I thought that, after the showdown with the creature and the revealing conversation with Thatcher, things would be different. Granted, they were, but they hadn’t changed in the way I’d hoped. Things had gotten worse, and I didn’t think that had been possible—or that I’d feel that way when it had already been days and there was no malfunction, no power outage. There was also barely any Thatcher.
I stood in my workroom by my favorite workbench as I played around with metal alloys and chemical compounds. The threat was gone, or at least appeared to be, but I wasn’t feeling confident about it. So I was here, working on creating a new suit of armor for Thatcher, one that would be able to resist the chemical composition of the acid the entity hadsprayed at him. Twice was enough; I wasn’t letting him get burned a third time.
Since all was quiet, I no longer had a guard assigned to me. We were hurtling through space in pursuit of the pair of escaped gladiators. TheVagabondwas flying alongside us, and their pilot-and-navigator pair was timing each of their FTL jumps precisely with ours. I’d gotten to work with Da’vi, their engineer, tuning the output of our engines to match theirs and keep our speed the same. A fun challenge, and a brilliant, if rather surly, mind to work with, and I hadn’t enjoyed a single minute of it.
I thought that after that revelation, Thatcher would continue to follow me around everywhere if he could. Except he’d become so busy with this current job that he had absolutely zero time. I only saw him when I went to get my meals, staring broodingly across the mess hall at me. I was also pretty sure he checked in on me each night and morning, but only because I’d set the hallway sensors outside of my quarters to record any activity. He’d show up as if to check that I was there, then slink away again with his head hanging low.
Did he think he had to stay away because he’d proven to himself how “broken” he was by trying to attack Raukesh? He shared a bunk room with the Tarkan, and as far as I knew, the other male had not asked to be assigned to different quarters. He couldn’t have beenthatafraid.
When my eyes went to the sliver of hallway outside the engine room for the dozenth time, Ivo swore. “Damn, Ysa. You’ve got it bad, haven’t you?” he said. He ducked into my workroom, carrying a crate of small parts he was supposed to catalog and store. Grunn was hot on his heels,and he wasn’t even carrying anything as an excuse for his presence. His head lowered, his horn aimed my way. Already grumpy and ready to charge headfirst, not that he would, but he’d use his words, and they would be sharp and biting.
My belly warmed with pleasure at the sight. They thought they were here to talk some sense into me, and didn’t that make a girl feel loved? See, this was why I’d adopted these two into my family. Marked them the Ulinial way; a promise that I’d always have their back. In return, they had my back too, and that was exactly why they were here.
Turning, I propped my hip against my workbench, leaned back, and crossed my arms over my chest. “Well, let me hear it. The sage advice, the observations. What am I supposed to do, guys?” I’d heard them whispering to each other on the other side of the engine room. Grunn was partially deaf in one ear, thanks to the explosion that had scarred his face. Whispering with my Rhico brother was practically impossible. There was a reason they did not take him on missions that required stealth, and it wasn’t his size and massive Rhico feet.
At my hand gesture, Ivo shoved Grunn forward with two of his four hands. He mouthed, “Go,” which the Rhico obviously didn’t see or hear. He did start talking, though. “You’re moping!” he said, like it was an accusation. “The thing is dead, and he’s no longer hanging out in the hallway. All you do is sigh, work on his armor, and look for him even though he’s not there. It’s disgusting.” Translation: Grunn was extremely worried about me, and he didn’t like seeing me sad.
Ivo rolled his eyes, the mood spots that dotted his face flashing with several different colors. One clearly indicatedhis annoyance at how Grunn had messed up the delivery. The Pretorian put his box down on the nearest surface one-handed, while using the others to shove the Rhico back so he could step in front of him. “What our cantankerous coworker means to say is: Sure, humans supposedly don’t have fated mates, but blazing stars, they sure take to mating well. We’ve got over half a dozen of them mated to males on this ship right now! And here’s another thing to consider: Ulinialdorecognize their fated mate. Maybe it’s time you start listening to your own instincts instead of listening to what everyone else is saying!”
The silence that followed that statement was long and deep, my mind spinning. The empty cot, Thatcher’s certainty that he was too broken to be any good to me, other than as my shield. The stalking even he admitted to, and the way everyone had been acting—even Ivo and Grunn at first—like Thatcher was a danger to me. How incredibly torn I’d felt over feeling attracted when his behavior had kept crossing a line. I’d send him away, and he’d glare and stay. I’d demand answers, and he’d say nothing. Even when he was kept so busy he couldn’t be here, he still checked up on me all the time. At night, in the early morning hours, his glare at the mess hall, making sure I ate enough…
My instincts. They’d been in conflict with what my head had known from the start. Through dry lips I said, “But it’s the Ulinial male that initiates the bond… The female doesn’t know.” Grunn snorted like I’d said something incredibly stupid, and Ivo’s eyebrows went up like he was saying, “You hear yourself? Are you sure?”
Was I sure? Stars… Oh… Perhaps I was. I kept wanting him around, even though I didn’t want to at the same time. His smirk—that half-smile he reserved only for me—was so damn sexy. But it was that broken heart inside his big chest I coveted. It deserved a little protecting, and while I might not fight physically, I definitely knew a thing or two about fighting for a person emotionally. The way I’d fought to keep Ivo and Grunn on the ship and give them a home, even after they’d screwed up a time or two. The way I knew family mattered, and you stood by them no matter what, and that family could be chosen.
Grunn stepped around Ivo, giving the Pretorian’s many arms the slip with sheer strength. His fist crashed down next to me on the workbench, but I didn’t flinch. That was just the Rhico way of emphasizing a point, and I was pretty used to it, and to smoothing a dent or two out of the metal surface from time to time. “You need to tell everyone to mind their own business, Ysa. So what if the captain is concerned, or his mate? If you want Thatcher to shadow your every step, that’s your business. If you don’t want him, you tell us and we’ll kick his ass.”
Huh. I considered that, and came to the shocking realization that Ivo and Grunn would have done that in a heartbeat from the day it started. Except they hadn’t. They’d moaned about it, complained, griped, but they had done absolutely nothing to stop it. They knew me better than anyone in the galaxy, and it abruptly sank in that they’d taken my lead on this. Even when I told Thatcher to leave, my guys had realized that wasn’t what I really wanted.
“Okay,” I said, nodding. “Okay, you guys are right.” I straightened from my workbench, then quickly double-checked that I wasn’t leaving any unstable preparations out. “I don’t think I’ll be back today. Can you guys manage without me?”
Grunn grinned, Ivo scoffed, and then they shared a look that could mean all kinds of things, and definitely not that they promised they weren’t going to fight. They probably would.
I left anyway. Striding from the workroom, my head bent over my comm as I checked the last batch of messages I’d gotten today. An invitation to join the girls for lunch—this time from Evie—so it was very polite and not pushy. She was a diplomat to the core, and currently filled much of her time as a go-between for the Kertinal Empire and the locals of Radin, ironing out the details of a treaty that would see the planet become a production hub for the key component to a cure for Roka production pollution. A cure our newest lady on the ship, Dani, had created. See, sometimes this ship didn’t deal in death; it dealt in saving lives.
Perfect, they were meeting in the hydroponics bay, hardly a surprise. It was their favorite place to hang out, because the massive, two-deck-spanning area made everyone feel like they were outside. Maintained by Tasseloris, a Viridara male with special powers over plants, it was the lushest, greenest place on the ship. I’d served on a handful of ships before theVarakartoomand lived on three different Ulinial colony ships. None of them had this much plant life, or a hydroponics bay this huge and abundant.
My brothers were right. I had been crushing on Thatcher, as Harper would call it, from the day he’d smirked at me and refused to leave. I’d liked it a little too much, seeing his face wherever I went, and now I missed him. Iwasmoping like I’d broken my favorite wrench, and it wasbecause he wasn’t there. Enough was enough. I’d tell the ladies I appreciated their concern, but they needed to mind their own business. Then I was going to find Thatcher and tell him exactly what I thought, too.
I crossed paths with Flack and Raukesh in one hallway, the Tarkan leaping aside for me like I was on fire. Flack was not nearly so concerned, his blue eyes sparking with mirth when he spotted me. “On the warpath, are you, Ysa? Should I warn Thatcher?” he asked. “Would you like me to get you some handcuffs?” I made a very rude gesture with my hand, and the quartermaster laughed, throwing back his long white hair and howling at the ceiling. Stupid Sune, always thought he was hilarious.
The females had all gathered, sitting on the terrace at a long table decked out with some of Brace’s best lunch foods. That included a bowl of Haras wheat pastries sweetened with Ekra from Viridara and a variety of nuts. My favorite, but too sweet for pretty much everyone else. They were on the table for me, just in case I showed up. A considerate gesture I was a little too riled up to fully appreciate.
“Ysa! You made it,” Elyssa greeted me first. She was an Elrohirian and was mated to Tass, whom we had to thank for this lovely place. She most resembled a human, except she had pointed ears like me, eyes that glowed with an inner light, and a chain of clan markings dangling from a ring in her nose to her earlobe. She rose from her seat, jogged down the path, and pulled me into an embrace. Her arm hooked through mine; she then hauled me with her to the table. Everyone got up, gathering around me to hug, to welcome me. Warm smiles, relieved eyes, and nothing but kindness.
I felt a little bit like an ass when the first thing out of my mouth was, “This has got to stop!” Everyone stopped and froze, staring at me like I’d just sprouted a second head. Harper’s eyes got bright with curiosity, Mandy seemed to be pulling out the maternal concern, while Ruby made a shocked noise that her baby, Mateo, mimicked. Damn it. He appeared twice as big as the last time I’d seen him. Had I really been canceling plans with them that much?
Sighing deeply, I shoved away the dismay and focused on the goal I’d come here for. “Look, I sense a hand or two—or three—in the situation with Thatcher, and I just came here to say: don’t. I know he’s behaving like an ass, but you should have come to me first about it. Turns out, I like it when he’s being an ass, and now I miss him. So back off, okay?”
Harper had begun to grin from ear to ear, but then she was the sassy one who liked to regale us with stories of her former-cop grandmother who raised her. The only one whose opinion really mattered out of the bunch was Mandy’s, though. It was her I needed to convince that the situation was in hand, and that she did not need to interfere through Asmoded. Since she had their son, the mate of our fearless leader had gotten a little overprotective. “Are you sure, Ysa? He’s not exactly behaving like he’s sane,” she said.
“We’re only worried because he’s the guy everyone warns us about when we first get here. He might be human, but he’s more dangerous than even Solear.” That came from Evie, who was always the diplomat. She had a point, too. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and not even three months ago, I readily would have agreed. My eyes shot to Freddie, our newest addition to thegroup. In fact, I’d reminded Freddie of Thatcher’s dangerous status myself when she first got here.
“I’m certain,” I said firmly. “Very certain. So certain that if anyone tries to get between us again, I might reconsider my vow of pacifism. Understood?” My fists clenched so tightly the fine bones in my hands ached. How was it possible to feel loved, to feel part of a massive, amazing family, and at the same time be so stinking mad at them?
When Mandy began to smile, then grin, her dark eyes twinkling, her half-Naga baby mirrored her, gurgling with laughter. It was the approval I needed; she was backing off. She saw I didn’t need her help. Harper yelled, “You go, girl!” after me as I turned and began jogging away, which was followed by various encouragements from the others about “getting my man.” I wasn’t quite sure what they thought I was planning, not until my feet turned me toward the massive gym and I began running. A shockingly crude suggestion was the last to chase after me, not because it was crude, but because it came from Evie, our former princess.
Chapter 14
