Owen seems lost for an answer, so instead, he looks at the bag in his lap. “I shouldn’t be high for a conversation like this.”
“Sorry, buddy. My story, my rules.”
“I don’t want to play by your rules.”
Nate takes a breath. “If you’re going to be difficult, I’llhave to share with Sheryl what’s going on between you and Will. I know that you’ve been lying to her about seeing someone out of town. That’s no way to treat the woman who took you in.”
Owen seems more hurt than angry. “You really are a bastard.”
“If having your best interest at heart makes me a bastard, I’m okay with that.”
“I think you only haveyourbest interest at heart.”
“Snort the coke, Owen. Now.”
It’s unpleasant to watch how pale and shaky Owen gets as he opens the bag and sprinkles some of the powder onto the back of his hand. “More,” Nate says, and Owen glares at him, but he still adds more, then snorts it all like a pro.
Nate sits back and waits, watching as Owen’s face slacks, as well as his shoulders.
Nate glances to the side, where the security camera above the back door of the barber shop should be recording everything. He was the one who helped install it a few years ago when Emil, the barber, claimed people were hanging out on his property. Nate knows exactly how wide the recording area is, and that is why he’s sitting safely outside of it.
He clears his throat and says, “Joel and I were best friends, and I was the first person he came out to. He was a local football star, but it was never much of a big deal around here like it was in other places.”
“What was he like?” Owen asks quietly.
Nate struggles to answer, because the question stirs memories of the most complex and troubled man he has ever met. “Joel was a lot. He was hilarious and charismatic but also sad, like there was a cloud following him around. He…” Nate takes a breath. He doesn’t allow himself to think of Joel often, but he’s overwhelmed by memories. “I was sort of a loser back then, and once Joel and I became friends, it was like gaining a shield. The man was six-feet-two, broad as a log. He wanted to be a cop like his dad, even though he was pressured into moving away to college on a scholarship. He couldn’t picture himself living anywhere else, and that was even before Will came along. I can still remember the first time he mentioned him to me.You know that Will Thomas dude? Damn, he looks good.I was the only person he spoke with like that. With anyone else, he was as straight as an arrow.”
“Did he know that Will was gay back then?”
“Nobody knew, and I figured that Will was straight, so I didn’t think much of Joel’s comment. But when he had his sight set on something, he rarely let it go. He became friendly with Will within a week, and the three of us began to hang out. I still thought Will was straight, but I noticed the way he was looking at Joel, and there was obviously something there. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but Joel must have made a pass at Will, and after a few weeks, they were a thing. Nobodyknew but me, and when the three of us were together, Joel was so fucking happy it was contagious.”
“And was Will happy?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t he be? Joel was a catch. Anyway, it’s probably time to mention that Joel’s mother was a loony. She was hospitalized when he was a kid. They let her out after a year, but she ran away after a few days and was hit by a truck in a different county. Word was that she ran out into the road naked. Joel was open about his mom’s past. It sometimes felt like he was waiting to get sick himself, like it was unavoidable. But he didn’t sound scared about it, more… curious.”
“Curious about getting mentally ill?”
Nate doesn’t appreciate the tone of judgement in Owen’s voice. “Yeah, he was curious. No harm in that. Anyway, people around town started to suspect that something was going on between Joel and Will until they both finally came out to the sheriff. It went okay. I mean, I don’t think he opened a bottle of champagne, but Joel was the only thing he had, and he did his best to accept him. It was weird walking with them around town and seeing all the looks, but no one dared to say anything nasty, at least not to Joel’s face.”
“Were you jealous?”
Nate scowls at the question. “Jealous?”
“Joel was your best friend before Will came along.”
He wonders how Owen can be so sharp while still being high, but he reminds himself that the man hasbeen taking drugs for years, so his body must be better at handling such substances than the average Joe. “Maybe I was a bit jealous, but I was supportive.”
“So you and Will were friends?”
Nate moves uneasily in his chair. “I guess we were.” But he didn’t want to be friends—he wanted Will. He tried to ignore his feelings, but he couldn’t make them magically disappear. He thought it must mean he was gay too, but he didn’t feel attraction toward any other man, not even the hot ones in magazines. That made his infatuation with Will all the more strange, yet no less real.
“Something bad must have happened,” Owen says impatiently. “What was it?”
“Joel began to lose his mind. It didn’t happen overnight, but when it started, it escalated fast. He would stare at a spot in space for a long time or snap at you for no reason. He would claim he told you things he never did, then get angry when you told him he was wrong.”
Owen crosses his arms. “It sounds horrible. Didn’t he get help?”
“The sheriff tried, and Joel agreed for a while, but they wanted him to take pills, and he hated that. I also tried to make him seek help, but he told me to mind my own business. The only one who could have gotten through to him was Will, but he was no help.”
