“One... two... three... four... five... six—good! That’s it, nice.”
“I can’t—” she sobbed. “I can’t, it’s burning, oh God—!”
The doctor nodded, unfazed. “I know, sweetheart. That’s the ring of fire. Breathe. You’ve got it.”
“Baby, breathe—” My voice cracked.
“All right, Elena, big push, harder than before!”
She pushed. God, she pushed so hard her whole face changed. Her scream tore straight through me. I held her hand because that was all I could do, even when I felt like I was sinking right along with her.
“Baby, you’re okay,” I whispered, kissing her knuckles, my voice barely steady. “You’re doing so good.”
The doctor leaned forward. “Elena, your baby is right there. One more big push.”
Elena sobbed, shaking her head. “I can’t... Doc, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” My forehead pressed against hers. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. Come on, baby. For our little girl. For us.”
Another contraction hit.
She screamed, pushed—
And then suddenly—
My breath stopped.
I didn’t move. I couldn’t.
The nurse lifted her up.
My little girl.
And I broke.
Tears hit my face before I even noticed them. I wiped them away instinctively, embarrassed and overwhelmed, then I laughed because I couldn’t stop it. It felt like something inside me cracked wide open, something old and heavy and guilty, and out of it poured a love so fierce it nearly brought me to my knees.
“Adrian...” Elena whispered, exhausted, barely conscious.
“Elena...” I leaned down and kissed Elena’s forehead, again and again, because I didn’t know what else to do with the way my heart was exploding. “I’m so proud of you, baby. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you, Elena.”
Our daughter cried as the nurse gently placed her on Elena’s chest. I stared at our baby. She was so tiny, so impossibly perfect, it made my chest ache.
After a moment, the nurse lifted her again. “Alright,” she said gently. “Let’s get her cleaned up and dressed.”
I stepped aside, watching with a tight chest as they wiped her down, wrapped her in a soft blanket, and fitted a tiny hat over her damp curls. My hands felt useless at my sides, trembling just enough for me to notice.
When the nurse turned back to me, she smiled. “Do you want to hold her?”
My breath stilled.
I nodded once and she placed my daughter in my arms with the kind of care people used when handing someone a piece of their soul.
She fit against me so easily, so naturally, like she had always belonged there. Her warmth seeped straight into my bones. My arms tightened instinctively, protective and terrified all at once.
“Hey, Haille...” I whispered, my voice breaking before I could stop it.
Her little face scrunched, her mouth opened in a tiny cry, and something inside me cracked wide open.
