Aye, she was, but Osana was not to blame for what had just happened. He was. All his resolve, his decision to keep away from the alluring widow, and he had fallen upon Osana like a ravenous wolf.
Lechery leads to disgrace.
His own words returned to mock him. Osana was right. He locked himself away in this room, pondering life from afar, like an eagle perched upon a rocky eyrie. Yet the first moment he had been tested his resolve had crumbled.
“Go back to the hall, Osana,” he said quietly, turning from her as self-disgust settled upon him. “I think it’s best if we don’t have any more lessons.”
Chapter Eighteen
Beyond My Grasp
HER LEGS WOULD not work properly.
Osana stumbled back into the Great Hall, leaving Aldfrith behind in his annex. She barely paid notice to her surroundings. After that kiss, her wits were still scattered. She was still reeling, still trying to make sense of it. She had not expected him to kiss her. And she certainly had not imagined Aldfrith could kiss like that.
She had never experienced an embrace of its like, had never lost herself in a kiss so completely. It had been a wrench to pull herself away, even if the knock on the door had made it necessary.
What would have happened if Cerdic hadn’t interrupted us?
Osana flushed hot at the thought.
She crossed the floor of the Great Hall, her legs like jelly, making her way over to where Lora stood kneading bread at a long table.
Lora’s brow furrowed when her gaze alighted upon Osana. “You’re flushed … are you unwell?”
Osana shook her head, flashing Lora a quick smile. “I’m fine. It’s just hot in here compared to outdoors. Do you need help with that?”
Lora gave her a searching look. The woman was sharper than most folk realized, and she had an uncanny ability to read your mood. Yet Lora held her tongue and nodded. “There’s dough in that bowl that needs working.”
Grateful to have a task to occupy her, Osana rolled up her sleeves and got to work. She sprinkled a dusting of coarse flour on the wooden work surface and poured out the bouncy lump of dough. Then she began to knead it.
A gust of chill air blew across the floor as the doors opened, and Osana glanced up to see the king enter.
The sight of him made her breathing catch. Just a short while earlier she had been perched upon his lap while he ravaged her mouth and ran those strong sensitive hands over her body, setting her on fire.
He looked stern now though; not even the ghost of the earlier passion that had smoldered in those dark blue eyes was visible.
Osana’s chest constricted. Once the kiss had ended, she had seen the change in him, the invisible door that had slammed shut between them. His gaze was shuttered now, riveted upon the heavy-set blond warrior who sat upon the high seat, a cup of ale in hand, waiting for him.
Aldfrith did not glance her way, even though she knew he would have seen her upon entering the hall.
He was determined not to make eye contact with her.
Osana dropped her own gaze to the dough she was pummeling, her vision blurring.
Stop it,she chided herself.Why would you weep over such a thing? Of course Aldfrith isn’t going to look at you. Not now.
And yet she could not hide from the disappointment that settled over her in a heavy blanket. The attraction between them had been there from the first, simmering during every meeting over the last two and a half years. It was only natural that spending time together alone would ignite it.
I think it’s best if we don’t have any more lessons.
Aldfrith realized his mistake in tutoring her. She would not learn to read or to practice writing her name and other letters. A vise gripped Osana’s chest at the thought, squeezing tight. How she had loved that lesson: the smell of the ink, the scratch of the quill across the vellum, and the magic of seeing her name written there. She thirsted to learn more and felt cheated that one lesson would be all she would receive.
Arrogant woman.Osana punched hard at the dough.Raedwulf always said it. No wonder I’ve never been happy … I’ve always wanted what’s beyond my grasp.
Aldfrith approached the high seat, deliberately keeping his gaze focused upon the blond man waiting for him there, and away from the dark-haired woman standing at one of the work tables.
Even so, it took a monumental effort to focus his thoughts and not allow memories of that passionate kiss to distract him.
