Reality is complicated and messy. It's never tied up in a neat bow in the end like in books. There are loose threads and hidden pitfalls all over the place. You lose people and end up all alone.
"You okay?" Lilah asks, worry taking root in her perceptive gaze.
I nod quickly, sucking in a breath.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," I lie. "Um, you don't need to kill anyone, Jazz. The night was great." It's not the entire truth, but it's not a total lie, either. It's the gray area in between, the one that makes the panic recede a little. I can do this. I can live right here, in the gray area.
"Are you going to see him again?" Jazz asks.
"Yes," I whisper. Because that's the truth, too. I am going to see him again. I don't think I'll be able to help myself, not after last night.
Chapter Seven
Jasper
"Boo!" Olive says, popping up in my living room like the goddamn Ghost of Biochemists Past before I even make it over the threshold after dropping Sarah off at her car.
"Jesus Christ," I groan. "Why did I give you a key?"
"Uh, rude," she says, tossing her hair. "And you didn't give me one. I stole it and copied it, and there's nothing you can do about it."
I chuckle, shaking my head. "Why aren't you at work?"
"Harassing you is more fun than looking at my boring data." She smirks at me, perching on the arm of my couch. "Where were you?"
"Busy."
"Uh-huh. I noticed that Sarah's car wasn't home when I drove by her place this morning," she says. "And then you weren't home, either."
"Huh. Weird," I mutter, stomping past her into the kitchen.
"Jasper!" she cries, rushing after me. "Don't you dare leave me in suspense. I'll disown you."
"I don't want to inherit your wicked little dog, baby sister."
"Whatever. You adore Oscar." She jabs me with her fingernail. I don't know how the fuck she does it, but I swear to Christ, she hits the same sensitive spot she always hits, like she has the goddamn thing burned into muscle memory. "Spill. How did it go?"
"We woke up drunk and married in Vegas," I say, deadpan.
She eyes me levelly. "You know you gave me Power of Attorney over you and made me your beneficiary, right? If you accidentally stop breathing one day, I can legally steal all your shit and tell them to pull the plug."
"Jesus Christ," I bark laughter. "When did you get so savage?"
"Uh, when you went out with my best friend and decided to kill me with suspense," she cries. "What happened?"
"See, I would have told you," I say, striding across the kitchen to grab water from the fridge. "But that was before you made my life far more difficult than it had to be by not telling her that I was her date, Ol. So, I'm mad at you, and I'm not telling you shit."
"It was part of the plan."
"You told her that my name was Alex."
"It's your middle name," she says, shrugging. "And again, it was part of the plan."
I take a swig from the bottle and then lower it. "Uh-huh. And did you consider that your plan might have flaws?"
"Did you two have a good time?" she asks.
