not her own. “And I find myself willing to agree to this.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, Rionan!” Alianna cried, rushing towards him and cupping his face in her hands. Helifted his head, and she was shocked to find a tear running down his cheek.
“Is there not?” he asked, an undertone of fury in his words. “Is there nothing wrong with knowing that I would take you to a realm that is dangerous for you, Ali, purely because of my own selfish needs? Because I don’t want to be away from you? Because spending time apart from you now makes me feel like I am being torn open? Because being able to hold you close, breathe you in, and see your smile brings a light to my soul that I have never experienced before? Is any of that a good enough reason to take you to Xanthia with me, Ali?”
Rionan’s voice was hard, full of rage that Alianna knew was not directed at her.
“My world is not like the Xanthia I showed you, Ali. It has changed and has been ravaged by the darkening power of our Eastern Lord, Rannirr. Where beautiful creatures rested, monsters now thrive. Where the land was lush and full of life, wastelands now grow. We are at war, Ali. It is such a risk to you. And if they find out what you are to me - ”
“I’ll hide, Rionan,” Ali interjected, cutting him off. “I’ll do what you tell me I need to do. I can run, I can hide, I can try to fight. I might even be able to help. You have told me that I have helped so far. I could help again.”
“You think hiding will be enough?” Rionan gritted out. “Ali, they will be able to smell our bond as soon as they are around you. Both our allies and our enemies. You can be tracked. You can be followed. And if anyone threatens to harm you...”
Alianna felt anger race through her body like a white-hot flame as the air surged with a fire-like energy. She felt heat pulsing from Rionan as his body began to shake, and a clap of thunder echoed across the sky outside.
“Rionan,” she whispered, pulling him closer to her in an effort to calm him.
“If anyone threatens to harm you,” he continued, “I will find them, and I will wipe them from existence. I will tear them apart to know that you are safe.”
Alianna said nothing as thunder boomed again outside. She ran a hand down Rionan’s arm, trying to soothe away the anger that was making his power flare. His shaking slowly eased, his breathing shallow.
Alianna pulled Rionan to her, and he rested his forehead against her own. Another silent tear of rage and sadness slid down his face, down his nose, dropping onto her cheek.
“Do you see what you do to me, Ali?” he asked, his question quiet. “You make me lose control. I rarely lose control of myself, but with you - you could ask anything of me, Ali, and I fear I will agree, because my selfish needs override my good senses.”
“Please take me with you,” she whispered again. For the first time since this discussion began, he raised his eyes to look at her. “I loveyou, Rionan. I know that there is risk. I know that there is danger. You are worth it, Rionan. What we have is worth it. I know I ask you to go against all of your instincts, but you said yourself that something kept drawing you to me. Who is to say our journey is supposed to end here, in Porthan?”
Rionan stared at her, his gaze so piercing that she felt as if he saw all of her. All of her dreams, her hopes, her desires. All at once. For long moments, neither of them moved. Neither of them spoke. Rionan just stared at Alianna, and Alianna stared back.
“You were brought to me for a reason, Ali,” Rionan said, his voice a gentle caress against her cheek. “I love you. I need you like a fire needs air. It’s suffocating. Yet I can’t burn without you. Whenever I find myself trying to think of something else, my thoughts always return to you. I can’t get enough. I can’t be away from you.”
Rionan inhaled slowly, breathing her scent in, the tension releasing from his shoulders as he did so. “If you want tocome with me to Xanthia – perhaps against all of my better judgment – then I will agree to take you there with me.”
As the words left his mouth, Alianna pulled Rionan’s lips to meet her own, kissing him thoroughly. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him, their bodies flush. Alianna felt a warmth spreading through her chest as that same soothing glow filled the air around them. Time seemed to slow, and the air hummed, encasing them in all they had just shared and the promises made.
31
Goodbyes
Alianna had called Natasha when she woke up. She told her that she needed to see her today, to talk to her about what was going on with her and Max. It felt strange, calling him Max, but that was who Natasha knew him as. It would be easier if that did not change, and would raise far fewer questions. She felt bad about lying to her friend. Omitting the truth. But when she came back, she would find a way to tell her.
While Rionan went to the museum to retrieve the stone, Alianna went to see Natasha. She and Rionan had spent the morning lying on thebed together before he left, their silence enveloping them, filled with the words spoken last night. When Rionan had left, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and promised he would be back soon.
Alianna had gone to Natasha’s soon after he’d left, bringing Shadow with her, along with all of his things. This was the hardest part of this decision: leaving Shadow behind. It wasn’t permanent, of course, and she hoped she would see him again very soon. As soon as the potential danger in Xanthia had passed, and as soon as she would be able to return, she would pick him up to take him with her. Right now, she couldn’t comfortably take her dog into a war zone. So, he would stay with Natasha. She felt a tinge of guilt that leaving Natasha was not quite as difficult, but she knew in her heart that her friend would want her to pursue whatever feelings she had for Rionan. Even if she could not share the full truth with her yet.
Alianna pondered how she would tell her friend the truth. When she would be able to do it. If she would even do it at all. Discarding the feelings of selfishness to the back of her mind for now, she decided she would discuss this withRionan, and cross that bridge if she made it through whatever their arrival in Xanthia would bring.
When Alianna arrived at Natasha’s, she explained that she needed her to care for Shadow for an indefinite amount of time. She apologised profusely, and hoped Natasha didn’t mind, but knew she loved Shadow almost as much as Alianna did, so it made complete sense for her to trust Natasha with him.
