I tug her into my arms, brushing a kiss across her crown. "I always want you to stay, baby girl. Every minute of every day, I want you right here."
"Maybe I shouldn't," she whispers, her voice so soft I almost don't hear it. "I…I should stay at my own place at least once this week, right?"
"Is that what you want to do?" I ask, tilting her head back until she's facing me. "Or is this you running from what I told you?"
"I'm not running."
"Liar," I whisper.
"I'm not running."
"You are." I brush my lips across her forehead. "But it's okay, baby girl. I get it. You've spent most of your life alone, afraid to let anyone close because you know what it feels like to lose the people who matter. You learned that lesson long before anyone ever should, and it lingered. I know it's going to take time to undo it. But I need you to hear me right now."
"I…" She gulps and then nods.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours, every inch of me for as long as you'll have me. So while you're panicking today, trying to come up with every reason you think you need to run to protect yourself, I'll be right here, waiting to prove to you that you don't need to do that." My thumb brushes her bottom lip. "I'm not going anywhere."
Tears well in her eyes, and I just want to scoop her up and shelter her from everything—her own mind, her past, the fucking world. I want to be Daddy right now, so fucking bad it hurts.
But, as someone who has been to war, I know I can't fight this one. I'd willingly lay myself down to spare her the smallest pain, but I can't fight her own mind. Only she can do that. And right now, she needs to learn that she's strong enough to do it.
"Get to work, baby girl. I'll give you a little space to work it through." I tip her chin back, forcing her to meet my gaze. "But I meant what I said. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not giving up. I love you."
She stares at me for a long moment and then nods before slipping out of my arms. She takes my heart with her when she walks out the door—every fucking inch of it.
Chapter Eleven
Sarah
I'm a mess when I make it to work, half an hour late, with Jasper's words replaying on a loop in my head. I want to drive right back there and tell him that I feel the same way, and that I'm so damn scared that I'm going to end up losing him and Olive both. But I feel frozen with panic, like the walls are closing in on me.
I don't know what to do. He's been my dream for so long. I think, at some point, I convinced myself that's all it would ever be—a dream. Now, it feels like it could be real. But the thing no one tells you about dreams becoming reality is that, once they do, you suddenly have something to lose, something that means more than anything ever has.
How do you give your whole heart to something, knowing how badly it can end? I don't mean a breakup. There are far worse things than that. I know because I've already lived those things.
I was saved from the fire that killed my family. But not soon enough to ever forget the sounds of the roaring flames, my grandmother and cousin's desperate cries, or my dad and uncle's weak coughs. Or what came next—their silence.
I was the poor little orphan girl all the way until I graduated high school, teased and pitied for something I was glad my classmates didn't understand. Even the worst of them didn't deserve to understand the kind of terror I felt, staring down a wall of flame with my family trapped on the other side.
And then I met Olive. She was my first friend, the first person I ever really let into my heart. I didn't have a choice. No one does with Olive. If you know her, you love her. It's inevitable.
Losing her would devastate me.
Losing her brother would be worse. I can survive in a world where he isn't mine. I've already done that. But surviving in one where he doesn't exist? Where I've given every piece of myself to him, just to lose him? I'm not sure I'm strong enough for that.
He knows me in ways no one else ever has. He sees me in ways I don't think anyone ever will again. He isn't just the man I'm wild about, he's my daddy—the one who makes me feel safe when nothing else ever has.
I found my voice in his arms. I found myself there, too.
The thought of losing him like I lost my family is tearing me apart. But…that's what I risk if we keep going. If I give him anymore of myself, there won't be enough to put back together if that day ever comes.
How am I supposed to face that?
I'm prepping the coffee station when Olive bursts into the store, breathing like she just ran a race.
"I fucked up!" she cries, hurrying toward me.
I almost tell her that I did too, that her brother told me that he loves me and I didn't say it back, but I bite my tongue. I still haven't even told her that we've been dating for the past week.
