‘I won’tmakeyou. But I will shoot you looks if you overdo it.’
‘I won’t overdo it. I want Aurora to think I’m a better person. Iama better person.’
‘OK. Prove it then.’
‘Maybe you’re right about a restaurant or pub. Maybe we shouldn’t meet in the club,’ he says.
‘Yeah, maybe not,’ I reply distractedly as I man up and text Liv. It’s like pulling a plaster off, this. Just got to do it and launch straight in.
Hi Liv, how are you? I know it’s been a while since we spoke properly. But I wondered how you were, and if you wanted to grab a coffee or a drink together sometime. Be nice to catch up. Ollie x
I hit send, hoping Liv doesn’t try to read something between the lines that isn’t there. I also don’t want to mention Ben or a reunion at this point, because I think that’ll scare her off.
Clearing the air with Liv might be wise. If only for my peace of mind. And hers. I’d like to occupy a friendship space again with Liv instead of this nothing-space we’re currently in, our messages having fizzled out. It’s nice that Aury wants to be in Ben’s life in some format. I should want that with Liv too, and in some ways I do. I want to know she’s doing all right.
Hi,she replies.OK, let’s meet.
CHAPTER THIRTY
I wish I’d made more effort now. Liv arrives at the coffee shop looking stunning. I’d forgotten how gorgeous she is.
‘Hey,’ I say, getting up when she arrives so that I can greet her. We automatically hug, because anything else would be stand-offish.
‘Hey yourself,’ she says, all smooth tones and polished hair, high up in a long straight ponytail. She’s in her lunch hour and so I’ve come over to the City near her office. I’ve got an afternoon of free study, on what is beginning to feel like a never-ending journey to becoming a doctor.
‘I got you a cappuccino,’ I tell her.
‘I’m a double-espresso girl these days, but thanks,’ she says, taking a sip after gliding into her chair. ‘How are you?’
‘All right,’ I reply honestly, ignoring the double-espresso comment. ‘How areyou?’
‘Same. Busy.’ She flicks a glance at her watch, but she’s only just got here.
‘Yeah, same.’Oh Christ, this is hardcore.
‘So …’ Liv says and waits for me to say something.
‘Good to see you. It’s been a while,’ I respond.
‘It has. You look well.’
We could play this game all day, but I decide to cut to the chase. ‘I’m sorry how it ended between us.’
She looks taken aback at my abruptness, then adopts a stubborn face, as if she’s about to chastise me, lay into me for breaking her heart the way I clearly did before she dumped me. But instead she says, ‘Fine. If you want to get into it so early on, then – me too. I know we weren’t kind to each other towards the end, but … I didn’t know how to proceed. I loved you. You just didn’t love me.’
‘I did.’
‘In your own way.’
‘I suppose. Yeah,’ I say and it feels like a cop-out.
‘You weren’tinlove with me, were you?’ she questions.
I squirm in my chair. ‘I’m not sure.’
‘That means no,’ Liv laughs out the sentence bitterly.
‘I’m sorry,’ I reply meaningfully. ‘I really am. I don’t know what else to say.’
