“First, it was going to live with my grandfather, and then, it was college and the family business and who I associate with and how I spend my time,” he rambled, “and now, she wants me to get married! And has someone picked out, and I can’t standher. She’s just like my mother, and I can’t… I can’t… I can’t… I can’t…”
Those two words fell out of his mouth on repeat as if his mind was glitching out over everything. I made a move toward him, but he paced right on by me. And so, I gave him the room to work it out and helped myself to another drink because I needed it.
A fucking wife.After everything we had, it was just so easily thrown away for some woman.
Correction: a woman from his world—the world of money, fancy things, and fucking entitlement.All the things I couldn’t bring to a relationship.I only had two jobs, broken down shit, and a slight attitude problem.
“I told her I didn’t want to leave,” Harley continued. I stopped mid-sip, shocked.He said what now?“I told her… I told her… and then she told me she’d make me regret it. I don’t know what she’d do, but I said it… oh, I shouldn’t have said it.”
I slowly set down the bottle while his words replayed in my head over and over.He’d told his mother he didn’t want to leave.The weight of that admission was monumental.
“I don’t know what I was thinking.” He just kept going. “I don’t know… I don’t know how to fix this… how do I fix this? How do I—”
“What if you stayed?” I interrupted. The question surprised me, even as it came out of my mouth. Still, I stood by it. It was risky. I didn’t have a plan any more than he did.
“What if I stayed?” Harley repeated in disbelief, his brows furrowing together as the question stopped his pacing.
“Yeah,” I said. “What if you stayed… with me?”
“With you…?” His voice was quiet, barely audible, as he repeated it back to me. I wasn’t sure if the anxiety was taking over or if I was just that far off with my question.
“Yeah,” I replied. I stepped closer, my hands itching to touch him, but I didn’t. “What if you stayed with me? We can stay here,or I have some money put away that could get an apartment in town if you wanted.”
His expression was painfully difficult to read. It set me on edge. I needed some kind of give—some kind of sign that I wasn’t an idiot. Was I making a mistake putting myself out there like this? By offering him a life with me?
“Or we could leave,” I suggested. “If you don’t want to stay here, we don’t have to. We can… just hit the road and drive until we find somewhere new. Or just put as much distance between us and here as possible. Go somewhere new and start over.”
“I…” The single word trailed off, and I deflated a little.That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for.I wanted him to pick me. To pick us. “Mav… I…”
“I know I don’t have much,” I rushed to say before I lost the rest of my nerve. “I know I can’t give you the life you’ve got now, Harley… hell, I’m barely keeping myself alive here. I have a little bit saved, and I can get another job or two or whatever it takes to make you happy. Just… just stay with me.”
“You want me to stay… why?” Harley asked. I could see the way his mind tried to sort out what I was asking of him.
“Because I love you,” I admitted, fully aware that it was a pathetic answer. It wasn’t enough, but I didn’t have anything else to offer him.Not really.This was it: just me and how much I loved him.
“You… you love me?” he said so softly that I almost missed it. All I could do was nod. I didn’t have the words to describe the way I felt for him. Silence stretched between us, ticking by at an agonizingly slow rate. My skin itched with anticipation, and I did my best not to explode on him—to demand some kind of answer instead of giving him the space to think. “I have money saved away, too.”
“What?” I replied stupidly, the blood rushing to my head and the world tilting slightly as he spoke.Was I hearing things?
“And I don’t mind getting a job,” he continued. “I don’t have a lot of practical skills, but I could learn. We’d need somewhere bigger at some point. This place is barely big enough for one person. I don’t know how we’d make two people work in here. We’d be tripping over each other all the time.”
“You’ll stay?” I asked.
“I’m scared, Maverick,” Harley whispered. The genuine fear in his voice as he said the words wrapped around my heart in a vise. I closed the distance between us in quick strides and dragged his face to mine, kissing him once. Twice. Three times. I hoped to hell it bled with the comfort he so desperately needed in this moment. His arms folded around my waist as he hugged me close. His chest heaved with unsteady breaths as he tried to hold it together.
“I can’t promise it’ll be okay,” I told him, my voice rasping against my throat. Emotions surged through me in a wild, untamable way. I wanted to protect him and whisk him away. I wanted to make everything okay again and make him smile. I wanted to make sure he had the kind of life he wanted.But I couldn’t promise a single one of those.
“I know.”
“But you won’t be alone,” I promised.It was about the only thing I knew I could promise him.
CHAPTER 40
harley
Inuzzled into the crook of Maverick’s neck, breathing in the smoky scent of him and letting it fill my lungs. His fingers moved through my hair and down my spine in lazy, absent-minded tracks. This right here… his warmth, his touch, his presence… it was infinitely comforting. Each touch was grounding and made it that much harder to think about leaving.
I’d spent the night with him. The weight of his confession and my decision had left me worn down. Sleep hadn’t made me feelany better. Not when my mother left one message asking where I was, as if she didn’t already know. Her name on my phone made me replay our conversation in my head, and it only made me feel awful all over again. The cycle was vicious and never-ending.
