I can tell by the tread in the hall it’s Ollie. He enters the kitchen and takes off his headphones, followed by his rucksack. ‘You all right?’ he asks by way of a greeting. He lifts the kettle, fills it with water, puts it back down and flicks the switch. His smile drops when he sees our faces. I thought I had a good poker-face, but apparently not. ‘What’s going on,’ he enquires. ‘What’s happening?’
‘Nothing’s happening,’ I say and give Ben a silent lookto play along. I don’t want Ollie to know. I’m more nervous of Ollie finding out what I’m planning than I am of my own mum finding out.
‘Aurora’s dropping out.’ Ben betrays me immediately.
‘What?’ Ollie asks loudly.
‘Thanks, Ben,’ I say sarcastically and then turn to Ollie. ‘It can hardly be a surprise, can it?’ I point out. ‘It was you who said I should switch courses.’
‘Oh, phew!’ His relief is obvious. ‘I thought you were, like, proper dropping out. What course are you switching to?’
‘No, Iamproper dropping out.’
‘No,’ he exclaims, looking lost on my behalf. ‘No, you can’t.’
‘Why not?’ I ask, in the same genuine tone I asked Ben a few seconds ago.
‘Because it’s the wrong thing to do.’
‘But why?’ I ask, looking into Ollie’s eyes as if I might actually find an answer there.
‘Because …’ he blinks.
‘Come on,’ I instruct with a laugh. ‘You’ve got to do better than that.’
He runs his hand through his dark hair, which I notice now is floppier than it used to be. I think he’s growing it out. ‘I don’t know. Give me a second. You’re … almost there,’ he says. ‘You’re almost at the end.’
‘I’ve got a year left.’
‘Exactly. So close.’
‘It’s the hard year,’ I mourn.
‘They’re all bloody hard,’ he tells me.
‘It’s the one that really counts, for me,’ I tack on, because Ollie’s still got about a hundred years to go before he can finish studying. ‘I’m on track for a third.’
‘Are you? Shit. I didn’t know that. Is it too late to swap now?’ he asks, knowing full well that it is.
I give him a look.
He shakes his head and then looks at Ben. I almost forgot Ben was here. ‘What do you think?’
‘It’s not up to both of you,’ I remind them.
‘So why are you asking us then?’ Ollie quick-fires back.
‘Because I love and respect your opinions. They help inform my own, but they won’tbemy own.’
‘Don’t be a wanker,’ Ollie snaps and Ben laughs in surprise.
I don’t laugh, though.
‘Whatdoyou think?’ Ollie asks Ben.
‘I think it’s a bad idea, but I don’t know why.’
‘Well, that’s unhelpful,’ Ollie says as if he’s the only adult in the room. ‘This is a terrible decision, and why are you making it now?’
