I approach, hands in my jacket pockets because I don’t know what to do with them. My body is tired in that post-adrenaline way—bones humming, skin too sensitive, mind sharp but frayed around the edges.
“Gur’s holding,” I say, voice quieter.
“It is,” he agrees.
“And your shielding plan—” I start.
Lonari’s jaw tightens. “It cost. But it worked.”
I swallow, thinking of the names I don’t say out loud because saying them makes them realer. Venn. The loyalists who paid for truth with their bodies.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper before I can stop myself.
Lonari’s gaze sharpens. “For what?”
“For… the cost,” I say. “For being the spark.”
His expression changes—something hard and tender colliding.
He steps closer, and the wind tugs at his coat like it wants to pull him away from softness.
“No,” he says, blunt. “Don’t do that.”
I blink. “Don’t do what?”
“Don’t fold yourself into guilt like it’s a blanket,” he replies. “You didn’t kill them. The Nine did. The bridge did. Cowards did.”
My throat tightens. “But I?—”
Lonari cuts me off with a small, impatient sound. “Jordan. Look at the city.”
I turn my head.
From up here, Gur looks almost peaceful. Almost.
Lights stabilize in clusters. Vehicles move like blood through veins. People exist in motion.
Lonari’s voice is low at my shoulder. “You protected lives.”
I swallow hard. My eyes sting because apparently my tear ducts didn’t get the memo that I’m a hardened threat actor now.
“I don’t know how to hold that,” I admit.
Lonari’s tone turns rough with honesty. “Then let me hold you while you learn.”
I laugh once, shaky. “You make it sound simple.”
“It’s not simple,” he says. “It’s just… true.”
We stand there for a moment, the wind pushing at us, the city alive below, and I realize something terrifying:
I’m not running.
Not from the Alliance. Not from the IHC. Not from myself.
And Lonari—this impossible criminal godfather who keeps choosing the hard path—has become the first place I don’t feel like a liability.
He shifts, like he’s decided something and now he has to do it before courage evaporates.
