‘Ha!’ Sam’s eyes widen and his face breaks into a fulllaugh. ‘Yes, I suppose it was. Sorry. Um …’ he says and he’s giving off this air of confidence mixed with total insecurity. It’s keeping me interested. ‘Do you want to wait around or …’
‘Or?’ I ask again.
‘Or go back to the hotel and we can meet there? I don’t mind. You choose.’
‘You choose,’ I throw back at him with a challenging smile.
‘OK,’ he says and lifts himself up to his full height. ‘Stay here. Wait for me. I’ll only be an hour. Unless we have to retake ten or twelve more times.’ He makes a face. ‘It’s an impromptu drink, after all. If you go back to the hotel and get changed, then it stops being impromptu.’
‘Fine,’ I reply, my challenging smile a bit less challenging now. ‘I’ll wait for you. Grab me when you’re done.’
‘I will. Great,’ he says again, and I find myself twirling a piece of my hair around my finger, which prompts the lady from Hair and Make-Up to run back over to fix her hard work, which I’ve just ruined.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Ollie
Ben told me ages ago that Aury thinks I’m ghosting her and I still am, to a certain extent. I feel like a piece of shit, though. I don’t want to ghost her, but I can’t work out what to say and it feels wrong to say the total truth, so I’m going in with a half-truth instead. Because the real truth – how much I like her, more than like her, and that I always have – would send the wheels spinning off our friendship and I’m not ready for that.
I’m sorry you think I’m ghosting you,I start and then backspace the lot. I’ve made that sound like Aury’s imagining it. Which she’s not. Ghostingandgaslighting someone is quite the charge sheet.
I’m sorry I’ve been ghosting you.There. That’s better. Although it’s not. I hate that word ‘ghosting’. Backspace again.
I’m sorry I’ve not been around for you. I’ve been a bit… I can’t think of a word.I’ve been rather focused on trying to forget you existmight be a little extreme.Ben reiterated that I couldn’t ever be with you and I never in my wildest dreams thought we’d end up together, but the moment he said it, I wanted to smack himaround his entitled face and I’ve never had violent thoughts before. But right then I did and there must be a reason for that, and I think the reason is you. And now I’m pretending you don’t exist.
I stare at the cursor blinking away, waiting for me to write something.
I’m sorry I’ve been ghosting you,I type.I’ve had my reasons. Please forgive me.It’s pathetic, but it’ll have to do.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Aurora
I stare at my phone as a message from Ollie lands. What does any of that mean? I’m at the hotel bar and Sam has ordered us two more glasses of champagne. The bar is elegant, refined, the deep-green velvet bar stools are comfy and encompassing, candles flicker in gold tea-light holders and oversized pillar candles make the wood-and-velvet space feel warm, inviting. I feel warm and invited. A TV star is buying me drinks and I’m ignoring him and staring at a message from Ollie.
‘Is that Liv again?’ Sam asks with a grin. ‘What shall we tell her now? Shall we say I’ve just invited you up to my room?’
I lift my gaze and stare at him. ‘You’re cruel. That lie will kill her.’
Liv wouldn’t stop messaging all through the first hour of drinks, and Sam suggested we start drip-feeding her false info to see how far we could get her reactions to go. The bedroom story might be a tad too far, though.
‘It doesn’t have to be a lie,’ he says and that suggestion does something to me it shouldn’t.
‘What?’
‘Think about it for a bit. Not right now. Actually, you know what? I’m retracting the invite. It was too soon.’
‘Yes, it was,’ I say. But also quite hot.
‘I might ask you at the end of the date if you want to come up to my room.’
‘You might?’ I question.
‘But I might not.’
‘You’ve already asked,’ I point out.
‘Then I retracted it. Now you’ll have to wait and see.’
